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General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

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Old 10-29-2013, 09:54 AM
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I'm the second ex..we had been divorced for 2 years when my ex died having surgery. We have 2 kids for whom I'm still getting support To my surprize he left me his pension and life insurance. I am the named beneficiary. It's been four months and I haven't seen a penny. The first ex ( divorced 1992) has put in a claim for the money. She remarried in 1994 but had a clause claiming part of our ex's pension once he retired. He died before retirement. He had a valid will and she and her adult child were not named to receive anything. She did receive child support and alimony.
Is she going to get the money I need to raise my kids?
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Old 10-29-2013, 10:07 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2nd ex wife View Post
I'm the second ex..we had been divorced for 2 years when my ex died having surgery. We have 2 kids for whom I'm still getting support To my surprize he left me his pension and life insurance. I am the named beneficiary. It's been four months and I haven't seen a penny. The first ex ( divorced 1992) has put in a claim for the money. She remarried in 1994 but had a clause claiming part of our ex's pension once he retired. He died before retirement. He had a valid will and she and her adult child were not named to receive anything. She did receive child support and alimony.
Is she going to get the money I need to raise my kids?
I would think that you will get paid CS from the estate until it runs out.

She would not have a claim on his life insurance unless she was currently named as a beneficiary.

When you say pension, are you meaning government pension? She may have a claim as would you. It may take time to sory out. If it is a private pension, it would depend on the wording of the separation agreement.

You need to know who the executor is and work with them.
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Old 10-29-2013, 10:22 AM
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Executor is her 34 year old son. He is bitter and angry. It's a private pension and the ex had $21k in it at the time of their divorce. It is now substantially more. The adult son had demanded that I give it to him (he said it was only fair since I was getting the life insurance). I had not received child support all year. I registered with MEP in the spring. Will has not gone to probate and my kids get what little there is of his estate but on the executors control until my youngest is 25.
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Old 10-29-2013, 10:27 AM
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Originally Posted by 2nd ex wife View Post
Executor is her 34 year old son. He is bitter and angry. It's a private pension and the ex had $21k in it at the time of their divorce. It is now substantially more. The adult son had demanded that I give it to him (he said it was only fair since I was getting the life insurance). I had not received child support all year. I registered with MEP in the spring. Will has not gone to probate and my kids get what little there is of his estate but on the executors control until my youngest is 25.
If he left it to you, there must be a will and that would specify his wishes, which should be followed. It is customary that an executor get their expenses and time compensated for in some way.
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Old 10-29-2013, 10:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2nd ex wife View Post
Executor is her 34 year old son. He is bitter and angry. It's a private pension and the ex had $21k in it at the time of their divorce. It is now substantially more. The adult son had demanded that I give it to him (he said it was only fair since I was getting the life insurance). I had not received child support all year. I registered with MEP in the spring. Will has not gone to probate and my kids get what little there is of his estate but on the executors control until my youngest is 25.
Is the life insurance sufficient to cover remaining CS obligations for your kids with him? Including university?
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Old 10-29-2013, 11:28 AM
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His estate is a house worth about 100k. These are piddly amounts compared to what many people have or fight over. I am hoping the executor will step down he has all the paperwork and seems to be helping his mother rather than representing my children's best interests. I am really frustrated and angry.
Most of the money was left to me to raise the kids through a small life insurance policy and his pension. It won't be enough but I have a good job and the kids have already started getting scholarships.
I just don't want to get screwed over by the first ex and her son. My kids deserve to be cared for by their dad.
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Old 10-29-2013, 11:34 AM
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How do you know what was left to you? Have you actually seen the will? All you are really entitled to is CS and what his share of school expenses would be. Unless you are named as a beneficiary you are not entitled to more than what his share for raising the children would be.

For example, if for the next few years until the youngest reaches 25 (which I assume won't be long since you state that are already getting scholarships) his share would be $100k, if you are not the named beneficiary, the only thing you are entitled to is the $100k, even if he had a $250k insurance policy.

You need to find out if there is a lawyer working with the estate and contact that lawyer, you are entitled to the money you are owed and do not have to sign over anything, that being said, you need to figure out what you are entitled too and not expect more than that.

I hope all this is being kept from the kids, whether they are older or not, the loss of their father must be very upsetting for them, the last thing they need is their mother and uncle fighting about this. It seems like the son has control of paying CS, is that correct?
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Old 10-29-2013, 11:47 AM
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If you are the named beneficiary on the life insurance and his private pension, then they are yours. They are not part of his will. You need to notify the companies of his death.

If she has a claim to part of that pension, then the pension company will sort it out.

You can dispute the fact that his son is the executor, and the courts will rename a lawyer to take over.

If you or your children were specifically named in the will, you should have received a copy by now.

I don't understand why he would name his son as the executor, but not name him as a beneficiary.

Last edited by paris; 10-29-2013 at 11:50 AM.
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Old 10-29-2013, 11:51 AM
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I was on good terms with my ex and I had a copy of his will. I was in the ICU with him holding him when he died. I know what I am entitled to as the insurance company sent me the papers.
My youngest child is 17. My 18 year old daughter has done well and is in 2nd year uni. Age 25 is a long way off.(8years)
I still have obligations to keep and expenses to pay. Do my children know what is going on? You bet. My daughter was told by the executor (her half brother) that she could find a buyer for the house.
The law concerning pension changed regarding divorce in 2000. I want to know if the first ex is going to get a large chunk , a small chunk or maybe nothing.
I don't have any "divorce anger" . We did a collaborative divorce and both behaved like grown ups. My concern is paying for university for 2kids.
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Old 10-29-2013, 12:13 PM
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If it was written into the first SA agreement that the first wife was entitled to some of the pension when he started to withdraw it, then yes she is still entitled to some of the pension. The amount will depend on what their SA stated. As with everything else, his obligations to the first family do not end because he remarried and then later divorced again.

The pension company will sort out who is entitled to what. Just because he passed before he was able to access his pension does not mean the first wife goes without, as now his pension will be paid out and you both will get a chunk of what you are entitled too. No one can tell you what portion she will receive as no one knows the number, nor what his will or SA stated. Your best bet is to seek out a lawyer to help you with this.
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