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Old 10-10-2015, 04:32 PM
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Default Holiday weekend access

Hey All! I just want some perspective on an issue that's come up with my ex regarding dealing with additional access for the Thanksgiving weekend. We have alternating weekend schedule. Our court order states that for this year, Thanksgiving weekend he gets our son for the whole weekend. No problem. However, it is supposed to be my weekend so I just asked the ex to switch the following weekend so that our son can be with me. If not for this switch, he would have our son for 3 weeks in a row.

He is now refusing and I'm not sure what is the norm. I know for sure, that our son doesn't want to be away from our home for 3 weekends in a row (we live in different towns so he wants to stay home and visit with his friends, stay home with his pets etc.). I want some perspective from all of you before I figure out whether to make an argument - this will come up again I am sure on future holidays - or to "pick another more important battle" -it's only one weekend.

Appreciate any feedback!
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Old 10-10-2015, 05:15 PM
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He's not obligated to change the schedule, he wants the time with his kid and you should encourage that, especially since it seems dad only has every other weekend with him. It's a rare occurrence and I would leave it alone.

On another note you say he "wants to stay home". Dad's house is his home, too and both you and he should recognize that.
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Old 10-10-2015, 06:46 PM
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My ex-wife pulled this same crap - I have never seen an order that adjusts the regular schedule because of holidays nor have I seen a judge agree with you.

The regular schedule always stays the same...
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Old 10-10-2015, 06:52 PM
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Nope he's right, he doesn't have to swap with you, just like you won't with him when Thanksgiving falls on your year.
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Old 10-10-2015, 07:27 PM
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How old is your kidlet, and is there good communication between him and his dad?

Switching out weekends for holidays doesn't make sense, as neither party can pre-plan any future weekends/family time if the holidays force a switch. Some years, it will work to Parent A's favor, some years, it works to Parent B's favor, but it does all equalize in the long term.

Around here, we've always managed to balance out long weekends/holidays between our respective families, but that is because it is important to both my ex and I that our kidlet have the opportunity to be at everyone's holiday events -- and fortunately, we've both been lucky enough that our families have always been willing to accommodate our kidlet.

eta- I am the only divorcee in my immediate family generation, as my ex is in his.

Last edited by mcdreamy; 10-10-2015 at 07:31 PM.
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Old 10-10-2015, 07:58 PM
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The holiday schedule over rides the regular schedule. Unfortunately you miss you weekend and ex gets 3 weekends in a row. It's not a bad thing for dad to have an extra weekend

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Old 10-11-2015, 08:49 AM
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Thanks all for your responses. I'm surprised but glad to know what the normal practice is. Ex and I do it have a good relationship so it's difficult to have faso able conversations. I agree that this issue will come up from time to time so having this precedent is helpful.

Something our son will just have to understand that comes up from time to time.
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Old 10-13-2015, 03:44 PM
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My ex and I have the same issue with the odd time one of us will get three weekends in a row. This is common and over time, it balances itself out.
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