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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 04-29-2013, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
You are missing the point altogether.

No one is being asked to agree with each other or not to voice different points of view. But is it really necessary to make a view explicit by employing carass and below the belt kind of references? It also does not cost much to show a little compassion towards someone who is coming to this forum for the first time. Like, I said before, we've all been there.

I also recognize that this forum is a lifeline for quite a few people. It offers an opportunity to reman connected with others in the same boat so to speak as well as share our own experiences to help others. So kudos to those that are able to dedicate their personal time to help others.
Oh for goodness sake, the above comment was made to everyone and not directed at you specifically Carrana.

No one said you were not beautiful. I happen to know several women over 65, 70, even 80 who are very beautiful. Age certainly does not define beauty. But it does imply someone is more likely to have acquired a greater degree of wisdom and a more refined perspective through sheer experience.

Not offended in the least, just surprised.

Last edited by Nadia; 04-29-2013 at 09:52 AM.
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 04-29-2013, 09:52 AM
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Originally Posted by Nadia View Post
This thread (as do many of late) is fast becoming a competition for the most offensive comment one can make...
I agree with this statement. The quality of these forums have dropped, as of late. Thanks to those, who offer helpful advice, or insight. But some folks also just seem to be spurting out verbal diarrhea.

Original poster... I understand your post was just a "vent", but perhaps, you can explain your custody arrangement, with this ex? If she's not helping support the two kids, does that mean you have custody or primary care, of these children? A little background, might help...(apologies, if you've already provided/posted in, in other thread(s).
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 04-29-2013, 10:21 AM
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Originally Posted by iceberg View Post
How does being poor helps if legal aid is broken and how does being rich helps if you hit your ex wife?
Poor: You get a lawyer, your opponent does not. Legal aid is awesome for the poor, but it is broken in terms of justice. I'm sure poor people are nice, but they are not so nice that we should be destroying the justice system for them.

Rich: You get to hire a good criminal lawyer and a good family lawyer. You'll be fine. Probably cheaper to hire a goon to hit the ex wife though, if you have that much money and are prone to that type of conflict resolution methodology.
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 04-29-2013, 10:44 AM
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we were together from 2000 to 2010 i left she had the kids for a year. she quite her job even with out a court order i gave her 600$ a month for the kids plus extra's.over the year she had the kids she got into drugs made a profile on plenty of fish had all kinds of guys over to the house. she hit the kids which i had pic's i used in court my older son missed 50 days of school the kids were running wild in the streets.

so after spending weeks of talking to her asking her to change for the sake of the kids under the advice of my lawyer on a weekend i had the kids i took them and never sent them back

we spent a year in court i had a great lawyer and a very solid case i won custody she now gets to see them 30 hours a month with one week during the summer. she moved over 100 km away so the courts said i have to drive and pick them up at my cost i've now had them for over a year and she has not given me a cent to help towards the kids.

she has told me she will never work again and in fact has just had another kid with another guy just so she could get more money from the gov and is planing on having another soon.

my problem is why can someone who could care less about her kids cry that i don't respect her rights while i pay everything for the kids and spend my time being the mother and father while she sits back and lives off the gov money

on top of it she tells all of her friends that she let me have the kids because of school and tells me if i tell anyone about why she lost the kids she would take me to court. and throws it in my face that she has free legal aid and she would drag me to court till i go bankrupt.

once again i know i picked her but its really not fair
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Old 04-29-2013, 10:50 AM
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So you have custody of your kids, and they live with you now? And you have a court order now, that shows this?

I presume, you have at least obtained the government CCTB and other benefits, for these children, to come to you, as the children's primary caregiver? (just checking, because they should be coming to you...and am trying to get an idea of financial situation)

If Mom is a welf, and doesn't care about her kids, I wouldn't expect money "from her", anytime soon. People talk about going to court, to have an income "imputed" to a person (if they remain unemployed intentionally), but I'm not sure how successful you would be in that regard here, and the costs of court just to obtain, probably nothing, would not be worth it, in my opinion.

What does your current court order state now, about any child support, to be paid by Mom?
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 04-29-2013, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
I agree with this statement. The quality of these forums have dropped, as of late. Thanks to those, who offer helpful advice, or insight. But some folks also just seem to be spurting out verbal diarrhea.
I also agree.

Its quite a shame since a lot of the wise posters seem to be not bothering to post anymore or have left the site altogether.

90% of the posts of late are just nonsensical blatherings of junk irrelevant to divorce or the divorce process. And the most prolific posters are often the most useless ones.

To the OP re: this:

Quote:
why in the Canadian system can someone have kids lose custody of them, see them for 30 hours every 2 months
I'm sorry about your cs arrangement. How did it happen? Is it something that you can possibly rectify in the future? I understand the need to vent...but perhaps someone here could offer some more helpful advice on your situation.

Last edited by Pursuinghappiness; 04-29-2013 at 10:55 AM.
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Old 04-29-2013, 11:05 AM
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If Mom is a welf, and doesn't care about her kids, I wouldn't expect money "from her", anytime soon. People talk about going to court, to have an income "imputed" to a person (if they remain unemployed intentionally), but I'm not sure how successful you would be in that regard here, and the costs of court just to obtain, probably nothing, would not be worth it, in my opinion.
Yes, after reading what he posted, I also agree with this.

There are just a lot of people who aren't going to work and she sounds like one of them. I've seen a lot of habitually lazy people who just have zero intention of ever getting off their butts and earning a living and looking at them, their quality of life and level of self-respect really isn't that enviable. Also, she's clearly bitter over the custody arrangement so she's going to make sure she doesn't work so that he doesn't get a dime out of her out of spite.

The situation definitely isn't fair financially but I think in situations like this you just have to look on the bright side. You have the children and because you do...they most likely have a much higher chance of being mentally and emotionally healthy kids.

The world is full of women and men who've had to raise children alone without help...and their children turn out amazing. It sucks...and no its not fair. But life isn't fair for most people. Count your blessings and be lucky for what you do have. Your children are going to one day realize what you took on and be so thankful to you. That's a wonderful reward.
  #28 (permalink)  
Old 04-29-2013, 11:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by afraid View Post

we spent a year in court i had a great lawyer and a very solid case i won custody she now gets to see them 30 hours a month with one week during the summer. she moved over 100 km away so the courts said i have to drive and pick them up at my cost i've now had them for over a year and she has not given me a cent to help towards the kids.

my problem is why can someone who could care less about her kids cry that i don't respect her rights while i pay everything for the kids and spend my time being the mother and father while she sits back and lives off the gov money

on top of it she tells all of her friends that she let me have the kids because of school and tells me if i tell anyone about why she lost the kids she would take me to court. and throws it in my face that she has free legal aid and she would drag me to court till i go bankrupt.

once again i know i picked her but its really not fair
Best to limit communication to email and let her dig her own hole in respect to making threats. Don't spend time thinking about what she tells her friends as to why she lost the kids.

She has an obligation to contribute financially - by paying child support. If she is intentionally unemployed, then have the minimum income imputed to her. If she has another child that she needs to care for, ask her to explain why she can not work part-time and contribute something in way of child support for the first two. If she needs to re-train in order to get back in the labor force, encourage her to do so.

If she refuses to do this, put it all in an affidavit and let the courts decide on how much she should be paying in way of child support. Put forward an offer to settle that shows that you are willing to be reasonable about this and give her some time to get her act together, but be firm on timelines and the expectation that child support will be forthcoming.
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 04-29-2013, 11:34 AM
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i do get CCTB checks but a good part of it goes to paying my gas just to take them to see there mother. there is a court order saying i have custody . i try to look on the bright side of things and stay positive but it is very hard sometimes. she has even told me that since i have a decent job what would 60$ or 70$ a week from her in cs change. to put icing on the cake she is renting a modern house with a pool and Jacuzzi while her and her bf are on welfare and i'm renting an apartment because it is expensive to raise 2 kids on your own. hopefully it will get easier with time
  #30 (permalink)  
Old 04-29-2013, 11:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slughead10 View Post
high access costs are a reason to reduce child support.....
But he is doing all the driving.
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