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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 10-22-2014, 07:08 PM
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OP, I've merged your two threads (hopefully, successfully).
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 10-22-2014, 07:26 PM
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mcdreamy im new here. I dont understand. reading the rest of the contributions next. im feeling pretty sick about what i thought was a respected good friend.
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Old 10-23-2014, 09:19 AM
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His entire life and a very large part of identity is in the process of being attacked and destroyed. You will see a lot of changes in your friend, most likely.

Offer support but keep your distance. This is much bigger than you think, and the divorce process will probably last several years. If he survives that, he will have to figure out how to pick up the pieces of his life and start all over again.

When mine hit my entire adult life was rebooted. I was back to living in someone's basement, living off minimum wage. I lost every penny, every stick of furniture, the big house, the car, most of my time with my son and a large portion of my sanity. The only thing I had left was my job, my family and looking forward to time with my son. I was also lucky enough to meet someone new who was also going through the same thing and we supported each other... without getting too involved in each other's divorces.
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Old 10-23-2014, 05:39 PM
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His entire life and a very large part of identity is in the process of being attacked and destroyed. You will see a lot of changes in your friend, most likely.
Divorce is one of those major life complications that often reveals someone's true character. You'll see people in divorce who are fair despite whatever the other party does...and you'll see those who get as nasty just to cause as much havoc as possible. You'll even see 3rd parties to the actual spouses getting involved in their divorce proceedings just to make the situation even worse.

In time of high stress, people resort to their base nature. It isn't unusual to see sides of people you weren't exposed to before.

If you really want to see how nasty people can be, go talk to a Estate Attorney who deals with Wills and Trusts. I would argue that the stuff that goes on between greedy relatives after people die would rival some of the nastiest divorce cases.

I think you should consider it fortunate that you figured out what kind of person this guy is...now you can eliminate him from your life before he turns on you like a pitbull at some inopportune moment.
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