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Old 10-31-2014, 06:28 PM
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Default Ex socializing in my neighbourhood with kids

Maybe this will look bad on my part but I think it's weird that recently my ex wife has decided to involve herself in my neighbourhood's children's facilities, parks and restaurants. There are more such places in her neighbourhood and places I used to take the kids before getting the boot from the home. Now she's always here in my community.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?
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Old 10-31-2014, 07:10 PM
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Originally Posted by Just'in View Post
Maybe this will look bad on my part but I think it's weird that recently my ex wife has decided to involve herself in my neighbourhood's children's facilities, parks and restaurants. There are more such places in her neighbourhood and places I used to take the kids before getting the boot from the home. Now she's always here in my community.

Anyone have any thoughts on this?
she has a right to be in any public place she wants. Try just to ignore and not make a big deal of it.
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Old 10-31-2014, 07:32 PM
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You are correct, it does look bad on your part.

If your kids get lucky, she'll move into your neighborhood.
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Old 10-31-2014, 07:50 PM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
she has a right to be in any public place she wants. Try just to ignore and not make a big deal of it.
Trying not to. I know I can't control what she does or where she goes. However the odd thing is she always criticized this area for its diversity. So I'm kinda uncomfortable about her newfound interest.

Is there a legal tactic here I should prepare for? She's put me through the ringer in a very strategic way so I can't help but be suspicious and cautious.

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You are correct, it does look bad on your part.

If your kids get lucky, she'll move into your neighborhood.
Maybe you're right. I just know the legal stunts she has pulled and I feel like I'm on high alert a lot of the times. She doesn't have to tell me her activities with our kids but makes it a point she's in my neighbourhood. Her recent interest here is far from "how much better viable her community is" her views through the years.

She won't move into this hood. She believes she's too good for it. Plus she will never get rid of the house in her hood that I am paying for.
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Old 10-31-2014, 08:23 PM
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If you are going to be paranoid at least have a conspiracy theory....
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Old 10-31-2014, 08:32 PM
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If you are going to be paranoid at least have a conspiracy theory....
That's insulting. If I felt there was a conspiracy theory or if I was paranoid, I would've indicated / implied as much. All I've said is that I find it weird and uncomfortable given my history with my ex about my community. Can we return to those statements I've made?
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Old 10-31-2014, 10:37 PM
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If she has to go out of her way to come back to this neighbourhood she previously derided, she's doing it deliberately for some reason. That reason could be good, or it could be bad.

A good reason would be so that the kids can interact with their familiar places, still be in contact with their friends, etc.

A bad reason would be for you to be annoyed that she's invading your territory, and she's only doing it to get a rise out of you.

The good part is that either way, you can react the same. Just act calm and indifferent.

I will say though, that you can work yourself up into a tizzy wondering about your ex's motivations for doing something. Try not to waste your own time and emotional energy on that.
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Old 11-01-2014, 12:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
If she has to go out of her way to come back to this neighbourhood she previously derided, she's doing it deliberately for some reason. That reason could be good, or it could be bad.

A good reason would be so that the kids can interact with their familiar places, still be in contact with their friends, etc.

A bad reason would be for you to be annoyed that she's invading your territory, and she's only doing it to get a rise out of you.

The good part is that either way, you can react the same. Just act calm and indifferent.

I will say though, that you can work yourself up into a tizzy wondering about your ex's motivations for doing something. Try not to waste your own time and emotional energy on that.
Trying to stay calm and indifferent. Her previous places (rather mine with the kids when we were together) continue to be in HER hood. Why she's in my community considering all that she's done legally makes me uncomfortable as I suspect a legal motive. I just don't know what it is -- yet...

It's not that I am annoyed. I feel apprehensive about what it could mean. She has never done anything FOR the kids, taken them out on her own, so why she's in my hood "making face" leaves me to suspect I've got hurdles ahead of me in court.

I know this is sad. What's more sad is that those who previously loved each other can do this to one another.
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Old 11-01-2014, 12:36 PM
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Honestly, I don't see anything suspicious in this behavior. Maybe she's stepping up her game and becoming a more engaged parent by doing things with the kids in their familiar environment. If so, that's good for the kids. Maybe she's just trying to irk you.

Her behavior has no bearing on how *you* parent the kids, which is what matters for you in court. If you are also engaged and active, the kids have two parents that do lots of things with them and are committed to them - a good setup for 50/50 parenting. Your ex being active in kids' things would only be a problem for you if you were trying to paint her as an inattentive, neglectful parent, and she's not conforming to that image.

Xs and Ys - you can turn yourself inside out trying to figure out "Y" your "X" is doing whatever he or she is doing, and it won't make much difference. You'll never get inside her head, so your time is better spent distracting yourself or doing something productive.
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Old 11-01-2014, 01:36 PM
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I cannot work the quote thing ..... The Xs and Ys - paragraph above is bang on. I have to remember it.
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