Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > General Chat

General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 06-07-2015, 08:16 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,035
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default Feeling Sad

This is more of a vent and self pitty post but I know a few of you can relate. We had my stepkids this weekend, S9 and D6. The weekend was great! We had a lot of fun. Today when the kids got dressed to go back to mom's I saw the shoes S9 was wearing. The soles were half off on both the shoes and he had holes in them where his socks were sticking out.

I asked him what he did to his shoes, thinking he did it this weekend as they were running around playing with cousins all weekend. He said they have been like that for a while but mom told him they would last him long enough until he could wear sandals every day. The clothes he changed back into for moms place we're all ripped, his shirt had a big rip in the shoulder.

I get sometimes parents send old clothes with the kids when they go to the other parents house and I guess this wouldn't bug me so much if it wasn't for my fiancÚ's brother pointing out tonight how well we dress the kids compared to what he sees them in on a weekly basis.

We don't buy the kids expensive clothing, mostly Walmart and I will hit up the children's place when they have good sales, but we try to make sure they are at least presentable. S9 said to me today he couldn't wait for summer when he gets to spend his weeks with us.

When we dropped him off tonight he didn't want to get out of the car. His eyes filled with tears and he just looked at me. I hugged him and said we would see him in a couple weeks and he went with his dad up to the house.

Now this is all normal stuff but the biggest thing that gets to me is how put together D6 is. She always has nice clothes, new shoes, fancy hair, etc. A beautiful little girl. I can't help but feel like mom pays more attention to her than S9. They both have made comments about S9 being ganged up on because he is the only boy and D6 laughs about it. S9 is a sensitive kid and you can see this bugs him.

I guess I just don't know what to do for him. When they are with us, they both abide by the same rules and are treated the same. I don't want to see the sadness or hurt in his eyes anymore. Makes me so sad...
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 06-08-2015, 06:14 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 546
BitHunter is on a distinguished road
Default

You can't do much as how the other parent treats the kid in his/her time is outside of your control. And you shouldn't even attempt to do something about that.

In your time be better than the other parent. Kids are not stupid.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 06-08-2015, 06:57 AM
LovingFather32's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 4,515
LovingFather32 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Except I dont think Berner is even the othervparent. Correct me if I'm wrong Berner. The grandmother I believe.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 06-08-2015, 07:02 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,035
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

Step parent LF32. And no we don't even attempt to control what she does on her time. It just makes me sad that he has to go through what he is going through.

I know there is nothing we can do, she is going to do what she wants to do but the whole situation is sad, especially when people from the outside notice
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 06-08-2015, 11:20 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 297
The Iceberg is on a distinguished road
Default

Do you think you could buy him a pair of shoes and send over with him?
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 06-08-2015, 11:25 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,035
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Iceberg View Post
Do you think you could buy him a pair of shoes and send over with him?
Of course we didn't send him home in those shoes. He took the ones we just bought him last month home. On top of the monthly CS we pay, we also fully clothe the kids at our house. We shouldn't have to clothe them at Mom's too.

I guess where do you draw the line? A portion of CS is to go towards clothing, yet things like winter wear we must buy and provide. He went half of this past winter without snow pants at his Mom's house before we found out. Once we did we sent his snow pants home... guess what... the next weekend they came he didn't bring his snow pants with him. Mom said she forgot to pack them, so again, we bought new snow pants. Its an endless cycle.

The kids catch on, they know. They make little comments about it and S9 is so appreciative every time he gets new clothing. I just try to remember that not everyone parents the same and she parents how she thinks is best. That still doesn't stop my sad feelings.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 06-08-2015, 02:08 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,901
rockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

You guys do what you can and when you see fit. He gets it and he will remember. You cant force her to change (not that she will anyway). Your fiance is a good dad and you guys cant fix this. What youre doing is great. Keep giving that boy all the love and emotional support you can and he will flourish.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dealing with Stress Jeff Divorce Support 8 11-05-2014 11:04 AM
Anyone else feeling hopeless, financially? Crgman Financial Issues 126 04-18-2013 09:27 PM
Feeling Lost cantlivewithouther Common Law Issues 1 07-28-2010 11:55 PM
Feeling "heard" in the system.. sasha1 Divorce Support 9 05-05-2006 01:10 AM
This feeling of lonliness... Whitstews General Chat 4 02-24-2006 05:11 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:14 PM.