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Old 04-09-2012, 02:03 PM
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My son has his father's last name. I was not married to EX so I have had my last name all my life. Lol, I'd love to change it - to almost anything else - but now is not the time to deal with what seems like a frivolous matter - compared to others I have. As much as I'm not overly fond of my last name - had I been married to ex's father - I'd go back to my maiden name. But I find most ppl, just keep their married name as having to change SO many pcs of I.D. seems like a huge pain in the butt.
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Old 04-09-2012, 02:09 PM
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In Quebec the women retain their mainden name when they marry. It makes things so much easier. It is also very easy for women to go back to their maiden names here, as their b/c remains the same, SIN remains the same. When I took back my maiden name I went to the kiosk here and it's like one stop shopping, everything was done there in no time.
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Old 04-09-2012, 02:26 PM
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Very logical and damn handy, I'd say. With the divorce rate so high, I'm surprised it's not more common to do it this way.
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Old 04-09-2012, 02:56 PM
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In Quebec the women retain their mainden name when they marry. It makes things so much easier. It is also very easy for women to go back to their maiden names here, as their b/c remains the same, SIN remains the same. When I took back my maiden name I went to the kiosk here and it's like one stop shopping, everything was done there in no time.
Quebec gets this one right for sure. But, it does it extend to the children's identification with the government? They have the parents covered but, does their birth certificate start from the perspective of the mother or does it start with the "parents"?

Parent is a very different term today in 2012. It could mean two males, two females and the traditional male and female relationship.

"Responsible Parent(s)" should be identified at birth in my honest opinion. This should be limited to any two people who agree to society to be responsible for the child in question. This doesn't have to be the "biological parents" in my opinion either.

These are the two people that society expects to meet (or exceed) the "best interests of the child". This should be established at birth and continue, unless otherwise proven beyond reasonable doubt, that these two people will be expected to equally be involved in the child in question's life. Those two people identifying themselves as the "responsible parents" should have to, just like a marriage contract, take on a contract with society, government and each other and understand what is involved in meeting that child's "best interests".

The "best interests of the child" needs to be identified to the "responsible parents" at birth and it should be determined at birth that these people are capable of doing so. If either should fail over the course of the child in question's life to meet those "best interests" then the "responsible parent(s)" status should change.

Marriage, divorce, separation, cohabitation, and all the other "stuff" that comes with adult relationships should not impact the child's "best interests".

Separation and divorce of the "responsible parents" should not dramatically impact the relationship either responsible parent's -- RESPONSIBILITY -- to the child in question.

Trying to determine if either responsible parent is meeting the child's needs (or best interests) after the fact the adult relationship has broken down is too late.

Children are our most important asset as a society. Not to sound cheesy but, the children are our future. We as a society need to invest in our future and the children who will come after us. Right now, we don't do a very good job of this as a society.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 04-09-2012, 03:05 PM
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That is a very insightful and progressive idea. I'd vote for that! Our society "assumes" far too much. Serious matters need to be more contractual. Circumstances change all the time - and a more structured approach from the outset would minimize a lot of the (potential) problems that may/do arise down the road. Not all of them.. But a lot of them.

BIG typo in my above post! Said if I'd "been married to EX's father" - Meant my SON's Father. What an awful Freudian (sp?) Slip - his father is an obnoxious troll of a man - I don't know which of the two (ex or his dad) is worse. Brrrrr. That gave me a chill

Last edited by hadenough; 04-09-2012 at 03:37 PM. Reason: noticed big mistake in my previous post
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Old 04-09-2012, 04:33 PM
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I kept my exes surname for a bit but was going to change it back to my maiden name until I met someone and got remarried. My daughter has now assumed a hyphenated name. Her birth certificate has not changed nor any legal documents but the school allows for a "name preferred to be called" & she has assumed her new hyphenated name. I have also been able to enroll her in camps, sports and programs with her assumed name


You could change yours back and hyphenate your kids names to reflect yours. You don't need permission for this as is is being assumed not legally changed for the kids.
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Old 04-09-2012, 06:35 PM
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It also comes down to whether the other party wants you to not use his name, especially when they are remarried and the new wife insist you stop using his last name!

I am having difficulty "legally reversing my married name to my maiden name" as when we married I legally applied to take his name and at the Registrar's office they changed my maiden name to my married name on my "birth certificate" although I surely wasn't born with my married name! It's been over a year and they have sent me three different incorrect birth certificate with the last one with my "first name removed". I have sent the correct forms "Election to Resume Former Surname" with the $25 fee, only for the documents to be returned stating they need the original birth certificate showing the correct name, my maiden name which I do NOT have. Should they not have record of this at the Registrar's Office in Thunder Bay, ON?
Does anyone know where else I can obtain a "birth certificate" issued at birth?
as the ex and his wife have sent endless emails to me, the children, members of my family insisting I change my last name which I am desperately trying to do without success.
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Old 04-09-2012, 07:00 PM
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I have no idea how they'd have made such a mistake, however te ex nor his new wife has any right to demand you change your name nor can they legally require you to do so. Tell them to go pound sand.
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Old 04-10-2012, 08:17 AM
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Originally Posted by TLCRN View Post
It also comes down to whether the other party wants you to not use his name, especially when they are remarried and the new wife insist you stop using his last name!

I am having difficulty "legally reversing my married name to my maiden name" as when we married I legally applied to take his name and at the Registrar's office they changed my maiden name to my married name on my "birth certificate" although I surely wasn't born with my married name! It's been over a year and they have sent me three different incorrect birth certificate with the last one with my "first name removed". I have sent the correct forms "Election to Resume Former Surname" with the $25 fee, only for the documents to be returned stating they need the original birth certificate showing the correct name, my maiden name which I do NOT have. Should they not have record of this at the Registrar's Office in Thunder Bay, ON?
Does anyone know where else I can obtain a "birth certificate" issued at birth?
as the ex and his wife have sent endless emails to me, the children, members of my family insisting I change my last name which I am desperately trying to do without success.
The place you were born (i.e. Hospital) may still maintain the record. Depending on the time (year) you were born the original birth record could still be there. Furthermore, you can rely on your birth parent's document's to establish your last name for the purposes of your birth records.

As well, if the clinician who delivered you is still alive you can get a professional testimony of your birth and that the issued record is incorrect.

The problem you face is that you are dealing with a clerical error on your birth certificate. You can still change your name to "moonbeam raygun" if you want without it being reflected on your birth certificate. Most solicitors can execute the documents for you for a small fee and clean up the birth certificate issue.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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