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View Poll Results: Would you participate in this documentary?
Sign me up, I want to participate! 3 30.00%
I would participate if I could be anonymous 3 30.00%
I would help behind the scenes 0 0%
This is a waste of time 4 40.00%
Voters: 10. You may not vote on this poll

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2012, 11:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveB View Post
The male and female perspectives are equally valid, although their experiences may be quite different.
They are of little value as (a) the courts of justice act, family law act, criminal code of Canada, children's law reform act, and all other acts do not identify gender in any of the Rules and applicable Laws. The only party that matters are the children as defined by Rule 24 of the CLRA.

So, for you to explore gender doesn't make it valid. It makes it a gender war and a continuation into the dichotamy of male versus female. Until such time people like yourself and your "causes" realize that the problems that exist for families (gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, et all...) is not about "parents" (of any gender) but, the children involved...

It will just be more victim statements with no clear identification to solving the problems children, the most important people in family law disputes, as defined by the CLRA, it will all just be lamenting. No different than the rhetoric shared by any organization/cause that is gender identified.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveB View Post
We hope and believe that an open conversation is more helpful and healing than silence.
Who is "we" in this statement? You and Ken? Or is there an organization driving this? What is your experience with the Family Law system? Ken's?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SteveB View Post
We hear many negative stories about "deadbeat dads," domestic abuse, and absent fathers. Our intention is not to lay blame, but to talk to men about their experiences, both positive and negative.
Why not talk to professionals? Custody and access evaluators? Justices? (i.e. The HOnourable Mr. Brownstone for example?) How about interviewing Mr. William Eddy of the high conflict institute?

What supporting research materials are you relying upon to drive the content of the "documentary"? What is your hypothesis you are presenting about the current state of "men" in family law matters?

Suffice to say, your documentary sounds like it will be an "actor" (motivational speaker) lamenting about how "men" get a raw deal in family courts. Something I for one do not believe exists.

The major challenge with family law is not gender. It is PARENTS. Both parents. Independent of gender, rage, religion or sexual orientation.

Warning to those who choose to participate. If you are engaged in a legal battle the statements made to these people can be leveraged as evidence against you in court. Should you make statements of "belief" against a parent and are identified you could find yourself having to explain it all to a family law judge. I am not being an "alarmist" but, a realist in what happens when you are separating and divorcing a possibly highly conflicted individual.

The best thing anyone can do is seek mental health help for their problems and focus on their children. Lamenting on the camera for the public to see won't put you in the best light as a parent.

Good Luck!
Tayken
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2012, 11:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
My only concern is profiteering from family situations.

Men have an outlet for exploring their emotions. It is called a mental health worker (clinician).
You misunderstand what we are trying to accomplish. As I mentioned above, this is not therapy, nor is it profiteering.

The response we have received so far is very supportive. Most people we have spoken with have expressed their dismay that this topic is unexamined and have a great desire to see it explored in greater depth. I am sorry that you don't share this view, however I hope you can help others find another venue for the mental health / support issues that you refer to above since this is not our focus.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2012, 11:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hadenough View Post
OP: You might want to read SynGreis' threads/posts before you recruit him. I don't claim to know exactly what your documentary intends to establish, but I'll hazard a guess that you're not going for a "Jerry Springer" tone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SynGreis View Post
I would LOVE to go but im 8 hours away
methinks you dont read.
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2012, 11:23 AM
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Terrible idea.The only people who would sign up are high conflict emotional unbalanced men.They are already making things difficult for themselves and their families in the court.A documentary like this shown in court could be the final nail in their prospective coffins.Worse this would end up on Youtube and their children and children's friends would see it.Many on here are fragile ,this seems like taking advantage of their vulnerability, for your own profit.

Nothing about a breakup is fun ,nothing about custody issues is fun,its all messy and difficult.Some poor soul breaking down during filming then his boss seeing it on Tv...Poor Bob doesn't get promotion because he seems like he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Cant you see how you could make a bad situation so much worse?
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2012, 11:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
They are of little value as (a) the courts of justice act, family law act, criminal code of Canada, children's law reform act, and all other acts do not identify gender in any of the Rules and applicable Laws. The only party that matters are the children as defined by Rule 24 of the CLRA.

So, for you to explore gender doesn't make it valid. It makes it a gender war and a continuation into the dichotamy of male versus female. Until such time people like yourself and your "causes" realize that the problems that exist for families (gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, et all...) is not about "parents" (of any gender) but, the children involved...

It will just be more victim statements with no clear identification to solving the problems children, the most important people in family law disputes, as defined by the CLRA, it will all just be lamenting. No different than the rhetoric shared by any organization/cause that is gender identified.



Who is "we" in this statement? You and Ken? Or is there an organization driving this? What is your experience with the Family Law system? Ken's?



Why not talk to professionals? Custody and access evaluators? Justices? (i.e. The HOnourable Mr. Brownstone for example?) How about interviewing Mr. William Eddy of the high conflict institute?

What supporting research materials are you relying upon to drive the content of the "documentary"? What is your hypothesis you are presenting about the current state of "men" in family law matters?

Suffice to say, your documentary sounds like it will be an "actor" (motivational speaker) lamenting about how "men" get a raw deal in family courts. Something I for one do not believe exists.

The major challenge with family law is not gender. It is PARENTS. Both parents. Independent of gender, rage, religion or sexual orientation.

Warning to those who choose to participate. If you are engaged in a legal battle the statements made to these people can be leveraged as evidence against you in court. Should you make statements of "belief" against a parent and are identified you could find yourself having to explain it all to a family law judge. I am not being an "alarmist" but, a realist in what happens when you are separating and divorcing a possibly highly conflicted individual.

The best thing anyone can do is seek mental health help for their problems and focus on their children. Lamenting on the camera for the public to see won't put you in the best light as a parent.

Good Luck!
Tayken
Clearly this documentary is not for you. However, it is a topic of great interest to many others, who understand that a conversation on the topic is important.

We cannot cover all areas at one time, and that is not to say that other perspectives are not valid. This is intended to be but one of many voices.
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2012, 11:31 AM
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You are under the assumption that everyone flocking to this documentary is going to be unstable.

It just might be possible for people who are genuinely interested may be of sound mind.

I, for one will NOT participate because i am 8-9 hours away.

Nevertheless i believe that this documentary can serve as a warning for people who may think about going into court or creating conflict. Perhaps it would rival the MIP program or make a stronger case because of live testimonies.
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2012, 11:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by murphyslaw View Post
Terrible idea.The only people who would sign up are high conflict emotional unbalanced men.They are already making things difficult for themselves and their families in the court.A documentary like this shown in court could be the final nail in their prospective coffins.Worse this would end up on Youtube and their children and children's friends would see it.Many on here are fragile ,this seems like taking advantage of their vulnerability, for your own profit.

Nothing about a breakup is fun ,nothing about custody issues is fun,its all messy and difficult.Some poor soul breaking down during filming then his boss seeing it on Tv...Poor Bob doesn't get promotion because he seems like he is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Cant you see how you could make a bad situation so much worse?
I'm just curious, why do you assume that the men will be breaking down while taping this? Have you thought that positive stories could come from this? And why is that you say that men are making things difficult for their families in court, I would say both sides can be accused of this? I don't understand why somebody would be so against this.

I find your statements further cement the need for a documentary like this, to possibly help dispel the assumptions that some woman/men have.
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2012, 11:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unevenplayingground View Post
I'm just curious, why do you assume that the men will be breaking down while taping this? Have you thought that positive stories could come from this? And why is that you say that men are making things difficult for their families in court, I would say both sides can be accused of this? I don't understand why somebody would be so against this.

I find your statements further cement the need for a documentary like this, to possibly help dispel the assumptions that some woman/men have.
Agreed. There seems to be a presumption in this forum assuming that people are unstable and would do anything to get into the public eye to tell their side of the story.

Again this reinforces the idea that MIP just isn't all that great mainly because there is no testimonies. People would take the matter seriously when they hear personal stories to this and to which be a more powerful tool than MIP.
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2012, 11:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SynGreis View Post
Agreed. There seems to be a presumption in this forum assuming that people are unstable and would do anything to get into the public eye to tell their side of the story.

Again this reinforces the idea that MIP just isn't all that great mainly because there is no testimonies. People would take the matter seriously when they hear personal stories to this and to which be a more powerful tool than MIP.
What seems to shock me most is that somebody would post derogatory comments about another member to sway the original op from using that member in their documentary. What are people so scared of, the truth coming out? It is up to the op to interview and decide who they want to use. I hope that I can always keep an open mind when it come to the opposite sex and their life struggles.
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2012, 12:03 PM
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Do you honestly believe that this documentary is to inform the public as to solutions or make useful suggestions to help those going through divorce? If there is a need for this then I would reccomend inviting judges and family lawyers and professionals explaining the law, provide information to help guide men (women) with this horrible concept of divorce.
Perspectives are just that--a subjective, bias view of what YOU are going through.
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