It's over with

[dadforlife]

Finaly after 2 1/2 years of Motions, Conferences, bickering, bitching, false charges, emotional ups and downs, parental alienation, a web site with loads of information and opinions, conselling, close to $20,000 in financial aid from family to barely get by on and self representing, My children can finaly go on with their lives without having this hurricane size cloud hovering over their heads. With the help of family, friends and a seriouse personal wake up call ,I have been or I should say my children have been granted 50/50 shared and physical custody, my original request to the Court.

I also realise that more children would have their fathers in their lives if it were not for this money driven, divisive, at times unjust and still in some instences totaly against the beleif that fathers are just as caring, nurturing and maternaly inclined to care for their children as mothers, Family law System.

Shame on the Family law system and those parents who place their own personal agendas and gratifications over that of their own children... SHAME

Now on to better things.

Al

[Exquizique]

Very happy for you!!! Here's to better days ahead!

[wretchedotis]

Congrats!

But maybe not a good idea to start thinking you're free and clear.
From my experience - it never ends....

[Pursuinghappiness]

dadforlife:

Congratulations at ending your divorce action with a favorable outcome.

As a woman who's at the receiving end of an unreasonable, bitter, angry stbx seeking to perpetuate the most expensive, lengthy, traumatizing divorce process possible...please do not assume that all the blame falls on one gender. It was my stbx husband who requested sole custody and its female me that has to fight for my right to my children in court...just like you did.

Whenever you get someone who is self-absorbed, greedy and unbalanced, you can expect that family law will enable and perpetuate their nonsense. Its not gender specific. Please do not tell me that you think all men are reasonable in divorce and all women are not...that is absolute misogynstic nonsense and completely false. I get really tired of these false gender presumptions.

[beebie]

Aren't the courts moving toward shared parenting as the norm? Or is this wishful thinking? Thought there was some Bill C-422 before Parliament.

[ambushed]

Please don't assume that shared custody is the best scenario. It does not work if the parents are not amicable. It means nothing once the court order is filed. It is extremely difficult on the children who don't feel they belong anywhere and who feel they have to "please" both parents.

PursuingHappiness- I so agree with you. I am a woman who has gone through absolute hell in her divorce and continue to struggle after six years - parental alienation, financial & emotional abuse, etc. My ex literally kidnapped my daughter from me and there is nothing I can do about it unless I want to spend thousands of dollars disputing his claims of abuse. She is 16 now so the lawyer says there is no point - she can live where she wants. All I can do is wait until she is an adult and has had her own life experiences and hope that she can finally understand the reality of divorce.

DadForLife - don't assume it is over. It will not end until your kids are adults and on their own - and then some! Your court order means nothing unless you are willing to fight through lawyers every time she doesn't do what she's supposed to. I will go so far as saying that it's only the beginning! Sorry to burst your bubble but it's unlikely that things will go smoothly from here.

[billm]

Originally Posted by ambushed

Please don't assume that shared custody is the best scenario. It does not work if the parents are not amicable. It means nothing once the court order is filed. It is extremely difficult on the children who don't feel they belong anywhere and who feel they have to "please" both parents.

...

The point is that shared parenting should be enforced unless it can be proven that it is not in the best interests of the children.

Kinda like innocent unless proven guilty.

From your other post "ambushed", your daughter was 15 when she decided she did not want to live with you - calling it 'kidnapping' is nonsense. Also from your previous post, your financial situation is not your ex's fault. It seems to me that you want to blame it all on him, but from what you said in your posts, its time you take responsibility for where you are in life and your relationship with your daughter.

[mcdreamy]

Congratulations!

I'm an optimist. Always my downfall. But hope this turns things around and your kids settle in to an established routine.

Pursuit is quite correct, alienation is not gender specific, it's alway the parents, dad or mom, who can't get a grip.

Billm ..don't underestimate the power and whimsical needs of a teenage girl. They are an entity unto themselves.

Good luck dadforlife, and have fun enjoying your kids.

[billm]

Originally Posted by mcdreamy

...
Billm ..don't underestimate the power and whimsical needs of a teenage girl. They are an entity unto themselves.

...

Got two of them!

[mcdreamy]

Originally Posted by billm

Got two of them!

Aha , we should start a separate thread on how to deal..I could slit my wrists some days.
Oo..was that dramatic? Not dramatic enough!