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  #31 (permalink)  
Old 05-22-2010, 12:29 PM
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mom2three is on a distinguished road

I just want to say to DTTE that I have great respect for you being able to "live" throughout this trying situation. To keep your head high, to keep your wits about you, etc., speaks well for your character and your intentions (best interests of the child).

I hope more parents read this post for the sake of the children.

Keep doing what you are doing - you truly are an inspiration!!!
  #32 (permalink)  
Old 05-22-2010, 12:40 PM
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 639
LostFather is on a distinguished road

Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
Was that at trial, or at a conference?
It was at trial, this person spent many hours, and over approx 3-4 visits at each home observing our children, she talked me and to my wife and she watched the interaction my children had with my wife and her son as well. And goes without saying she extensively interview me as well.

This of course was a high conflict case, but when the OCL investigator visited the kids school she interviewed the principle. She said that when it comes to the children and major decisions we are in agreement. The OCL recommended the Joint custody and equal access with parallel parenting. My lawyer provided a 2-3 case laws. The Judge completely ignored this, didn't even mention the case law that was introduced and why he disagreed with it. In fact, he didn't even say that he disagreed with the case law. The judge said the OCL report or recommendations were "overly optimistic". It was also the same with our objections to the admissibility of evidence and his consideration of that evidence under 24(3) of the Children's Law Reform Act. He did not mention our objection in his decision.

Further, his decision was released on Dec 23, 2009. With regards to Christmas access, it was retroactive, stating that I was to have the children from when they get out of school to Christmas Day. My lawyer rec'd his decision and contacted me in the early afternoon Christmas eve. So technically I would be allow to have my children after work Christmas eve to Christmas day! Because my ex has had the children since they got out of school, a week earlier!

Oh, he also called my wife my sister! Now this may not mean much, but I think that my wife's evidence as been my sister (time spent with the children and everyday interaction) as opposed to my wife would be totally different, I wouldn't be living with my sister and presumably she would have her own life, as my wife of course would have daily interaction and play a huge part in my children's lives, as we do everything as a family.

One other thing that comes to mind right now is at trial, we entered a calendar, that showed when we had extra time with the children, when my ex would go away for business or personal, ie vacations. I had them over night some were extra weekends, some were for the week and so on. Anyway , it tallied to around 43% of the whole calendar year of 2008. The judge characterized this time as 'some contact' in his decision. We brought this up, because of CS support issues, we both have jobs, mom makes approx 15K a year more than I, so no need for CS or at least reduced taking in the percentages....nope!

Oh, and since we brought up the issue of the calander prior to trial, she now takes them to hotels or leaves them with friends or coworkers overnight or multiple nights. My lawyer brought this up at trial, saying that the children have been spending more time with their father prior to it being brought up at a motion that I had the children for 45% (at the time of motion, turned out to be 43%) of the time, after that the children now stay in hotels and hotel staff look after the children, or your friends, that if I were to get the children, equal access you might lose your CS. Her reply "yeah, well, I've made sure that won't happen again" The judge did not mention this in his decision.

I've been looking up some case law, and on appeal, there seems to be some light at then end of the tunnel. This Judge erred, plain and simple, he rushed (i think drinking at the time) to get this decision out and basically went with status quo with some fancy wording and a few stupid reason not to allow joint custody and equal access.

On last thing, as far as far as equal access, it would mean that I would get my children one more over night a week than what I already have now. So I have the kids a mid week over night and every second weekend, so what's the big deal for the other side or the judge for that matter to allow that, the only thing I can see it the $$$$$$. The OCL testified of a number of reason for the children that it would be good. They had no reasons as to why it would have a negative impact on the children, so then why?? This is all about money and has nothing to do with what's good for the children! I still have to maintain a roof over their heads, feed and cloth my children, provide the essentials and necessities.

So, sorry for the long answer, I know your question deserved a shorter answer but once I get started, all the crap/frustrations come out.
  #33 (permalink)  
Old 05-22-2010, 12:51 PM
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Location: Toronto
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dadtotheend will become famous soon enoughdadtotheend will become famous soon enough

That sucks. You got screwed it seems and appear to be on the of the 20% where the recommendations aren't followed.

Another cash grab by a greedy ex.
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