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General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 12-10-2014, 09:59 AM
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Most of the time he ignores her. The cheques he cancelled and replaced because they were cs. As he said to me "i did what I was supposed to, I sent it and have proof that I sent it. What she did with it is her problem." I ask these questions because I want to make sure hes following all the rules, dotting his i's etc. They WILL have to go back to court to hammer out university costs because she cant agree on anything. I just want to make sure hes being as reasonable as possible in the eyes of the court so he doesnt get burned. His reactions are much less pushover, I'M the one with the "wait lets make sure this wont burn you in court" reaction. Which is why I ask so many dumb questions about this. You guys have experience. You know what judges see as reasonable/unreasonable behaviour.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 12-10-2014, 11:31 AM
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Throughout the past 4+years of litigation with my ex I have often been asked by him to send him a copy of an Order or another document. In the past year he has asked me to send him copies of many things that his lawyer should be providing. I merely send what he requests with the knowledge that he is, indeed, a f*ck-wit.

Re-sending information/email is not a big deal. I'd do it graciously and without haste. You are the bigger person by doing so IMO.
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Old 12-10-2014, 12:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
Seriously Rock, you need to get over the fact that your partner is a wuss. He is a wuss and his ex-wife runs/manipulates him. I am not sure what the answer is but I know you can't change people.

I meant to address this comment. Hes not a wuss. He plays nice because she shares everything with the kids so it was more a case of "be the better person and one day my kids will see through her bs" but since its becoming more a case of kids now treat him in the same manner as mom, he draws the line at being a doormat/pushover. He'll do whats required nothing more. He realized that by allowing this behaviour, he was showing the kids it was ok to be disrespectful. Im seeing a lot of changes in him this month. Its painful but Im pretty sure in the long run it will be better for him.

Last fall his oldest told him he was mean requiring mom to get receipts for medical expenses. Mean to request what is spelled out in their order. Mean to expect mom to be organized. Mean. Right. Last time I went to the dentist or eye doctor they gave me a receipt. I keep the receipts to submit to my benefits company. But now that problem is solved because they all go through FRO and she cant get away with no receipts with them. (When they were married, he managed all the paperwork, tax stuff, receipts, forms etc.)

Totally a shake my head situation. I like Serene's comment though-dont play the game.

Edited to add that up until about mid August he acted this way because his thought process was "if I do this, my kids will keep speaking to me". Then some stuff happened that proved to him being a nice guy wasnt getting him anywhere. I couldnt make him realize he was getting treated like crap for no reason, he had to get to that point. Now he has. Remember the advice you guys gave me about the holidays? He got to that place you all saw a month ago. He just needed the time to see it for himself. When he told me how he was approaching his situation going forward he warned me I would be attacked too. Im not worried, Ive been public enemy #1 for a while now. But like I said in another forum, when you stop being the villain in their fairytale, life gets so much better.

Last edited by rockscan; 12-10-2014 at 12:15 PM.
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Old 12-10-2014, 12:19 PM
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If she keeps this up and consistently looses receipt etc which impacts on the well being of the child and that child is actually attending college, therefore an adult. Can he not put forth the motion that he would like to pay all monies ie university receipts and dental fees directly to the young adult.

We paid our daughters university fees, but it was her responsibility to provide the receipt to us. When she needed the dentisit we told her to make an appointment, as she should at that age be able to manage her own time and committments and then we asked for,the receipt so we could submit to pay the bill.
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Communicate with the children that they are young adults now therefore in all finanacial matters, with exception of CS I guess, you will require them to communicate with you. Then gather all the evidence of Moms inability to manage these things, file a motion and get it court ordered. Stop the BS and make the young adults manage things themselves.

Last edited by Beachnana; 12-10-2014 at 12:21 PM. Reason: Spelling
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Old 12-10-2014, 12:33 PM
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He did this with d20. Ignored. So he left it. Hes asked five times now for receipts/statements etc to pay uni directly. Ignored. So he stopped. The kids ignore any of his requests. Like I said, his attitude is changing. He asks for receipts to pay expenses and move it forward quickly. Ignored.

Didnt realize that about filing the motion himself. But wouldnt he need the receipts? It was also a case of waiting until he found work to raise his %. He could file a motion for this year only?

Hes offered repeatedly to pay the school directly. Hell, getting the receipt to withdraw funds from the joint RESP took a month! That was just proof of enrollment. He has no receipt for tuition, residence or books. His lawyer told him hes done his due diligence asking both mom and kid for receipts and until they provide it, he cant do anything so leave it and leave his money in the bank gaining interest.
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Old 12-10-2014, 01:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
He did this with d20. Ignored. So he left it. Hes asked five times now for receipts/statements etc to pay uni directly. Ignored. So he stopped. The kids ignore any of his requests. Like I said, his attitude is changing. He asks for receipts to pay expenses and move it forward quickly. Ignored.

Didnt realize that about filing the motion himself. But wouldnt he need the receipts? It was also a case of waiting until he found work to raise his %. He could file a motion for this year only?

Hes offered repeatedly to pay the school directly. Hell, getting the receipt to withdraw funds from the joint RESP took a month! That was just proof of enrollment. He has no receipt for tuition, residence or books. His lawyer told him hes done his due diligence asking both mom and kid for receipts and until they provide it, he cant do anything so leave it and leave his money in the bank gaining interest.

Well then he has done all he can do. Its sad that they are playing the victim while all along they have created this situation for themselves. But you can take a horse to the trough but you cannot force it too drink.

Good job he has you to fill his life. Mso thats your job. Give a fullfilling and loving life, so he can move on.
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