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Old 03-07-2012, 06:48 PM
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Default High Conflict Lawyer Paired with High Conflict Ex

So my lawyer has just informed me my ex has hired a very high conflict lawyer. (in a round about way of course) She's basically told me this is probably going to take 18 months to settle. Ehhhh court application being filed on Monday. I wanted to wait until after the visit with the kids before the ex get's served. I want to spare the children the drama and at least he'll get 48hrs of cooling off time before he has the kids again. I don't really know what to expect from here. Lawyer mentioned the first case conference we could ask what they think should be decided and use this for negotiations. Anyone ever do this before? Or are two high conflict people just going to keep bleeding me dry? Arf! Family court blows! Not that I've dealt with crimal court either, I'm sure it sucks just as bad!
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Old 03-07-2012, 08:21 PM
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Welcome to my world.
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Old 03-07-2012, 08:31 PM
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And mine, sweet lady - keep yourself strong and healthy. For a time, Court and alllll the endless BS kicked the hell out of me. Keep learning more and more, read a lot - take vitamins and exercise. It will help give you the strength to sustain this.
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Old 03-07-2012, 08:32 PM
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and mine...
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Old 03-07-2012, 08:48 PM
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Sweet! lol At least I'm not alone! Thanks for the great advice hadenough! I haven't been taking the greatest care of myself lately. Time to focus on me maybe just a little!
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Old 03-07-2012, 08:50 PM
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Keep an eye on your lawyer. Her remarks to you could reflect her past dealings with the other lawyer. Very unprofessional of her. Before you get in too deep financially with this lawyer be sure you are confident she will do a good job for you. You certainly don't need a lawyer who is easily intimidated. Sounds like your lawyer is warming you up to the idea of a huge legal bill. Ask her about a binding JDR. Keeps the bills down and forces you to make a deal quickly with the judge right beside you to make sure the lawyers behave themselves. If your lawyer isn't in favor of considering a binding JDR then get another lawyer. Read up on the internet about JDR's. There are 2 types: binding and non-binding. I thankfully opted for the binding. Good luck and READ OVER EVERYTHING VERY CAREFULLY - LAWYERS AND THEIR ASSISTANTS MAKE MISTAKES ALL THE TIME.
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Old 03-07-2012, 08:58 PM
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Great advice arabian! I'll get some reading done this weekend while the kids are gone.
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Old 03-07-2012, 08:59 PM
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Great advice. Yes I wish someone had pulled me aside at the beginning and told me to get a grip. I lost a lot of weight, fast (and didn't need to, that's for sure), I couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate - basically went to hell in a handbasket quick. I did not have anyone to talk to about this as no one I knew had been through it. Regrettably, I did not know about this forum either. If I had, I haven't a doubt in my mind that things could have gone more smoothly for me. I was totally green. A rookie. In the dark. Things are better now (in some ways) - mostly in the way I deal w/them. My perception had to change, a lot. I had to adapt, evolve and learn. I'm still learning. What a trip, lol.
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Old 03-07-2012, 09:12 PM
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lol I'm the same way. I've lost far to much already and didn't have much to spare. Like you, I have nobody in my life that's gone through this. I get lots of bad advice from friends that just don't understand. One day at a time. I've got some great advice from here about communicating, and that's been great since! He rambles on and on. I ignore and respond when I feel like to only things that need to be responded to. This site has given me some of my strength back! I really appreciate it.
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Old 03-07-2012, 10:36 PM
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Keep your head up! Try to keep your mind open. Take care of yourself, mentally and physically. Eat right, cut back caffeine.
Don't be afraid to fight for what you believe in and make sure to communicate what it is you expect from your lawyer.
Let's hope the two high conflict people, burn each other out!lol
Use this site as much as possible.... play money smart with your lawyer....
There are alot of helpful people and loads of information on just about everything.
Just remember what it is that you are fighting for..........
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