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  #121 (permalink)  
Old 09-19-2017, 08:21 PM
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This is when I really wish we had both spouses on a thread LOL. I'm sure it would be very enlightening.

To those who do not value people who stay home to look after largest investment the two will every have (home and family) - you are but a small minority of Canadians.

I worked throughout most of my marriage (career which I gave up to contribute to go into business with my then-husband). I was fortunate to have much flexibility. There isn't a chance my husband would have fared as well as he did without my contribution.

I don't get where you think that stay-at-home parents do nothing but watch soap operas. When I would go to the school I was always so very thankful of those parents who would volunteer their time and look after MY child and assist MY CHILD'S teacher... I appreciated those parents who volunteered for the numerous field trips/ski trips/camping trips that my son was fortunate to be able to participate in. I appreciate the parents who volunteered to be on the parent-teacher committees. I appreciate the parents who opened their doors to my child and others after school when we weren't able to pick our kids up. I appreciate the parents who sent in home-baked goodies at haloween, Christmas, Easter for all to enjoy.....

I know my husband was very grateful that he could work extended hours (sometimes away for a week at a time or more) and know, with confidence, that our son was looked after and home was maintained in his absence. I know my husband appreciated all the times when I entertained his very-large family with home-make food which took weeks to prepare. I know my husband appreciated coming home to an immaculate home with beautifully prepared meals, after having a shower in the immaculate bathroom and slipping into his nice clean and ironed clothes. I know my husband appreciated having quality time with his son when he was home (instead of schlepping with housework). At the end of the day my husband had a wonderful sleep in his clean bed, knowing his lunch for work (should he require one) was waiting for him in the fridge when he departed the next day. I know when husband had time off he appreciated that I made all of the social arrangements and frequently entertained his friends in style. I know my husband appreciated that when he came home from a hard day on the golf course that his bills were paid for him and cards/condolences/flowers were delivered to his family when required. Did I mention that my husband rarely had to meet the accountant or banker as I took care of all financing of equipment?

Watch soap operas? What world are you living in? We only had 1 child. I cannot fathom people who have more kids, especially families who are dealing with unhealthy or special needs children.

Give your head a shake. Staying home is not always as easy as it seems.
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  #122 (permalink)  
Old 09-19-2017, 08:29 PM
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oops - forgot about the homework and science project work. I'm sure I've forgotten many things and I hope others can chime in to enlighten our friends here.

oops - also forgot about the many homes we owned through the years and the endless stream of contractors who left messes which had to be cleaned up daily. I do recall painting many, many times. My husband used the washing machine 1 x in 30 years. When we separated and we were walking through the home assessing everything he was curious what the "long hose was that always hung in one of the front closets" - I had to tell him it was a central vacuum hose. He had absolutely no idea. His idea of tidying up was to walk by the fridge and if there were crumbs he would kick them under the fridge. Seriously.
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Old 09-19-2017, 09:37 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1ati2de View Post
So very true. It’s hard not to work 40+ hours a week with all the stress of providing for a family, watch soaps, run errands and take care of the kids. Live in a comfortable home, food, cloths, and vacations, possible a car all paid for. Rough life I tell you, I would just hate that.


See this is always the typical response... wife stays home but husband says all she did was watch soaps all day... he fails to mention the clean house he came home to, how he dodged all his responsibilities for his children, home cooked meals, he was able to advance his career because he didn't have to take care of his children or make dinner or do his own laundry or clean his own house. Real tough life he has, his only responsibility is work and then he gets to go home and relax while his wife continues to work until the children are in bed.

You work for a job for years and get fired the company pays a severance... sometimes this is lump sum and sometimes it's paid out on an on going basis. Maybe we should for go severance to since the worker had the benefit of a job for years so now they can just move on and find a new job and continue to be self sufficient


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Old 09-19-2017, 09:46 PM
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Yeah I don't recall my ex spending 10 days at his father's home cleaning, scrubbing floors, sorting out belongings when father was moved to assisted living.... Don't recall my ex going from seniors place to seniors place figuring out which was best place for father... don't recall ex taking time off to volunteer to make cabbage rolls for all the ukranian gatherings that his family participated in.

I could go on and on and on. Sure I was married for a long time. But for someone to undermine the value of a stay-at-home person's contribution to the marriage is simply not correct. If they were living with someone who sat in front of the TV all day then that has nothing to do with SS legislation, rather their inability to "grow some" and resolve problems with their mates or get out of the marriage.
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Old 09-19-2017, 10:20 PM
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here is an American op ed published today in Fox.

Some may agree... some may disagree

Is equality ruining your marriage? | Fox News

(I would caution people that the study itself is over 20 years old I believe and of age 52 - 60 yr olds)

Last edited by arabian; 09-19-2017 at 10:26 PM.
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  #126 (permalink)  
Old 09-19-2017, 10:46 PM
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One of my brothers in law has this attitude. I dont think my sister has watched a full episode of any show in six years, had a full nights sleep in that time or gotten to enjoy a full cup of coffee to herself. Ive spent days with her where we have gotten through all the laundry in 8 hours and considered it a win. That doesnt include cleaning the house, feeding and bathing the children and eating a warm meal sitting down.

Its funny how the grass is so green on the stay at home mom side. None of these ss is bs bitches would survive an hour let alone a week.
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  #127 (permalink)  
Old 09-20-2017, 02:42 AM
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The stay at home is exchanging having to work outside the home by receiving food, rent, maybe a car, etc...while the other partner has to work and pay for everything.

Two working partners should be sharing the load.

No one should continue to get a free ride after divorce.....real (healthy and able) adults should take care of themselves.
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Old 09-20-2017, 08:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by piggybanktoex View Post
The stay at home is exchanging having to work outside the home by receiving food, rent, maybe a car, etc...while the other partner has to work and pay for everything.

Has to work and pay for everything. Because what the partner staying at home is doing is not work. Right.
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  #129 (permalink)  
Old 09-20-2017, 08:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by piggybanktoex View Post
The stay at home is exchanging having to work outside the home by receiving food, rent, maybe a car, etc...while the other partner has to work and pay for everything.
oddly similar to the Southern Argument in Defense of Slavery.
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  #130 (permalink)  
Old 09-20-2017, 10:47 AM
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We have all been down this road (discussion) before.

Those that pay support don't like it and those that receive support like it.

Go figure.

I too, would love to receive someone else's money instead of earning it myself.
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