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Old 10-13-2016, 10:24 PM
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Default Are men going MGTOW after divorce?

Gentlemen, I'm curious as to where you are post divorce.

I've recently been exposed to a lot of MGTOW content (men going their own way, just google and youtube it)

Has your faith in women returned, or have you sworn off anything serious based on your post divorce experience?

Reply below and say as little or as much as you want.

Personally I'm on the fence, I yearn for a true love, but the wounds from divorce, women and family law (I was stuck in the matrimonial home for over a year separated) remind me every day that I was barely stronger than what tried to kill me.
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Old 10-13-2016, 10:32 PM
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No Marriage ever again.....one time was enough

GF has own home.....works for both of us

Co-habitation would be accompanied by a ton of legal paper to protect both parties.....going to keep my house this time
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Old 10-13-2016, 11:06 PM
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I look at it from the other side. I figure as long as I'm a rational, stable, loyal and considerate woman and there are men complaining that we don't exist, there must therefore still be men worth getting to know as well. I just don't personally have sufficient time to devote to screening them from the chaff.

I certainly agree with the ton of legal paperwork to protect myself before entering into any future arrangements with anyone. If the guy isn't understanding about it, well, that screens him out, doesn't it?
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Old 10-14-2016, 01:03 AM
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I think being in a long lasting loving relationship is important and brings a lot of benefits.

I think there are things you can do to protect yourself and you shouldn't compromise your security (financial , physical nor mental) in order to be in a relationship.

In Quebec you can live with a person and she would have no rights over you as long as you don't sign the civil marriage documents.

In the rest of Canada you have to be more creative and not live with them etc....

I think as long as you don't fall in those traps (children, loco parentis, residency etc....) you should be open to what happens. Heck, I'd even get with my own ex because she pretty much has no more leverage on me and now that she works she won't be sitting home on facebook....(or if she does at work idc she'd be getting paid for it).

I don't think men believe there are "no good women" out there but I think it's more like there are no "Good quality women" = good looking + all the other stuff.... There are enough single women around but below my standards or they want me to have kids with them.... Being a bachelor is very cool, I worry I may never get redomesticated...
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Old 10-14-2016, 03:38 AM
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Gone are the days of endless laundry, poking blackheads from ex's back and all the shit and verbal abuse. In 30 years my ex never did laundry (maybe 1 x) and certainly never cleaned out the fridge or the oven. I never saw him on his hands and knees washing a floor. He didn't know how to work a washing machine a vaccum or a dishwasher. He could stand over a bbq and look the part but one had to watch the steaks carefully on the grill. Mr. Charming used to say that he contributed to the household chores by hosing out the garage (with the use of the power vac hooked up to the hot water). He would take the garbage to the curb. When his large Ukrainian family came 6 times x year I cooked for weeks preparing. I don't recall him ever helping out. When we had company he would put on a nice show of collecting plates and bringing them into the kitchen. At Christmastime I shopped for all of his family's gifts as well as our own.

I was a slave. I am much better off now, alone. I embrace my singleness as well as cleaning up my own mess. I can read a book at night in bed. I don't have to listen to his snoring. Bathroom is the way I left it - clean. I buy what I enjoy eating. There is no headcheese in my refrigerator. I could go on and on.

I would be pleasantly surprised if I were to meet a man to spend time with who isn't secretly looking for a nursemaid or domestic slave. I have met many men with bags of money but they peer at me through their coke-bottle-bottom glasses and complain about their diabetes. NO THANK YOU.

My only complaint about being single is a cat who sleeps with me and tracks kitty litter in the bed. A very small inconvenience.
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Old 10-14-2016, 08:08 AM
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My partner wont get married again which is fine by me. He said he was struggling alone due to lack of companionship. We have an equal amount of equity (him a house, me investments). He struggles a great deal with the demons from his ex wife but we work together and give each other space when necessary. Some people just arent meant to be together. I like to think divorced people can still find happiness. You just have to remember to protect yourself.
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Old 10-14-2016, 09:50 AM
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I was grateful enough to find somebody who is the complete polar opposite of my ex. I'm one of those guys who doesn't mind doing the laundry. If she cooks, I do the dishes...but I'm usually the one cooking because I love it. I give nightly foot rubs, would rather stay home and cuddle than go out with my friends, etc. I felt like I had so many good qualities that my ex failed to see .. or did see but would rather plan and scheme stuff behind my back for whatever reason.

I know now that other's "do" appreciate me and I'm very careful not to generalize my ex's behaviors to all women. My g/f can't believe she let me go .. she just doesn't understand .. neither have I for the longest time. I still think it was a nervous break of sorts as she's tried to get me back on several different occasions.

The scariest part is I don't think she even comprehends the magnitude of shit she put my family and I through with the abduction, the allegations, etc....for no reason .. or only reasons she knows deep in her unconscious, cognitive faculties.

I've never been married although I still want to. I want to feel that moment where all your friends and family are gathered together for that special moment. I'm cursed with being a romantic (that a curse? lol)

I just realize now that I have to be careful and watch for warning signs.
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Old 10-14-2016, 09:55 AM
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@Links......

1. Seriously though, you will get back with your ex? If she is reading this now, you just gave her a reason to think you are NOT over her, unless of course you are talking about hitting it / booty calls' with no strings attached?

2. Indeed, "good women" is subjective and it's the quality that really counts. I have been divorced for 4yrs, and 90% of the women I have dated haven't had anything good to say about their ex, and all the blame has been on the ex. This usually raises a yellow flag

3. Yes being a bachelor is cool, especially if you have damn good professional job, not bad looking and only 1 kid on 50/50 and you are very involved.

Women love this, and whilst they are still jaded, try to indulge in head games. I refuse to get drawn into head games, especially when they have 2-3 kids and not especially a professional career.

I am big on mutual respect and communication.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
I think being in a long lasting loving relationship is important and brings a lot of benefits.

I think there are things you can do to protect yourself and you shouldn't compromise your security (financial , physical nor mental) in order to be in a relationship.

In Quebec you can live with a person and she would have no rights over you as long as you don't sign the civil marriage documents.

In the rest of Canada you have to be more creative and not live with them etc....

I think as long as you don't fall in those traps (children, loco parentis, residency etc....) you should be open to what happens. Heck, I'd even get with my own ex because she pretty much has no more leverage on me and now that she works she won't be sitting home on facebook....(or if she does at work idc she'd be getting paid for it).

I don't think men believe there are "no good women" out there but I think it's more like there are no "Good quality women" = good looking + all the other stuff.... There are enough single women around but below my standards or they want me to have kids with them.... Being a bachelor is very cool, I worry I may never get redomesticated...
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Old 10-14-2016, 12:05 PM
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@hopeful

Its pretty much always no strings attached - I am not investing anything in any relationship more than the other party at any point a relationship terminates I will never be on the "giving" end....

"The door is over there, don't let it hit you in the ass"

My ex doesn't know how to read.... she thinks the internet is facebook.
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Old 10-14-2016, 03:31 PM
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I find that when man says that there are no "good quality women" out there, I think "well, the common element in all these situations is you - maybe you just don't have what it takes to attract self-sufficient, confident, happy women?". If a man complains that the only women he meets are below his standards, that says more about him and the women he gravitates to than about single women in general. I know plenty of single women who are great catches - independent, educated, affectionate, good-looking, smart - but they're usually holding out for the boyfriend/partner/spouse with long-term potential, not interested in just having a FWB/booty call for its own sake.

I don't think it's a matter of having "faith in women" (or "faith in men"): both genders contain wonderful people as well as awful ones.
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