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Old 08-27-2012, 02:19 PM
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Default "Trash the Dress" / Other Puzzling Divorce Trends

I am always puzzled with all the "divorce" trends such as "Eat Pray Love", "The Divorce Cake" and "Divorce Parties" that evolved in the past decade.

Eat Pray Love and the trope of the woman liberated by divorce. - Slate Magazine

Funny Divorce Cakes | Shrink4Men

Divorce party - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The recent one that came to mind due to recent media attention (although not directly related to "Divorce") is the "Trash the Dress" ritual.

Trash the dress - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I would like to hear from people who have had a "divorce party" (with or without the ex), were inspired by reading "Eat Love Pray" and afterwards got a divorce and anyone who actually has gotten a "Divorce Cake" on their views of the whole industry forming around this.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 08-27-2012, 02:32 PM
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It's not just women!

My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress

Although I haven't actually done any of the above, given that I'm not divorced yet, I do plan to have a small celebration to mark the event. There will be cake.
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Old 08-27-2012, 02:47 PM
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I didn't have a party or a cake but I did manage to have a few (right...few too many) drinks with my very best girl friend.
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Old 08-27-2012, 03:11 PM
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Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
It's not just women!

My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress
Yes, we (women) are not the only ones engaging in this kind of odd behaviour.

Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
Although I haven't actually done any of the above, given that I'm not divorced yet, I do plan to have a small celebration to mark the event. There will be cake.
Let them eat cake - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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Old 08-27-2012, 03:41 PM
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Yes, we (women) are not the only ones engaging in this kind of odd behaviour.


Lols! Go estrogen!
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Old 08-27-2012, 04:29 PM
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I didn't read eat,pray,love...so I'm not exactly sure what you're referring to. I'm not into mainstream chick novels or self-help books.

However, I have heard about some of these things. They have a site where you go through this ritual of melting down your wedding bands into a new "divorce band"....or this site that sells wedding ring coffins 2d Give Your Wedding Ring the Burial it Deserves 36 .

These things all seem strange and silly to me. I have zero intention of celebrating divorce in some ritualistic way.

I will say that after my nightmarish in-home separation, the first night I spent in my new home was wonderful. The morning after all my boxes and things were safely in my new place, I took a long walk and just celebrated my freedom. I felt this tremendous sense of well-being and peace. After living with someone who is severly controlling and has emotional issues, divorce has been one of the best things I've done in my adult life.

After my divorce battle...when I finally get my divorce certificate...I'm sure that I'll have the same type of feeling. I don't revel in the fact that my marriage ended and won't be performing any rituals but I am very much enjoying having more peace and joy in my life.

By the way, I didn't have a wedding dress...but I just went ahead and shredded the two wedding photos that I had (they were just camera shots, we didn't have a photographer)...and I plan to give my rings to the kids to do what they like with when they're old enough.
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Old 08-27-2012, 06:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
I didn't read eat,pray,love...so I'm not exactly sure what you're referring to.
A recent trend of "divorces" inspired by the Book "Eat Pray Love" and the movie were tracked by a number of mental health professionals when it all became popular media.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love
“I don’t want to be married anymore.

In daylight hours, I refused that thought, but at night it would consume me. What a catastrophe. How could I be such a criminal jerk as to proceed this deep into a marriage, only to leave it? We’d only just bought this house a year ago. Hadn’t I wanted this nice house? Hadn’t I loved it? So why was I haunting its halls every night now, howling like Medea? Wasn’t I was proud of all we’d accumulated – the prestigious home in the Hudson Valley, the apartment in Manhattan, the eight phone lines, the friends and the picnics and the parties, the weekends spent roaming the aisles of some box-shaped superstore of our choice, buying ever more appliances on credit? I had actively participated in every moment of the creation of this life – so why did I feel like none of it resembled me? Why did I feel so overwhelmed with duty, tired of being the primary breadwinner and the housekeeper and the social coordinator and the dog walker and the wife and the soon-to-be-mother, and – somewhere in my stolen moments – a writer?

I don’t want to be married anymore.

…I will not discuss here all the reasons why I did still want to be his wife, or all his wonderfulness, or why I loved him and why I had married him and why I was unable to imagine life without him. I won’t open any of that. Let it be sufficient to say that on this night, he was still my lighthouse and my albatross in equal measure. The only thinking more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing mor impossible than staying was leaving. I didn’t want to destroy anything or anybody. I just wanted to slip quietly out the back door, without causing any fuss or consequences, and then not stop running until I reached Greenland.”
- Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love
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Old 08-27-2012, 06:44 PM
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Hmmm that character in the book sounds like a bit of a narcissistic ahole to me.Relationships take work and as truly horrible as mine was ,I tried and tried to make it work .The idea of making some poor guy a stooge while I went off to discover my inner ahole is cruel and rather selfish.But Im rather old fashioned and out of touch with the real world apparently
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Old 08-27-2012, 07:04 PM
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Hmmm that character in the book sounds like a bit of a narcissistic ahole to me.Relationships take work and as truly horrible as mine was ,I tried and tried to make it work .The idea of making some poor guy a stooge while I went off to discover my inner ahole is cruel and rather selfish.But Im rather old fashioned and out of touch with the real world apparently
Well, your observations have been noted by several and in particular the whole "narcissistic" element of your comment too. If you search for "Eat Pray Love" and "Narcissistic" you get some interesting hits:

Eat, Pray, Loathe: Women’s Travel Memoir as Moving Metaphysical Journey or Narcissistic NewAge Babble?

http://ejournalist.com.au/v11n1/Cantrell.pdf
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Old 08-27-2012, 08:39 PM
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Excuse the language,just had one of those days A more polite descriptive word just couldn't come to mind!
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