spousal abuse: should I go to the police?

[Berner_Faith]

Originally Posted by Gary M

Hello,

What disadvantage would going to work put you under?

Cheers!

Gary

Reduced SS?

[Gary M]

Originally Posted by Berner_Faith

Reduced SS?

Indeed. And how is that a "disadvantage" ?

Cheers!

Gary

[billiechic]

going back to work is a GOOD idea! it will give you confidence and help yopu remember that you are a strong person and not under the control of someon else!

[Gary M]

Originally Posted by billiechic

going back to work is a GOOD idea! it will give you confidence and help yopu remember that you are a strong person and not under the control of someon else!

Can I get an "Amen!" people?

Cheers!

Gary

[ddol1]

Ok Gary I shall giv you an Amen! with the support of the OP who may have a head that is scrambled from "all of it". The faster you get back on it, get any help you need in fact, any support system that are there to be found, but in the end if you are able, the faster you get back into earning money the better it will be for your family. The courts will even out who is doing what and hopefully "things" will work themselves out but this will take a very long time. You need to be working now at making those changes in your life that will support your return to work now, and one day, self sufficiency. For you and for your boys.

[inseperationhell]

Get out and follow the advice...you must for your sake and your kids sake. I was in your shoes and I got out and am so much better for it.

The verbal abuse is continueing in my case in email and during exchanges however it is all being documented to his detriment. My kids are now involved with social workers and they are doing so well....My son will never think that the behavior he saw is appropriate.

Get employment, support yourself. We currently has 50/50 custody which is on shaky ground - the social workers do have concerns on his end...I am letting them call the shots and hoping he steps up to the plate with the kids. My ex was intentionally underemployed and I work full time in a well paying job. Because of his unwillingness to work and perpetual excuses, SS was denied and the offset CS amount was ordered based on an imputed income to him. He claimed that he could not possible work full time with 50% custody of the kids....laughable...how many single parents with 100 % custody manage full time work and do the juggle??? He got a very quick life lesson and has in the last couple of months began working more to make ends meet on his end.

The most important thing is to get out. I avoided shelters by finding very good supportive friends to help me out. Gave me a place to stay that no-one else, including the ex, knew where it was. It was not easy, but I am out now and life is 1000 times better.

Good luck.

[ddol1]

You are blessed to have the good friends that you, in the time of your great need - came through for you. Please take the time to express your gratitude to these caring people that are in your life - every day if you can.......

I remember that first night, actually it was sometime in the afternoon - but I managed to get to their country drive and I just parked the car....... I just sat there. I really do not know how long, but he walked down his long drive as I watched and I processed nothing aside from a person walking. They opened their home and hearts for that first most important night..... I will be forever indebted to those fine people.....

[inseperationhell]

I thank my friends everyday. My friend that opened their cottage to me to live in for months gets hugs from me whenever I see them. I will always be grateful and would do the same for anyone I know in the future. Yes forever indebted is right - My friends keep telling me that I owe them nothing but for them to see that I am out, have stayed out and begun a new life for myself....One day, when I am able, I will pay them back.