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General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

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Old 02-22-2010, 07:08 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tri-City Area - ON
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JustADad is on a distinguished road
Default Father's groups, Web / Pod seminars, Support groups that tour & motivate????

Hello and good day,

Just wanted to throw this out there. Women have so many support groups, so many shoulders to lean on so to speak!
They have shelters, special housing, and the list goes on and on.

I guess as I sit here, thankful for this forum, I find that I am asking myself when are men going to organize and put forth the effort to change and level the "playing field"

Why don't we have groups who meet at the YMCA or local gyms?
Why don't we hold seminars, web casts, pod casts and create a not for profit to assist men that are struggling?
Why has no one done a documentary that properly highlights the injustices and biases occurring in the legal system?

As i ask these things, I also find myself asking, would men listen, care, consider, help or want such things?
I mean really if someone put in the time, how many would support any of the above by donating time, skills, possibly money, stories and support for those who need this?

Maybe its a silly school boy dream and rant...but a silly school boy dream lead to the end of slavery, gave women the right to vote, allowed gays into the military...It started at some point some where...

So why can't these things happen for guys who just want the same thing in the end? To be an involved loving father, period!

I welcome your thoughts and opinions, sorry for the rant, thanks for taking the time to read my post.

JustADad
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Old 02-22-2010, 07:57 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ottawa
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JDaddy is on a distinguished road
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I totally agree.

Tell me when and where and I will be there.

Like you, I'm just a Dad and I love my children dearly.
I've been separated for 7 years and the lawyers are still keeping our separation / divorce process alive. It is emotionally and financially expensiveve, and should not be allowed. I have 50/50 custody with my ex but the rules, the process, and the demands are ridiculous.

It is time that people do something to change the system. It's not just about men, I have several women that would even back this up. When I express my dissatisfaction with the system to lawyers, they agree with me on all counts, but they say "that's how it works". Duh, No. When you fall to the ground and hit your head and it hurts, you can blame the earth's gravity and say "that's how it works". But when man made rules don't work, we have the power to change them - and we should!

I hope that many will read your post and will want to join.

JD



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Old 02-22-2010, 08:34 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tri-City Area - ON
Posts: 7
JustADad is on a distinguished road
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Thanks for your reply!

I am sure that there would be a lot of women there to support a group that was organized on all fronts.
I just feel that after sitting in family court, I realized its more like criminal court! I mean in criminal court families band together they communicate and you see some victims families and the accuser families actually talking and being civil, child molesters for the love of Pete have laws to protect their rights.
Family court however, well now a much different and sad story to boot. What goes on there, the innocent who can't speak, can't talk and can't defend themselves lose from the get go. Adults become children and lose there way, hatred and animosity grows, vengeance and greed divide and split families. The interest of family goes out the window and usually the man ends up losing the one thing he wanted when he went to this court that's about family, his children.
Where does this guy go from there?
Who helps him after he is raped by the courts?
Who guides his next step? Helps him work with in the community to give back, become a better person or dad, get off the street if he becomes homeless?
Why isn' there a place that he can go to get a small interest free loan or a work it off loan to help him in a time of need, food when he has none?
Why aren't there centers set up with retired lawyers or judges and officers from various facets of the family law system sharing access to resources that can assist him to layout a workable plan to get more involved in their kids lives! Every major community should have one!
Why isn't there a single father fund?
Why isn't there a Daddy center, where Dad's and their kids can go once a week or everyday if they want to do something different with their child that's Dad and child oriented?
Why isn't there shelters for single Dad's, who cant move in with family as their child is the only family they have, when he loses his job?

I don't know if can make a difference or if many will care, but if I keep hearing that that's the way it is, it will never change, what can you do...I'll go nuts...because look around you and see all the things they said would never change and it has!
To the ladies that read this post, I am not asking for a group that helps dad weasel out of their responsibility, nor am I bashing women in any way. I just look around and see all the options you ladies have and in a way I envy it and say to myself why can't guys do the same.

Thanks for your time, I hope to hear more.

JustADad
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