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Old 04-19-2015, 12:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Janibel View Post
Doesn't really matter what some study claims .... divorce is hard of both genders, physically, financially and emotionally. Dealing with greedy lawyers, bored judges and the stress of going to court is enough to make anyone sick! It's dehumanizing bullcrap (and that's on a good day).

My ex suffered a massive heart attack last year (due in part to the stress of divorce) and now has a pace-maker. I've been to therapy and was on anxiety medication for the first two years.

Imagine what it does to our children?
They say "children will survive" - like that is good enough...

The underlying point is that it has been widely portrayed as better for women that being in an "abusive" marriage and considering 70% of divorces are filed by women - I wonder if these stats are not skewed to encourage them to file to divorce (indirectly) as a means of feed the divorce-industrial complex.
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Old 04-19-2015, 12:35 AM
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I personally know three people who had nervous breakdowns during their divorces. Seeing them in those states, was tough to content with until I got to see it first hand.

Ironically, my father and I have better communication now following his divorce, than while my parents were married.

There's not a formal linkage between the legal system and the mental health system. I have twice expressed concerns to my lawyer about my mental state, and my lawyer ignored the comments. I went as far as trying to call one of those lines for people in crisis, and was told "oh this is just the office, call this number instead" The proper answer would have been to redirect my call.
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Old 04-19-2015, 12:54 AM
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When one is faced with the option of living with abuse VS divorce and all the problems associated with that process - it's the lesser of two evils.

The divorce industry (and yes it is an ever-growing commodity) can be just as abusive as whatever situation a spouse is trying to escape from. It makes victims of us all ... especially children who understand none of it, they just want their parents to get along.

The only good thing about divorce is the "possibility" of rebuilding a decent life after all is said and done. Some people never recuperate financially - others become bitter and end up living solitary lives for fear of being bamboozled again.

The biggest loss has to be what it does to children's sense of security, just ask any adult who's parents have divorced - years later, many still suffer the consequences of their family's break-up.
"Children will survive" yes they will - if ex spouses don't use them as pawns.
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Old 04-19-2015, 07:59 AM
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Ah...I smell what yo are cooking here. It's akin to those bridal shows / exhibitions that are ever so popular this time of the year, encouraging women to get the dress / get married. Is there any any "groom show"?

Once it gets to the divorce stage, there is bias in the family courts, meaning more than 70% of the time, one gender gets things their way even when false accusation, and lack of disclosure takes place.

This encourages them to move on to the next person, and do it again knowing that they will come out of it again trumps. If it was fair first time around with no bias, most might think twice before jumping into another relationship.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
They say "children will survive" - like that is good enough...

The underlying point is that it has been widely portrayed as better for women that being in an "abusive" marriage and considering 70% of divorces are filed by women - I wonder if these stats are not skewed to encourage them to file to divorce (indirectly) as a means of feed the divorce-industrial complex.
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Old 04-20-2015, 08:26 AM
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Neither my ex nor I have been favoured by any of the multiple judges we have come before to date. If it appeared things were going better for one of us, there was always a "twist". Like the proverbial knife in your back when you turn around.

Last edited by Stillbreathing; 04-20-2015 at 08:27 AM. Reason: Spelling error
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