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tunnelight 07-30-2017 04:25 PM

Representing documents to OCL social worker
 
Hi all, Just wondering what is the best way to point out documents that are not in continuing record, or things in documents that are in the OCL's hands ? Is it a safe bet to take a binder with you ?

What about communications between the other parent and yourself that are not in continuing record ? The OCL case worker has mentioned they will go through them. In a tabbed binder I suppose is the best way to go about this?

What are your thoughts on providing the worker with a Word document that outlines my concerns ?

When meeting with the worker, is it okay to go through the document to point out your concerns as opposed to memorizing everything ?

There are a lot of details and issues in my case and I'm trying to represent them in the best way possible without causing confusion.

Thanks!

arabian 07-30-2017 04:48 PM

Do you have a parenting plan prepared or are you intending just to focus on all the bad things your ex has done?

tunnelight 07-30-2017 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arabian (Post 222541)
Do you have a parenting plan prepared or are you intending just to focus on all the bad things your ex has done?

Yes, I have a parenting plan prepared. This would be regarding decision making and time sharing. I will be mentioning positive things about myself (as well as any mistakes I may have made), my strengths and weaknesses as a parent, what I have done to reduce conflict and improve things, as well as pointing out things the other parent has done and/or is doing that were/are not child focused or in the best interests of the children (just like you are supposed to). I will also be referencing information which I have obtained from 3rd parties who have been involved with the family.

standing on the sidelines 07-30-2017 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tunnelight (Post 222542)
Yes, I have a parenting plan prepared. This would be regarding decision making and time sharing. I will be mentioning positive things about myself (as well as any mistakes I may have made), my strengths and weaknesses as a parent, what I have done to reduce conflict and improve things, as well as critisizing the other parent for things that they have done which were not child focused or in the best interests of the children. I will also be referencing information which I have obtained from 3rd parties who have been involved with the family.

I am not sure that I would criticize the other parent. Focus more on your strengths

tunnelight 07-30-2017 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines (Post 222543)
I am not sure that I would criticize the other parent. Focus more on your strengths

Just corrected that, didn't mean criticize exactly, but more so just pointing out concerns with things the other parent has done and/or is doing that were/are not child focused or in the best interests of the children. This would include things such as alienation, withholding information, unilateral decisions, and parenting time denials.

I had been advised that you have to voice out your concerns.. I have mentioned my strengths. Just to confirm, being involved with the children at their school, taking parenting courses, counselling, suggesting solutions, etc are strengths ? Would like to hear some specific examples of strengths just to make sure we are on the same page here.

arabian 07-30-2017 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tunnelight (Post 222544)
Just corrected that, didn't mean criticize exactly, but more so just pointing out concerns with things the other parent has done and/or is doing that were/are not child focused or in the best interests of the children. This would include things such as alienation, withholding information, unilateral decisions, and parenting time denials.

I had been advised that you have to voice out your concerns.. I have mentioned my strengths. Just to confirm, being involved with the children at their school, taking parenting courses, counselling, suggesting solutions, etc are strengths ? Would like to hear some specific examples of strengths just to make sure we are on the same page here.

perhaps you should specify exactly how you propose address these issues with examples

w.r.t. 3rd party statements - these are endorsements of your parenting skills which they have observed correct? (hearsay dirt on the other parent would be inadvisable and only show you to be high-conflict).

tunnelight 07-31-2017 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by arabian (Post 222545)
perhaps you should specify exactly how you propose address these issues with examples

w.r.t. 3rd party statements - these are endorsements of your parenting skills which they have observed correct? (hearsay dirt on the other parent would be inadvisable and only show you to be high-conflict).

Yes, absolutely. I'm only providing a high level generalized statement here. I am proposing shared parenting due to the alienation and joint custody due to information being withheld and unilateral decisions being made. I would be open to parallel parenting if joint custody can't work. If parallel parenting isn't an option either then I would be going for sole. Not looking to eliminate the other parents involvement and would still involve them in the decisions as they are the other parent and should be involved.

w.r.t 3rd parties, yes , depends who it is. The school and CAS have seen me interact with child and have positive things to say. Daycare provider has made false allegations to CAS about me and has said they don't wish to see me when CAS allegations were turned back on them, have verbally attacked me in presence of the child, insulted and disrespected me, and involved themself in our case being enlisted by other parent in her alienation efforts and seem to be an ally of the other parent at this time. So I am not sure what daycare would say. The teachers have noticed odd behaviors and witnessed concerning comments made by our child. Exchange center we were using noticed child would say they didn't like me before exchanges and then make complete opposite comments when other parent was gone.

My comments about other parent on merely based on documented incidents and action, messages I have received from them in writing and things I have witnessed, observed in their presence or things I have been told from our child which I feel are important to share with the social worker.

Still looking to understand how to best present these things without causing confusion given the details and the number of different incidents. I guess I should mention other parent presently has sole custody, and I'm in the process of changing that to joint, or reversing it.

vocalfather 07-31-2017 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tunnelight (Post 222539)
Hi all, Just wondering what is the best way to point out documents that are not in continuing record, or things in documents that are in the OCL's hands ? Is it a safe bet to take a binder with you ?

What about communications between the other parent and yourself that are not in continuing record ? The OCL case worker has mentioned they will go through them. In a tabbed binder I suppose is the best way to go about this?

What are your thoughts on providing the worker with a Word document that outlines my concerns ?

When meeting with the worker, is it okay to go through the document to point out your concerns as opposed to memorizing everything ?

There are a lot of details and issues in my case and I'm trying to represent them in the best way possible without causing confusion.

Thanks!


I find each OCL worker does something different. Ours refused to receive any documents directly from either party. Everything had to be filed as an exhibit and/or be in the court file. I've also heard otherwise. In your initial conversation, ask what is the best way for you to exchange information to them. They should be pretty forthright immediately with what they are prepared to do.


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