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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 09-03-2014, 07:43 PM
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Yes. And there is time to revisit this down the road. I don't recommend moving him just yet. Discuss with teacher and ex and advise everyone of the situation and wait it out to see if it's necessary.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2014, 01:28 PM
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It seems like Mom is going to continue to be difficult yet again, this year.
She won't allow D5 to bring her school stuff with her, when I pick her up. This includes her daily agenda/planner.

In fact the first pickup after school started, she made a point to tell me, that since D5 does not have homework yet, that there is nothing she will be sending with D5 then until homework starts.

I asked "what about all her first-day info, and her daily planner she brings home each day". I haven't seen any of that yet.

She ain't sending it. Says I have no right to it. blah blah blah.
The typical BS reasons;
- she's the Mom, I have no right to it.
- I have no business knowing what she writes in D5's planner to teacher
- if there is anything she feels I need to know, then she will let me know.


I already have setup picking up info directly from school, but one still doesn't get everything this way. They only sent one copy of the forms and such. I'm going to have to check with the school again, to make sure my contact info is on file again this year, as it seems to get dropped each year, due to this. (Mom plays gatekeeper with the form, and excludes my info each year).

The daily planner is going to be the main thing though, as that is D5's and they use that everyday at school. The teacher mentioned she would try to let me know of anything important she notes in the planner to go home.

Email was sent to Mom, but that is pointless, since she just ignores the email. I use ReadNotify, and it shows that she often ignores D5-related communications weeks at a time.

I'm sending the same via registered letter.
I propose to her, that we change the dropoff/pickup location, directly to the school, to help faciliate D5's school info, going between both homes, and also to remove the exchange away from Mom's front-step.
She won't go for that either, but that is what I'm aiming for. Need it documented.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2014, 01:45 PM
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Perhaps purchase a second planner and label it 'Dad' and have the teacher fill out both daily. A pain, I know, but if you work with the school and continue try to work with mom, it looks much better on you.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2014, 01:49 PM
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Email mom, the teacher and the principal:

Mom, please confirm you will be sending child with agenda and all other school communications (newsletters, permission forms, class calendars, agenda, assemblies, etc) on a regular basis. Failing which I've asked the school to duplicate all information so that I am kept informed of our child's education and related activities. I would great appreciate your prompt reply. If we do not receive your confirmation to provide the above I have requested for the school to make the necessary provisions.

School - if we do not receive confirmation via email from mom by xx date please proceed as discussed.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 09-09-2014, 02:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
Perhaps purchase a second planner and label it 'Dad' and have the teacher fill out both daily. A pain, I know...
It's not just for the teacher. It's actually the child's planner as they need to write in it too. This would mean bringing D5 into this more and having her duplicate it as well.

I'm aiming for having the pickup/dropoff happen directly at school so D5 can simply bring/return her own school stuff.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 09-15-2014, 11:04 PM
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2 weeks later...

Mom surprisingly replies to my latest email about the need for daughter's daily school planner to follow her to both our homes and how daughter should be free to bring her school stuff back and forth. My email also suggested switching dropoff/pickup directly at school, or school daycare, to help facilitate this.

Of course, the response is hostile, and mirrors her response from our first-week of school exchange.

- she will NOT send daughter's school info or planner, as Mom states she can simply tell me to my face, what is going on with daughter, if she feels I need to know. (still playing Gatekeeper...)

- I don't help daughter with her homework or reading, therefore I can't be trusted with her school planner

- I don't drop/pickup daughter at school directly, therefore I don't need any of this info.

- ex now demands that I bring daughter home earlier than scheduled order time, because my parenting time interferes with daughters "routine", and since I don't help daughter with homework, Mom has to pickup my slack in mornings before school. (funny, my observation has been, that daughter and I have to wait for Mom to wake up, when trying to drop daughter off, even at the scheduled time).

- Mom finishes her email with a threat to me...claims I moved towards her menacingly the first week of school, during a pickup, and if I ever threaten her again, she's calling the cops.


At least, I have it all in writing.
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 09-15-2014, 11:07 PM
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I was instructed by mom not to do homework with the children. Apparently it is not a stepmother's place...

Your situation has very little to do with logic. Its about control. You can't win unfortunately. And I feel your pain.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 09-15-2014, 11:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
...
Your situation has very little to do with logic. Its about control.
Yes, agreed. It's all been about control. How dare I try to be an involved parent towards her property....oops....I mean, her child.
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 09-16-2014, 05:42 AM
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My hubby's ex always refers to the children as "my children". Its petty and immature. Its an attempt to minimize his role and upset him. Its passive aggressive too.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 09-16-2014, 07:46 AM
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I certainly hope that you don't cave to her ridiculous demands.
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