Freedom

[inseperationhell]

A simple word, only 7 letters. But that is what I have now.

Seperation agreement signed and sealed, in 2 weeks the house will be my home, got the kids 50% of the time and out of an abusive marriage.....
...giving him a year of 50% custody to prove that he can step up to the plate and be a Dad - he was abusive to me, not them, so he deserves the chance with them....

I am happy, at peace and very thankful for the advice I got on this site (even if the words were harse at times...they needed to be).... Thank you

[ddol1]

Congradulations on getting through hell! Now take the time to enjoy the seperation!! Seriously I can't speak for others but every time I read that another one of us has made it through makes me have hope that one day I can join you........ if I can keep it together long enough that is.

So start living your life again. Start by enjoying some stress free time with your kids - a celebration is warranted! Enjoy, enjoy enjoy!
regards

[inseperationhell]

Thanks

A celebration is being planned. Looking forward to having the kids tomorrow for the first time since the new world order is in....stress-free is wonderful. I have not felt at peace like I do right now for over 10 years. I am looking only forward, planning my life, making decisions that are right for me....

Planning on re-decorating the house first - a new coat of paint on all the walls, my colors, my touch - Is that weird? Not that I don't like the house the way it is but feel an enormous urge to put my own mark on the house - start with an empty palette as they would say.

I am so lucky that this got settled fairly quick (7 months) and kept it together because of this site and a very good friend.

[standing on the sidelines]

I totally understand about redecorating the house, the first thing i did when i bought him out was change the living room around. He left his 25 year old sofa and loveseat and the 10 year old tv, the ancient end table and coffee table. I was never allowed to move the stuff around during the 11 years we were here so the first weekend, I moved it. LOL gave me the feeling that the place was mine.

My was quick also, separated december last year and I had the house and agreement signed in August. Now to make it through my first winter here alone. Not that he did much except pay for the heat, hydro cable and some of the mortgage and property taxes. I did all the outside work and even with me buying a snowblower to interest him in cleaning the driveway, i still did it most of the time.

[inseperationhell]

StandingOnTheSidelines -

how similar are situations are...I seperated in April, agreement just signed. Just did my new budget today....I am paying for the house solo, 50% of kids expenses and owe him an offset CS payment. Guess what, with his personal expenses and expensive tastes off my back, I will actually be ahead every month imagine that....

[ddol1]

question for you gals.... I am under the impression that regardless of how quick we can get it agreed upon the law is one years seperation before we can be rid of what turned out to be "the not so better half after all". So it must be at least a year before the house can be divided up?

In my case, the house holds the key to the equalization payment and I do not think she will start the SS unless it was mandated by the court, and then forced upon her for good measure.... Based on that I have been taking my time getting things together for the lawyer, the clearer and the more substantiated the data the easier it will accepted by the stbx. (she doesn't believe in equalization, financial disclosure and even though I have been on disability for almost a decade she also doesn't believe in SS - it is all her money now and she doesn't plan on sharing - without a fight!

OMG!! This is supposed to be a celebration thread! So I am going to get a cupcake, a candle and I will think of you as I blow out the candle for the beginning of your first year of seperation bliss! You need to think of a wish - and it will be true!!

[standing on the sidelines]

nope it is a year to file for the actual divorce. Property issues can be settled sooner.