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Old 12-20-2016, 09:29 PM
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Default Happy Holidays!

Just wanted to wish everyone a safe and happy holiday. No matter your circumstance remember you made it through the year. 2017 is a fresh start.

My partner and I are headed out of the country on our new holiday tradition trip. Both kids arent speaking to him due to poor hard done by mom and her financial woes. Hes been struggling but I remind him they have choices and they choose to believe that garbage and treat him like crap. Time to focus on himself and his emotional and physical health. He agreed.

So heres to 2017! May it bring us all peace and happiness!!
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Old 12-20-2016, 09:33 PM
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Good to see you're making this into a tradition.

Hope you are travelling somewhere warm.
Yes the bundles of guilt (daughters) will be there when you get back.

Enjoy!
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Old 12-20-2016, 10:59 PM
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merry Christmas and a happy New Year to you to.
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Old 12-21-2016, 03:46 PM
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They will figure out the truth one day.

Happy holidays!
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Old 12-22-2016, 10:40 AM
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You know even parent of intact families often have to say "happy holidays and by the way Dad and I are off to a warm vacation spot and leaving you all to your own devices!

Huge happy extended family gatherings, such as shown on American Thanksgiving holiday movies, are just some producers fantasy!

Hope everyone has a good restful content holiday season.
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Old 12-22-2016, 12:49 PM
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ODF community. Thanks once again for a year full of great advice, debates and laughs. I truly see us as one big cyber family helping each other out through some of the toughest times we will ever face.

If you're dealing with your ridiculous ex this holiday season ... just remember that you can't control their behaviours .. but you can control how you react. Don't give them the pleasure of reacting.

Drive safe and have fun,

LF32
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Old 12-30-2016, 10:19 AM
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Well we had a great time and agreed to a new approach on his issues. Namely that he will move forward positively and without guilt or a feeling that he has to "fight".

Got home to two messages from his ex. She wasnt happy that she had to break the news of his trip to the kids, that he hadnt consulted her on our vacation and the kicker--a fishing expedition on an insurance policy he has renewing.

Then when he called kid1 to talk, kid 2 got on and screamed at him about not wanting to have a relationship. The ex then got on to defend her demanding to know how he knew info about kid 2. He reminded her that SHE is supposed to be sharing info and SHE is supposed to be encouraging the relationship not defending kids decision to not speak to him. Her response was that she got legal advice saying she doesnt have to do anything. He told her she got terrible advice.

Her comments to him that flip flopped on her constant "they are almost adults, they decide" and "you deal with me only" backfired too and he just told her flat out that her interference is the problem and she can kindly butt out on both his relationship with his kids and his personal decisions like his vacation plans (yes she felt she should have been consulted on our decision to go away).

When he got off the phone he agreed with me on how hes going to handle things going forward including not responding unless necessary, not asking any questions or sending any correspondence and dealing with the "termination of parental relationship" when the time comes. Hes still reeling a bit from the bs kid 2 said but hes also exhausted and sick from our trip so we'll see.

Goes without saying though--theres a special place in hell for parents who abuse their kids by alienating their other parent!!
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Old 12-30-2016, 06:23 PM
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Glad to hear you had a nice time.

Too bad your man didn't end the call when the ex got on the phone. Hopefully he will do so in the future? I seriously think you should go to the system I used at one time - (I only accepted hand-written faxes from my ex). LOL - believe me, it cuts back on the nonsense in a big way.
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Old 12-30-2016, 10:18 PM
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Turns out he asked to speak to her because he was concerned about kids bf being able to drive etc. I told him he doesnt get to comment anymore on that shit. Hes worried about her safety and he "knows what boys are like". Again, not allowed to comment. I was more shocked at the ex's attitude about him knowing stuff and her wanting to control his relationships including ours. Hes put them all on ignore now and if they want any money they better have proper proof and information otherwise the answer is no.
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