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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 01-15-2015, 06:11 PM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
he is fighting so much about the cost or the procedure? You wrote that you told him you would cover the costs.

My understanding is that he's not consenting because of both costs and procedure.

When I gave him copies of the 4 options, explained how the Pediatrics Dental appointment had gone well, ex looked at the costs and said "Fuck it, let's do it without drugs, no silly juice,no GA, he can get local (syringe) and if it helps I'll go to the appointment without you if you're scared that S5 will hate you for it, I'm not consenting to GA, these dentists are all crooks, but if you want to pay for it then by all means"

I told him that I could cover the costs and that we could do a repayment plan, he refused.
Then I folded and told him I'd rather cover the procedure than have S5 feel pain and be traumatized and that even if we had 4 options, seeing as how S5 had previously reacted, Ped Dentist recommended GA.

I'm weary of the decision I made to pay for the GA, in regards to future costs such as other dental procedures (braces) or even extra-curricular activities (hockey) that can be COSTLY. I wonder if when faced with such things, he will "not consent" to anything, stating their costs are too high and so I will be the one to cover anything that is beneficial to our S5....
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 01-15-2015, 06:24 PM
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its a case of this needs to get done ASAP, you consented to pay for the costs so you have to live up to that. Sucks but it is what it is.

As for the other stuff like braces etc, those things will not be emergency things so there are other options like court.
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Old 01-15-2015, 07:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Helpless View Post

I'm weary of the decision I made to pay for the GA, in regards to future costs such as other dental procedures (braces) or even extra-curricular activities (hockey) that can be COSTLY. I wonder if when faced with such things, he will "not consent" to anything, stating their costs are too high and so I will be the one to cover anything that is beneficial to our S5....
Braces are a medical necessity, so if Kid requires braces, ex will have to contribute (this is different from the anesthesia question - anesthesia is not medically necessary, although it makes a medical procedure more comfortable).

Hockey and other extracurricular activities are not necessities, so ex would be within his rights to refuse to pay for them. When the time comes, if ex doesn't agree to sports, you would have to decide whether to pay the whole thing yourself or to not enroll Kid because of the cost (or to find something cheaper than hockey). There have been some cases where courts have ordered an ex to contribute to sports expenses, but I think that's been in cases where the kid has already been active in the sport - probably not the case if your kid is five.
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Old 01-15-2015, 07:16 PM
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I think many of us make decisions for our children based on our own personal experiences. Your ex thinks your child should toughen up and let dentist get on with things without GA. I felt the same way with my son when he was young and needed a few extractions for braces. I recall the dentist telling me I should take my son to a pediatric dentist because my son was bawling (young dentist was likely concerned that son's bawling was too loud). Interestingly though, I saw that my son was wailing before dentist had even done anything. I told the dentist to get on with it already. 10 minutes later my son emerged with his mouth full of cotton. Not a big deal whatsoever.

I also have a friend who insists on a GA for simple teeth cleaning because she has a fear of dentists.

There is a possibility that your child did feel associated pain from surrounding teeth or tissue even though his mouth had been frozen. Dentist should have simply injected more freezing. I recently had a tooth repaired and despite plenty of freezing I did feel the drill. Dentist had to stop 2 times to inject more freezing. I experienced tooth pain a few weeks after the procedure. This is not unusual.

1300.00 for GA and a root canal is a waste of money IMO for a non-permanent tooth. Once you start doing that are you going to have GA for routine dental cleaning? Your child will be going to the dentist for the rest of his life. Was your child more comfortable with the other dentist? Sometimes you simply need to find the right dentist that your child feels comfortable with. I'd consider using GA for removal of severely impacted wisdom teeth but certainly not for removal of baby teeth which is a fairly routine procedure as getting braces is a commonplace thing.

No one likes to hear their child bawling whether it's for inoculations or going to dentist. There are many things which are unpleasant.

You are both good parents as you have taken your child to the dentist. There are MANY people out there who simply do not take their children to the dentist.

Last edited by arabian; 01-15-2015 at 07:48 PM.
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Old 01-15-2015, 07:19 PM
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Get your kid treated, pay the difference that isn't covered by insurance and let the ex take you to court.

Not sure what he would take to court though, if you're paying the cost there's no issue there, and if he's stupid enough to take you to court to complain about the kid not being in pain, I am not sure what he would be seeking from the court on this.

Do the right thing for the kid, let him take you to court.
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Old 01-15-2015, 07:47 PM
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I agree with blink that you do whatever you think is best for your child. Would be foolish for your ex to try to turn this against you in court as you made your decision on advice you received from a doctor of dentistry. Once the offending tooth is extracted (with or without GA) there will be little to squabble about.
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 01-15-2015, 08:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I think many of us make decisions for our children based on our own personal experiences. Your ex thinks your child should toughen up and let dentist get on with things without GA. I felt the same way with my son when he was young and needed a few extractions for braces. I recall the dentist telling me I should take my son to a pediatric dentist because my son was bawling (young dentist was likely concerned that son's bawling was too loud). Interestingly though, I saw that my son was wailing before dentist had even done anything. I told the dentist to get on with it already. 10 minutes later my son emerged with his mouth full of cotton. Not a big deal whatsoever.

I also have a friend who insists on a GA for simple teeth cleaning because she has a fear of dentists.

There is a possibility that your child did feel associated pain from surrounding teeth or tissue even though his mouth had been frozen. Dentist should have simply injected more freezing. I recently had a tooth repaired and despite plenty of freezing I did feel the drill. Dentist had to stop 2 times to inject more freezing. I experienced tooth pain a few weeks after the procedure. This is not unusual.

1300.00 for GA and a root canal is a waste of money IMO for a non-permanent tooth. Once you start doing that are you going to have GA for routine dental cleaning? Your child will be going to the dentist for the rest of his life. Was your child more comfortable with the other dentist? Sometimes you simply need to find the right dentist that your child feels comfortable with. I'd consider using GA for removal of severely impacted wisdom teeth but certainly not for removal of baby teeth which is a fairly routine procedure as getting braces is a commonplace thing.

No one likes to hear their child bawling whether it's for inoculations or going to dentist. There are many things which are unpleasant.

You are both good parents as you have taken your child to the dentist. There are MANY people out there who simply do not take their children to the dentist.
With respect, there is a distinct difference between kids that bawl and whimper, and kids that scream hysterically and trash around like they're being murdered.

Everyone's different, and it is quite likely that this kid will benefit from a GA.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 01-15-2015, 09:07 PM
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I hear ya ^ - my kid was hysterical. In future appointments I requested the "screamer time" at the end of the day. Soon he chilled about the whole thing.

I've often postulated about people who have an intense fear of cats. When you ask them if their mother also had the same fear, more often than not I am told that yes their mother had the same fear. I wonder if adult's fear and trepidation of dentists gets transposed to the children? I recall hearing horror stories about getting one's wisdom teeth removed when I was a teenager. When my time came for this most unpleasant experience I was surprised that it really wasn't as bad as I expected it to be.

Nowadays GA is given frequently and dentists have built lucrative practices on the fear of patients. Too bad they don't lower the cost and give stressed out parents a break.

Each to their own - as I said before, these are good parents who take their kids to the dentist. Praise the Lord for that!
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 01-15-2015, 09:19 PM
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Good point about fears and fear projection on to children. I agree with you on that one. I had a huge fear of spiders and the damn things always end up surprising the hell out of me, so in order not to project it onto my son, I've learned to "put my big girl pants on" and get a kleenex
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Old 01-15-2015, 09:42 PM
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Son and I both freak out about spiders (he definitely learned it from me).

I happen to work for a specialist and I have frequent convos with patients about their "fears" over surgery and other medical treatment. (Don't worry I am much more compassionate on the phone than my posts on here). I talk with more frightened adults than children. I really think it comes down to a comfort level between patient and medical practitioner. Often patients simply don't have enough information upon which to make decisions. Doctors/dentists don't want their patients to suffer. I think you were correct in going to the pediatric dentist as they do have specialized training in dealing with children. Many dentists, like my dentist who had just graduated from dental school at the time he saw my son, simply don't like dealing with upset patients. Years later my dentist and I laughed about how I barked at him to "get er done" when dealing with my cry-baby son. (I probably had a tee time that I didn't want to miss and was annoyed by waiting around. I do recall being quite aggravated by the dentist's reluctance to pull out my son's tooth).
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