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General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

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Old 10-13-2005, 09:25 PM
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I just needed to vent. I feel very angry about a PM I just recieved from my ex.

Here it is. :
Rowan has never had you. You've been a VISITOR in his life since he was born. You will never be more. Sorry.

I am Rowan's mother. I've been there for him from day one, and always have been. He'd be a wreck without me. you know, I know what's best for him, and I know what he does and does not need. I've never put myself befor ehim, you've been witnes to that time and time again.

He does not need you. He never has, he never will.

You are the one being selfish here it seems. YOU need Rowan. Why? I don't know. Perhaps you need some sort of validation as to whether or not you're a good person. Either way, it doesn't matter. Biology does not a father make.

Rowan hasn't needed you, and won't ever need you. When I go out and see new things with him when Justin's at work, he talks about how much he wants to see Justin and how he wants to show everything to Justin. When he comes back from visiting you, he talks about Auntie Jenny or Grandma Brenda, and even occasionally, Grandpa, but he never ever ever talks about you. Since Rowan was born you've been in and out of his life, and he's never cared. He never will. You have two choices here. You can move to London and see him more often, and continue to be a FRIEND (because you won't ever be much more) to him, or you can move on. I don't even want your child support anymore. When I first told you I was going to leave, you were going to go back on a ship and you were going to be gone from his life. The fact that the people on the ship didn't want you back is all it took to keep you around. I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is. If you continue to convince yourself that you're doing a good job or that Rowan needs you in his life, you're going to be in for a terrible, terrible surprise when Rowan is old enough to truly speak his mind and feelings.




I need a lawyer. Jeff want to take my case?
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Old 10-13-2005, 10:17 PM
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Sounds like a case of parental alienation or a good attempt to eliminate you from your child's life.

One word document everything!

You say that was sent as an instant message? Thats a horrible message to receive.
Get legal advice about the viability of using that in an affidavit. Since it is electronic you may not be able to. The reason for this is that there is no signatures and anyone with word processing software can type out a document. Don't let her push your buttons in an effort to make you become irrational. She may be setting you up. Smile and be the nicest guy possible. Be very friendly and offer kind words when you have contact with her. This will drive her nuts and you can guarantee she will continue to do more to provoke you. Carry around a tape recorderm you can get digital ones at staples for $100 that you can uplade to pc for archive purposes. State date and time and record when you pick up your child. Again this may not be allowed due to the fact they can say you provoked the situation. However, you never know when you will need evidence like this to protect yourself. These are just ideas. A few cases that comes to mind is this at canlaw

http://www.canlii.org/on/cas/oncj/2004/2004oncj157.html and also this

http://www.canlii.org/on/cas/onsc/20...onsc12842.html and also this

http://www.canlii.org/on/cas/onsc/20...onsc14047.html

Keep you chin up. You have the same right as her to be a parent of your child. Courts condone this type of vindictive behaviour. You just have to proove it is happening.
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Old 10-13-2005, 10:21 PM
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Sorry to hear your situation Rowan,
One wee piece of advice...definitely get legal advice...but also...do your very best not to let the emotionally stress of this get to you...after seeing so many people get caught up in the battles...I often remind people now...

Sticks and stones can break my bones but names can never hurt me...it is a silly little childhood saying but you really have to keep it in mind during divorce/separation...ex's can sling the worse dirt at each other and can say the most hateful things...the best defense is not to react and just deal with your facts...you are his father and HE is entitled to see you...keep the dirt out of your mind and keep focused on the matters at hand. Even the fact that she is emotionally and you might be wasting time trying to negotiate with an irrational/bitter person.

Just a bit of my thoughts...hope that helps!
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Old 10-13-2005, 10:24 PM
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Hahahaha!

Tape recorders have been used but be careful...there are laws about entrapment and privacy now...I do believe you have to disclose that you are recording. Check it out before using it...although I know people who have used it in negotiations.
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Old 10-13-2005, 10:59 PM
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Hi RowanDu,

Welcome to the divorce forums. Venting is one of the things we're here for. I agree with logicalvelocity and nikitaforce that's a horrible PM to receive.

I appreciate your interest in retaining me. The best way to start is to telephone Lindsay:
http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/members/lindsay/
She can be reached at 613-598-0020 x221.
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Old 10-13-2005, 11:46 PM
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That’s exactly what I said. They may not allow it as the other party could say the situation was provoked. However, you might be able to use the recordings for a recollection of events when consulting with a lawyer and drafting documents or for that matter to contradict a version of events when the other party has a slightly different version than yours. Family Law evidence is somewhat relaxed compared to criminal proceedings. Courts have been known to open young offender records to dertermine parenting ability just as an example. When the best interest of a child is in question, the presiding judge just may allow it. You never know what will happen.
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Old 12-06-2005, 12:45 AM
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Why are you 2 pm'ing each other?
I would think that this sort of thing should be resolved in person, or at least on the phone?
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Old 12-07-2005, 10:54 AM
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I was told by my lawyer that I can record the conversations without telling my ex as long as I was involved in the conversation and that it can and will be used. I am not sure if it is because of the situation I am in, but I know that we have used it in court because of the threats and such that were on tape.
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Old 12-23-2005, 02:35 AM
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I was sure the other party had to give permission for recordings to take place.
Even when police interview suspects, they must ask for permission.
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