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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 12-15-2016, 10:42 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 243
Stillbreathing is on a distinguished road
Default Divorce Manual

I think somebody should put together a reality based divorce manual which can be purchased at the court house. All proceeds would go into some sort of charity fund which can be accessed by litigants once they have run out of lawyers, plundered their life savings, are homeless and on the brink of starvation.

The manual could contain some of the following chapters:

1. How to find and painlessly attach your first lawyer to your wallet.

2. How to painfully detach your 1st lawyer from your wallet and attach #2 to your RRSP''s, TFSA, and investments.

3. Credit card juggling 101.

4. Matrimonial home door slamming...exit, entry and equity destruction.

5. Tribal Warfare, how to coerce cannibals onto your side.

6. Lawyers, love 'em, leave 'em, sue 'em.

7. Judges, do they or don't they... actually read your file?

8. Family Court Assessors, the new breed of money vultures picking at the bleeding the carcass of your life savings.

9. Best Interests of the Childten : an excuse used by the court to justify the legal torture of your kids

10. Strategy and counter strategy: know your enemy's game plan

11. The idiots guide to self-repping

12. Family law rules and how everybody but you gets to break them

13. Stress management 601 : pick the addiction that's right for you

14. Affidavit writing. Lying with a straight pen

15. Who can sling the most mud wins

16. Money wars, how to fund your lawyer's children's international education fund

17. CAS, make 'em spin

18. Time your 911 calls. Whoever gets the police to show up first , wins

19. How to prolong your court case so it last twice as long as the marriage

20. How to keep taking your ex to court forever or until death do you part

21. Motions and counter motions ..oh what fun it is.

22. How to piss off the judge without even trying

23 Court related PTSD and finding the right addiction to treat it

24. How to glare at your ex from across the room

25. Fifty ways to leave your lawyer

26. Court ordered into poverty

27. How to live the homeless lifestyle with 6 kids, 3 rabbits and a dog.

28. How to keep the conflict going for years after the divorce is finalized

29. Offshore assets. Learn to swim

30. How to come back from the grave to haunt your ex. Fun and games with wills
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 12-15-2016, 10:55 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,963
arabian will become famous soon enough

Good list!
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  #3 (permalink)  
Old 12-15-2016, 11:05 PM
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,681
trinton has a little shameless behaviour in the past

I like it.

I started reading this book

Surviving Your Divorce: A Guide to Canadian Family Law: 6th Edition - Expanded and Updated
Michael G. Cochrane

Written by a lawyer.
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  #4 (permalink)  
Old 12-16-2016, 01:30 AM
Hand of Justice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: In the Shadows
Posts: 3,146
Links17 is on a distinguished road

I have a better one -

"What you need to know before: you let somebody have your kids, let them in your house or talk to their kids"

Divorce rates would just plummet.
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