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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 05-12-2015, 03:21 PM
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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
What was really weird was when I was going through the stack, I kept thinking about the amount of energy that I expended trying to get it all together for all the court dates and most of it didn't even really get reviewed.
I had the unique opportunity while sitting in a Brampton court room, auditing family law motions, to be there when a lawyer and their hunch-person rolled in 4-5 legal boxes of paperwork on a moving dolly! I had never seen such a display before!

The judge actually made fun of it and pointed to the boxes and noted no justice would sift through all the materials ever and the lawyer should know better.

Not sure if the lawyer actually thought it was a good thing to do this and it would actually look good to the judge?

I wish I could quote the judge perfectly but it went something like this...
All the pile of boxes demonstrates to me is who can demonstrate is who can generate the most nonsense.
It is amazing how much a very angry and un-managed litigant and their negative advocate lawyer can create in a simple family law matter.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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Old 05-12-2015, 03:41 PM
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The worst part is that even if a justice can try to cut the crap and make such remarks in the court room, if you are the "victim" of such vexatious and over the top litigation you don't have that luxury. You're forced to respond to every piece of horse hockey or it goes on the record as the uncontested truth.

Just because the Justice didn't want to review the paper mountain, doesn't mean at least one of the litigants hasn't had to become painfully familiar with every document.
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Old 05-12-2015, 04:47 PM
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Congrats PH I was able to purge many things that brought on chest tightening and almost panic attacks.


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Old 05-12-2015, 04:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
I had the unique opportunity while sitting in a Brampton court room, auditing family law motions, to be there when a lawyer and their hunch-person rolled in 4-5 legal boxes of paperwork on a moving dolly! I had never seen such a display before!

The judge actually made fun of it and pointed to the boxes and noted no justice would sift through all the materials ever and the lawyer should know better.

Not sure if the lawyer actually thought it was a good thing to do this and it would actually look good to the judge?

I wish I could quote the judge perfectly but it went something like this...
All the pile of boxes demonstrates to me is who can demonstrate is who can generate the most nonsense.
It is amazing how much a very angry and un-managed litigant and their negative advocate lawyer can create in a simple family law matter.

Good Luck!
Tayken
Thanks for the laugh Tayken!

Ex and I both are self rep, and he did this very same thing at one of our Settlement Conferences. He walked in and started dropping stack after stack on the table loudly, looking pretty smug, no doubt trying to intimidate me. While I held in my giggles.
All before the judge entered the room. We walked out with an agreement in my favour, which was worse for my ex than I originally offered to settle on, and none of his piles of papers got reviewed or even addressed.

Another time, he attempted to address a small, inconsequential comment I made in an email in 2009, I could hear the judge roll his eyes.
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Old 05-12-2015, 04:54 PM
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Congrats PH, must be a good feeling!
I hope that's in my near future!
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Old 05-12-2015, 06:10 PM
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Congratulations Pursuinghappiness!

I had a similar moment a coupe of weekends ago when I was sorting through the contents of my storage unit in preparation for clearing it out completely. I found boxes of old correspondence (remember how people used to write letters, not emails?) going back 25 years, including piles and piles of letters from the ex, back when we were "soulmates". I thought about whether I wanted to keep them and "nah, that's all water under the bridge". So all of his letters went into the recycling bin, while I kept letters from everyone else. I thought I might get a bit emotional about getting rid of all this history, but actually felt almost nothing at all, except for a little vague sadness that it ended up so badly.

Then went home and weeded out all the no-longer-necessary material from my divorce files. More into the recycling bin.

So there are very few traces of the ex or the marriage left on paper anywhere ... It's another step forward.
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Old 05-13-2015, 01:21 AM
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My "files" are now reduced at home to 4 large plastic bins. My lawyer's office would have at least the same amount of bulk or more. I have had to refer to the material on occasion. My files are mingled with business records. Things that seemed so important 5 years ago now only evoke a laugh from me (letters and emails sent to me from ex's g/f as well as love letters which employees discovered and turned over to me). I really don't have the inclination to go through it all. Perhaps someday.

I know someday soon I hope to find a place to have a large bonfire. This is certainly something to look forward to.
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Old 05-13-2015, 01:48 AM
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Summer or 2012, I had a good time BBQ'ing the wedding photos. I only kept the video as there are ppl who have passed away in my family and it's all I have to remember them by.

It does feel good to "symbolically" get rid of the past especially after more than a quarter of a century (gulp) of accumulated junk!

I did keep the most precious product of our marriage ... my son lol!
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Old 05-13-2015, 10:03 AM
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Since we settled before court, mostly I just have a few dozen e-mails and draft agreements. I still browse them occasionally wondering at how life turned out. My ex left the wedding album when she left and I still have it, although it is increasingly like looking at someone else's life.

Strangely, I still kept my ex's stuffed animal from when she was a child. It reminds me of what a different person she once was. Some day I'll pass it onto my son I suppose.
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Old 05-13-2015, 12:20 PM
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My mother kept two files boxes of all court filings from my parents' divorce for years. When I turned 25 I took them to work and dumped them in the shredder box. It was a big relief to us kids but my mother was angry I did it as she wanted to keep a "reminder of how horrible your father is". Then she wondered why we all needed therapy and stopped putting up with her continuing to hold on to the anger. Letting go is good!
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