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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 02-21-2015, 06:30 PM
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Originally Posted by ringettteplayer View Post
Ok sooo my siginifcant other has 2 adult children 18&22
His ex wife emails or texts him occassionally for money.
I suggested he change his phone# and email so she couldnt bother him.
He responded with "nah i don't see the benefit of doing that!"

My inner freak is freaking out! Should i just pour some wine on my freak or is the red flag a wavin??
Sounds to me like he's doing proper cost/benefit analysis. If she only asks for money occasionally, it's probably not worth the hassle to him of changing all his contact info and notifying everybody else he knows just to avoid the occasional phone call from his ex. Especially when she'd probably get his new contact info fairly easily.

I think the real question is, does he say no, or does he give her money now and then? Is it for the benefit of the kids? He may still have a CS obligation if they are attending school and still living with his ex, despite their ages. Even if they are not in school, but just mooching off their mom, I think he's being a kind and generous parent to help out. If he recognizes that the cost of their failure to launch is landing solely on the ex, I think it's admirable that he helps out a little.

I think I'd examine why you are having a little freak out. Is it because you want him all to yourself?
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 02-21-2015, 08:53 PM
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stripes is on a distinguished road


This sounds like a non-problem to me. If your husband isn't bothered by it, and it's not interfering in your life because it's infrequent, why shouldn't his ex (and the mother of his kids) know his phone number? This doesn't sound w(h)ine-worthy.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 02-23-2015, 10:48 AM
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ringettteplayer is on a distinguished road

Aww thx everyone for your input! You're right sometimes this chick just gets her feathers all ruffled over stooopid shyte! i just get all worried about the whole love thing sometimes n don't want to be burned again, however i shouldn't look for shit until i actually know its there!!
I appreciate you all calming my nerves!
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 02-23-2015, 10:53 AM
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I get upset over this crap too. Its hard NOT to. But I just keep reminding myself this is his problem and as long as its not impacting our relationship then its not worth stressing over. We give ourselves "vent moments" where we both say what we feel during the situation thats happening. For instance during my vent moment I will tell him how unfair something is and how he deserves to be treated better. He will listen and do what he wants with what Ive said.

Its not easy being the partner of a divorced person but it works if you dont let their past control YOUR future.
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 02-23-2015, 11:13 AM
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ringettteplayer is on a distinguished road

Very true rockscan,thx!!
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 02-23-2015, 11:26 AM
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shirley1011 is on a distinguished road

So true rockscan...I am a 40 year veteran of a partner to a divorced person and I'm a survivor! You are always involved because of the children even when they become adults. We can now be in the same room with his X...did I mention she has alzeheimers....Karma's a bitch
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