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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 01-15-2015, 05:37 PM
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Default Dental Procedure Question :)

Hi folks, I've run into a sticky situation involving father of S5.

To put you in context, S5 went to my & his dentist for an appointment to check up on a cavity that I had noticed. S5 was in father's care and so father took him, dentist realized after taking xrays that S5 had a big cavity on his mollar and father made an appointment for treatment a few days later.

I contacted father on the day of the appointment to see how it had gone and father told me he had missed the 8:00am appointment but he had called his own dentist and was going to see what they could do. The next day, ex called stating that his dentist had done the filling procedure and that everything had gone well in regards to our son.

Three weeks after, son started complaining and tearing up about tooth pain where the cavity was filled, wasn't eating, was feverish and had to remove him from school. Because S5 had gotten the procedure done at father's dentist, I decided to return to that practice. It took my spouse and I an hour to try and convince S5 to go back, S5 was volatile, terrified, and in the end my spouse had to basket hold him, buckle him up in the vehicle, so that we could make the appointment in time I was informed that they should have referred father to a pediatrics dentist and that S5 might need a pulpotomy (root canal) or a complete extraction. S5 cried the whole time in the dental office, latching on to door frames when called in to the exam room.

Got a referral for a Pediatric Dentist and I got an appointment a few days later. This office, and employees were awesome and my S5 was calm and collected, I assured him on the way that he was just going to get pictures taken of his teeth.

After the exam, the DR gave me 4 options (with different pricing)
1 Pulpotomy with Oral (silly juice) & Local freezing 500$
2 Extraction with Oral & local freezing 350$
3 GA with pulpotomy 1300$
4 GA with extraction 1100$
and DR recommended general anesthesia seeing as S5 had been so anxious in the prior visit.
Of course I relayed all info to ex. We both agreed that because it's a baby tooth that an extraction and a space maintainer would be prime but when ex saw the difference of 900$ more in pricing for the GA he refused to go with this option. My spouse and I (have no med coverage) offered to pay all the costs related to the GA.

Ex says he won't consent to GA procedure stating that S5 should toughen up and that he had dental work done at his age and son should have local anesthesia. Ex told me that he doesn't want S5 to even have the "silly juice" ....

Now where the hell do I stand, I told ex that I'd cover costs, that I'd rather S5 not go through the trauma/painful experience. Told ex that he should contact the DR if he had any reservations (he refused) We have a shared custody arrangement but I'm just scared that making the decision of going through with the GA and extraction will give him the right to take it up to court because he was, and I quote" non-consensual to the price of this procedure"

Has any of you gone through these procedures with your kiddos and or exs?

Thanks in advance and sorry for the lengthy posting!
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Old 01-15-2015, 05:44 PM
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My daughter needed four teeth pulled to make space.

My ex and I thought we were being awesome by having her tough it out and have the local anasthetic injected with the needle, and being there with her in the room for the first two teeth. Our daughter, like other kids, has a lot of inexplicable dental anxiety that no amount of rationalization can solve.

We thought we could coax her through it. Well, let's just say that we can't win them all. For some reason, she freaked out in the middle of the extraction, even after having been given the local (which also made her upset). She claimed up and down that she could still feel the pain. Unfortunately, we were right in the middle of the procedure, so we had to double down and restrain our daughter while she screamed and writhed, and the dentist got two of the teeth out.

We felt like terrible parents. Never again. Next time, we booked the last two teeth extractions in an office that did the gas. It went off without a hitch, and we didn't feel like we traumatized our daughter.

Feel free to share this with your ex - A general anesthetic is extremely necessary in the case of kids that have existing anxiety. Don't make my mistake.
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Old 01-15-2015, 05:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Helpless View Post
Hi folks, I've run into a sticky situation involving father of S5.

To put you in context, S5 went to my & his dentist for an appointment to check up on a cavity that I had noticed. S5 was in father's care and so father took him, dentist realized after taking xrays that S5 had a big cavity on his mollar and father made an appointment for treatment a few days later.

I contacted father on the day of the appointment to see how it had gone and father told me he had missed the 8:00am appointment but he had called his own dentist and was going to see what they could do. The next day, ex called stating that his dentist had done the filling procedure and that everything had gone well in regards to our son.

Three weeks after, son started complaining and tearing up about tooth pain where the cavity was filled, wasn't eating, was feverish and had to remove him from school. Because S5 had gotten the procedure done at father's dentist, I decided to return to that practice. It took my spouse and I an hour to try and convince S5 to go back, S5 was volatile, terrified, and in the end my spouse had to basket hold him, buckle him up in the vehicle, so that we could make the appointment in time I was informed that they should have referred father to a pediatrics dentist and that S5 might need a pulpotomy (root canal) or a complete extraction. S5 cried the whole time in the dental office, latching on to door frames when called in to the exam room.

Got a referral for a Pediatric Dentist and I got an appointment a few days later. This office, and employees were awesome and my S5 was calm and collected, I assured him on the way that he was just going to get pictures taken of his teeth.

After the exam, the DR gave me 4 options (with different pricing)
1 Pulpotomy with Oral (silly juice) & Local freezing 500$
2 Extraction with Oral & local freezing 350$
3 GA with pulpotomy 1300$
4 GA with extraction 1100$
and DR recommended general anesthesia seeing as S5 had been so anxious in the prior visit.
Of course I relayed all info to ex. We both agreed that because it's a baby tooth that an extraction and a space maintainer would be prime but when ex saw the difference of 900$ more in pricing for the GA he refused to go with this option. My spouse and I (have no med coverage) offered to pay all the costs related to the GA.

Ex says he won't consent to GA procedure stating that S5 should toughen up and that he had dental work done at his age and son should have local anesthesia. Ex told me that he doesn't want S5 to even have the "silly juice" ....

Now where the hell do I stand, I told ex that I'd cover costs, that I'd rather S5 not go through the trauma/painful experience. Told ex that he should contact the DR if he had any reservations (he refused) We have a shared custody arrangement but I'm just scared that making the decision of going through with the GA and extraction will give him the right to take it up to court because he was, and I quote" non-consensual to the price of this procedure"

Has any of you gone through these procedures with your kiddos and or exs?

Thanks in advance and sorry for the lengthy posting!
Is the pediatric dentist the one who will be doing the procedure? I have found that some dentists are great with kids and can help calm them. If your son felt comfortable there then maybe it will be okay with the "silly juice" and the local. It is sort of the halfway point between you and your ex. Plus I wouldn't want to subject a child to GA with all the risks.
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Old 01-15-2015, 06:00 PM
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Thanks for the reply, I really appreciate other perspectives, my choice was made when we left the pediatrics dental office, of course I don't want my S5 to go through such pain but I'm worried with the legal repercussions of his "non-consenting"
What is hard to stomach as well is that he won't even pay half or make payments per month. He's a business owner and has stated multiple times that he is very successful. That being put aside, I would pay millions if I had to, just so S5 wouldn't endure this procedure...It really sucks
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Old 01-15-2015, 06:15 PM
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I put my kid to sleep for some dental procedure no complaints, very low risk
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Old 01-15-2015, 06:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
Is the pediatric dentist the one who will be doing the procedure? I have found that some dentists are great with kids and can help calm them. If your son felt comfortable there then maybe it will be okay with the "silly juice" and the local. It is sort of the halfway point between you and your ex. Plus I wouldn't want to subject a child to GA with all the risks.
There are just as many risks with the oral and local anesthetics, the silly juice is one of the same drugs administered to death row convicts prior to execution, of course we are talking about a lower dosage here, also it is not guaranteed that S5 will like the way he's feeling when on the oral and local freezing thus he could have a freak out and then I would have to pay for the unfinished procedure plus the GA procedure...WHAT A PICKLE HUN?!
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Old 01-15-2015, 06:32 PM
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I'm also worried that ex might bring this to court...
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Old 01-15-2015, 06:41 PM
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he is fighting so much about the cost or the procedure? You wrote that you told him you would cover the costs.
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Old 01-15-2015, 06:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Helpless View Post
I'm also worried that ex might bring this to court...
What would he have to gain by bringing this to court? You have already said that you'll cover all the costs, and it's not like he can get a do-over of a medical procedure. And there are no damages involved. Is there an ongoing custody dispute in which he could say "look, she isn't sharing decision-making and therefore I should have custody"?

I have a hard time imagining there would be legal repercussions: you both agree the dental work is necessary, the anesthesia is an option which is medically supported (as is the no-anesthesia option), and there's nothing here which is outside the realm of the ordinary.

You (and S5) are the ones who are going to live with the consequences of your decision, so I think you need to decide what is best for the kid. Medical opinion would support either you or your ex (as the doctor gave you both options). You can't both be right on this one - either he has his way (no anesthesia) or you have your way (anesthesia).

If the procedure is taking place on your time with S5, I would say you have the final word. Your ex may be ticked off, but you can survive that.
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Old 01-15-2015, 07:07 PM
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Let him bring it to court. He can tell a judge that he wanted your kid to endure unnecessary discomfort.
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