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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2007, 07:10 PM
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My settlement conference has been completed. He signed over sole custody and supervised visitation.

The judge explained to my ex that if I offered him anything else it would have been irresponsible of me.

I'm sure if your ex is not co-operative, it will be noted in the OCL report. It was in my report.

Let us know how it goes.

mominont
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 09-11-2007, 10:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mominont
The judge explained to my ex that if I offered him anything else it would have been irresponsible of me.

mominont
When you say "anything else" does that mean more or less restrictive custody/access? Sole custody to you and supervised visits to him is probably not what he had in mind at the outset of all this.

Was that settlement conference pretty pressure packed?

How strongly in favour of you was the OCL report?

Was the judge strongly influenced by it?
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 09-12-2007, 02:53 PM
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My ex wanted Joint Custody with Shared 50/50 access.

My understanding is that the judge believed it was in our daughters best for him to have supervised visitation. The judge also agreed with sole custody. My ex has documented mental health issues, he doesn't take medication.

The OCL report recognized that dad and daughter did have a bond, but not in a child/parent capacity - like a great playmate. It was also noted that he wasn't co-operative with the OCL - maybe the judge used that to help determine that he probably wouldn't co-operate with me to make decisions that would affect our daughter. The OCL reported favored me with Sole custody and supervised access to dad.

Settlement conference wasn't "pressure packed". I thought it was much calmer of an atmosphere than our first conference. My stress level was high - no doubt.

Honestly we were on the "winning side" and my lawyer didn't have to speak much. I probably said more that what she did.

My ex gave access to the OCL to some of his medical records so we did have a dischage summary of his mental health issues, which had input from a bunch of qualified medical doctors, that was included in the OCL report.

The judge posed this question to my ex... Who is the judge to believe, the 5 medical doctors & social worker or my ex.

My lawyer said I was extremely LUCKY, lots of times judges don't read the material ahead of time and lots of time is spent going through those reports "on the fly" in the courtroom. The judge in my case had so much patience with my ex, that no other judge would have. We were there for about 2.5hrs our time slot was 1 hr, but the day before the earlier conference cancelled and we agreed to an earlier time slot.

I'm quite sure if it wasn't for our judge I wouldn't have the final order, however nothing in family law is ever "final" with change of circumstance.

keep me posted.

mominont
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 10-02-2007, 11:39 PM
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I've now have had a meeting with the investigator at her office, provided her with the releases for collateral sources and she has been to my home for an observation visit with the kids, which I thought went well. Of course, it is difficult to read the investigator.

Mom continues not to take either child to their preschool/school programs on Mondays and takes our youngest child out of her Friday preschool program.

We just scheduled an appointment for me to take the kids to the investigator's office. What can I expect at this visit?
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Old 10-09-2007, 01:02 AM
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I'm not entirely sure what will happen. My guess is that the person will probably do some role playing with them or get them to do some artwork. The person may also see how they handle being in new surroundings.

We had an office visit for my ex but he was late. 3 days after the time change he still hadn't changed his clocks back to the new time.

/mominont
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 11-07-2007, 11:33 PM
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Disclosure meeting coming in next two weeks. I'm confident but anxious.

As I understand it, my ex and her lawyer, myself and my lawyer and the clinicial investigator are present.

Are you allowed to bring anyone else (e.g. family member) in?
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 11-21-2007, 12:49 AM
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Disclosure meeting happened today. Sole custody for me recommended.

I am not only very relieved and satisfied by the recommendations, but also saddened by the extent of Mom's problems.
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 11-24-2007, 04:02 PM
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I'm sure your excited that the recommendations are in your favour. Its definalty a sigh of relief!

Do you have your next court appearance scheduled? In my settlement conference my ex agreed on consent to me having sole custody and him having supervised visitation.

mominont
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Old 11-24-2007, 04:11 PM
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We're booking the settlement conference now, but her lawyer is dragging on agreeing to a date (not surprising). They are booking dates into early February now.

Was the judge at all trying to pressure your ex into agreement at the settlement conference? I heard that if the other side doesn't agree that the judge will refer it to trial without trying to be too persuasive.
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 11-24-2007, 08:49 PM
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I got so very lucky!

The judge we had, her first afternoon appointment cancelled. The judge had so much patience with my ex, she persuaded my ex to agree. We were in court from 1-3:30. The judge talked to my ex for at least 45mins uninterrupted. My lawyer told me if I had any other judge we wouldn't have been so lucky and most likely would have left the settlement conference and be booking a motion.

I hope it goes just as easy for yourself, but definatly plan for the costs of a motion.

mominont
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