A "moral" question?

[Exquizique]

I’ve been helping someone with the settlement of their divorce which is fairly acrimonious involving unilateral denial of access to child, false criminal allegations and demands of above guidelines SS, among other quite outlandish demands.

Throughout the process, I’ve come across information (not hearsay) implicating the other party/ex-spouse in child neglect/potential abuse, tax fraud and health insurance fraud.

I don’t personally know said other party, and have no history or contact with this person. That said, I am completely and utterly disgusted by the myriad of reprehensible (and criminal) actions that have been perpetrated by this person while getting away scot-free with it all this while.

I am thinking about making reports to CAS, tax authorities and also the insurance provider. Should I? Or is this a situation where it’s really none of my business as a third party/bystander? What would YOU do if you were me?

[FamilyBlah]

If the welfare of the children is a legitimate concern then I am of the opinion that you MUST do something.

[standing on the sidelines]

if these concerns can be proven then why in the hell isnt the person involved reporting the child abuse/neglect??? As for the other stuff why isnt your friend reporting it????

[Exquizique]

Originally Posted by FamilyBlah

If the welfare of the children is a legitimate concern then I am of the opinion that you MUST do something.

On one hand i don't want to get embroiled, but on the other hand i'm concerned for the child ...

Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines

if these concerns can be proven then why in the hell isnt the person involved reporting the child abuse/neglect??? As for the other stuff why isnt your friend reporting it????

My friend's first lawyer did make a report to the CAS, and an investigation was carried out. However, CAS refuses to disclose the file so there is no idea of knowing where things are at with it. I was thinking that if they receive multiple reports from other parties expressing the same concerns, that it would provide a better "big picture" for the CAS and the investigation, as well as underline the seriousness of the situation.

As for the other matters, the entire process has been emotionally draining and debilitating for my friend. Settlement is close, and he doesn't want to rock the boat, especially after how the other party flew into a rage at being investigated by the CAS, blamed him for reporting it and jacked up their demands and unreasonable behaviour as "retaliation".

[standing on the sidelines]

Originally Posted by Exquizique

On one hand i don't want to get embroiled, but on the other hand i'm concerned for the child ...



My friend's first lawyer did make a report to the CAS, and an investigation was carried out. However, CAS refuses to disclose the file so there is no idea of knowing where things are at with it. I was thinking that if they receive multiple reports from other parties expressing the same concerns, that it would provide a better "big picture" for the CAS and the investigation, as well as underline the seriousness of the situation.

As for the other matters, the entire process has been emotionally draining and debilitating for my friend. Settlement is close, and he doesn't want to rock the boat, especially after how the other party flew into a rage at being investigated by the CAS, blamed him for reporting it and jacked up their demands and unreasonable behaviour as "retaliation".

then you do realize if you report anything the other party will blame your friend for reporting it even though it was you???

[FamilyBlah]

I am unclear as to why anything other than the welfare of the children is a concern. There is a reason why the system emphasizes "the best interests of the children." They should be everyone's #1 priority.

[Exquizique]

Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines

then you do realize if you report anything the other party will blame your friend for reporting it even though it was you???

Yep. Which is why my intention (if i decide to go ahead with it) is to wait for the settlement to go through, wait for the dust to settle a while, and then go to the relevant authorities with my reports. By that time hopefully i will also have convinced my friend that there's serious fraud going on and that reports should not be going forth from just me ...

Originally Posted by FamilyBlah

I am unclear as to why anything other than the welfare of the children is a concern. There is a reason why the system emphasizes "the best interests of the children." They should be everyone's #1 priority.

That's what the system emphasizes, but is that the case in reality? After everything i've learnt about the process so far, Family Law and the justice system in general is just a great big farce. I thank all the graces every morning i wake up that i don't have children going through this kind of nonsense ...

[FamilyBlah]

Originally Posted by Exquizique

That's what the system emphasizes, but is that the case in reality? After everything i've learnt about the process so far, Family Law and the justice system in general is just a great big farce. I thank all the graces every morning i wake up that i don't have children going through this kind of nonsense ...

I agree. However, the Family Law system is not the issue here. If the safety of the children has been legitimately compromised then you are obligated to do something about that, in my opinion. I am unsure but that may also be the opinion of the court.

[neverending]

the children should be the #1 focus - regardless of the "system" perhaps the children are screaming inside for someone to do something for them.. what a horrible experience for them to be living.

[Exquizique]

Yes, i completely agree. The saftey and wellbeing of children should be placed first and foremost and any and every possible measure should be taken to ensure that that's not compromised. Herein lies my "dilemma": I am outraged, yes. I feel that something MUST be done, yes. However, i am a third party to this, and am further digusted by the collusion and apathy and other direct/indirect actions carried out or not carried out by various parties to ALLOW this individual to continue this way. If a parent pleading for something to be done can't even effect any kind of action or change on their part from the relevant authorities ... am i even going to make any kind of difference???

Like i said, i'm morally disgusted and want something to be done, but it's not my life after all (not intending to be "cold" about this at all) and if putting in that much effort is going to be for nothing anyways, well, do i even want to get embroiled?