Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > General Chat

General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #101 (permalink)  
Old 09-06-2011, 07:50 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,241
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
As much as I sense the sarcasm and jest of it, and do appreciate it....but we're talking punative damages, not spousal support. We have no fault in Canada (for better or worse).

And her case would be in civil court, where she would have to argue that the abuse caused her financial loss and then prove that loss. It would be an uphill argument picking numbers out of the sky as she will almost inevitably have some rediculous number, unrealistic for anyone but her to believe.
plus then the person would have to prove the assault, provide police reports to show it was reported, justify why they stayed and all the fun stuff. To me the best revenge is living life well.
  #102 (permalink)  
Old 09-07-2011, 12:42 AM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 41
distraught is on a distinguished road
Default

I joined this forum after reading quite a few posts and I genuinely started it to vent my anger. I got pissed off at the insulting comments and I was glad for the informative and helpful one's. It seems this thread keeps getting reply's, and I do read all of them, I have learned a few things, my anger is mine to deal with, if he wasn't honest with the division of certain things, there is nothing that at this point I can do, I will always look out for my kids and can hopefully help them if need be. i do not talk to my ex, I haven't in over a year, I think I am having a hard time getting over certain things but then after reading all this I guess I I need to get over it, forget about it, and yes live a life that I never had
It will be 4 years this January, it's time to get over it. I did take all that was posted here to heart even the nasty comments that were hurtful, but we are all just faceless people sitting behind computers dealing with all this bull the best we all can. I am glad for those of you that have moved on and have dealt with your issues. I do wish you all of you the best and hope that everything works out the way you hope it will. I guess I screwed up signing everything, accepting all his changes and agreeing, but reality is I did and know I have to live with it and move on. My kids will be okay , as someone said they are getting their education so they will excel in life, they are fortunate. If they do in the future need help in areas that I cant help them with then they can go their father themselves if the need to.Honestly I am sick of the burden that I put on myself with my kids, the anger, and wanting some type of payback for what he did. It doesn't matter anymore. What matters is we are happy now.
  #103 (permalink)  
Old 09-07-2011, 07:39 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,241
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by distraught View Post
I joined this forum after reading quite a few posts and I genuinely started it to vent my anger. I got pissed off at the insulting comments and I was glad for the informative and helpful one's. It seems this thread keeps getting reply's, and I do read all of them, I have learned a few things, my anger is mine to deal with, if he wasn't honest with the division of certain things, there is nothing that at this point I can do, I will always look out for my kids and can hopefully help them if need be. i do not talk to my ex, I haven't in over a year, I think I am having a hard time getting over certain things but then after reading all this I guess I I need to get over it, forget about it, and yes live a life that I never had
It will be 4 years this January, it's time to get over it. I did take all that was posted here to heart even the nasty comments that were hurtful, but we are all just faceless people sitting behind computers dealing with all this bull the best we all can. I am glad for those of you that have moved on and have dealt with your issues. I do wish you all of you the best and hope that everything works out the way you hope it will. I guess I screwed up signing everything, accepting all his changes and agreeing, but reality is I did and know I have to live with it and move on. My kids will be okay , as someone said they are getting their education so they will excel in life, they are fortunate. If they do in the future need help in areas that I cant help them with then they can go their father themselves if the need to.Honestly I am sick of the burden that I put on myself with my kids, the anger, and wanting some type of payback for what he did. It doesn't matter anymore. What matters is we are happy now.
Let the healing begin, you are on your way.
  #104 (permalink)  
Old 09-07-2011, 03:35 PM
dadtotheend's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,644
dadtotheend will become famous soon enoughdadtotheend will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by distraught View Post
first timer, I can't thank you enough for that information!!
....until first timer disagrees with you at which point you will turn just like you did with others in this thread.

You don't have any idea how many people exactly like you have come here before and refused to take good advice about their situation do you? Rather, you go on the attack when people tell you what time it is, and furthermore you claim that they are attacking you.

This violin has played itself out before...many times...people like you come and go here all the time....you're not unique.

You are pissed because your ex makes great money and you think that he should carry the financial cross for a lot longer than the law (and most of the rest of us) thinks he should.

You refuse to accept that at some point your kids must be responsible for themselves, especially when the pot of gold in which you participated at one point is no longer in your available for dipping into.

Good luck to you. You need it.
  #105 (permalink)  
Old 09-07-2011, 05:04 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 41
distraught is on a distinguished road
Default

honestly? It doesn't matter to me who agrees or disagrees with me. I don't care how many people have come and gone,I hope for those people that things worked out for them which ever way they wanted it to. I am far from unique nor did I ever claim I was in any way. Am I pissed at the money issue? yes and no, he had money when we were together and so did I and I am still comfortable for a while anyway. I am happy that I have started my own company, I love doing what I do and I am free of ridicule and abuse. As for my children, indeed they will be okay and as I stated in the above post they can go to him if need be.I appreciate all the comment here good and bad, I have felt sorry for myself for years having to put up with his crap, I don't have to anymore and maybe those harsh comments made me see that. I know what I went through and I know what I decide to put myself through I don't need to live in self pity anymore, that's exactly what I was and still at times do, but I will work on that and I will get past it. I left for a reason and I am glad I did more then any of you know. When his obligation is done then it's done, I have time to establish myself and plan ahead and that is my intention. At the end of the day I am just a name on a computer as are all of you, we don't impact each others lives in anyway, we may take some good advice and learn things but other then that when we shut off our computer or log off this forum we all deal with what we have to. Thanks for wishing me good luck I wish you the same in all your en-devours.
  #106 (permalink)  
Old 09-07-2011, 05:09 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 41
distraught is on a distinguished road
Default

LOL!! how about I try to just get off them, that might have been better advice.
  #107 (permalink)  
Old 09-28-2011, 09:58 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,962
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

I totally understand your anxiety HOWEVER in reading your blog you come across as quite literate. After 30 yr marriage I filed for divorce. It was a huge life-changing decision. Financially it has been a real eye-opener for both me and my 30 yr old son who still lives at home! My advice to you is to get your kids out on their own as soon as possible - don't coddle them like I did. Does them no good at all. My x makes big money as well and he hasn't helped our son out one bit. Thems is the breaks I guess. Move on and some day get off those frigging pills. You have to learn how to face reality and anti-depressants aren't the answer. Good luck and remember the money is better in your pocket than the lawyer's.
  #108 (permalink)  
Old 09-29-2011, 01:25 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 300
beebie is on a distinguished road
Default

Yup and in her case, not obtaining informed legal assistance ensured that the money stayed in her ex's pocket too. Genius!
  #109 (permalink)  
Old 09-29-2011, 03:34 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: East, small community
Posts: 226
Lorac is on a distinguished road
Smile Case Conference Over

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to let you all know my 2nd case conference was yesterday and all went well. My STBX wanted $600.00 a month Spousal Support up from $553.00 at our first case conference. The judge said I had to re-instate him on my Health Plan and pay SS of $144.00 a month. I am fine with this and I feel we have come out pretty much even. At 65 years I will no longer have to pay him anything...I will be 62 in January. It was a long haul but I'm hoping it's finally over and I can now move forward with my life. Needless to say he's very angry at this time but that only served to help me because the judge said it was not practical what he was asking for considering we are both seniors and there is not a lot of money to begin with. He also told him that I will be loosing my bridging and transition in 3 years and that will bring my income down by $800.00 a month and this is why he was ending the SS at that time.

I feel like an anchor has been lifted off my shoulders. Thanks to everyone on this forum for all that you do.
Take care
L.
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:37 AM.