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Old 07-25-2007, 12:42 AM
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what does it mean what is it.. and who and how where does it apply
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Old 07-25-2007, 12:03 PM
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defacto custody means the usual residence of the child when there is NO custody order in place.....it applies if you are going through for sole custody position.....the judge may take into account for emaple if the child has resided with you for a number of years and nothing has been brought up in the past to change place of residence.....itcan either apply to father or mother doesnt matter who ever has current custody of child
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Old 07-25-2007, 01:40 PM
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what rights does defacto custodian have over the other spouse if any
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Old 07-25-2007, 01:48 PM
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not sure what you mean what rights does one have over the other??? are you asking can one make life altering decisions without the others consent.....the answer is no even if hypothetically you had sole custody you still wouldntdo that (or at least I would hope you wouldnt for the childssake).......can you explain exactly what you are asking about in regardsto "rights"
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Old 07-25-2007, 11:25 PM
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My wife and I are having many issues. Mostly her being Unreasonable . Shes doing things , trying to alienate me from my children. one example is how when she changed daycare . I was not even mentioned in the application and any paper work therefore in everyone eyes i dont exist her mother is registered down as contact person. Theres many many more. I pay support and 1/2 daycare even though there is no agreement made. I have regular accesss. I coach my kids teams , so im involved with them on almost a daily basis, there is an ongoing custody battle . She has always used that term Defacto custody almost since day one in her attempt to alienate me. I dont believe it exist in this case, Would Defacto Custody be a court order item, or is there any weight behind one person , or lawyer caliming this . with no written documentations. she doesnt have sole custody Is she allowed to change schools and or extra cirricular activities without consent. What recourse do I have.. We have only be seperated about 8 month and have court dates in place already
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Old 07-25-2007, 11:53 PM
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solara,


Until an order from the court or separation agreement provides otherwise BOTH parents are EQUALLY entitled to incidents of custody. What that means is BOTH parents have coextensive custody until the court orders or separation agreement provides otherwise.

However, when parents separate and the child remains with one parent the authority to act is suspended but not ended for the other parent.

I would write the daycare and advise your contact information and that your also the child's other parent. Furthermore you do have an equal entitlement to information bearing on the health, welfare and education of the child.

If the other parent is changing the child's agenda, school etc without your consultation-- this will not look good on them in a custody adjudication. A parent centered on the wellbeing of a child would definitely consult with the other parent for any change.

The longer this situation goes on the court would see that you agree to the current regime. Status quo regimes generally prevail as it is less interruptive to the child. Time is of the essence.


lv
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Old 07-26-2007, 10:03 AM
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the more you are around for your children the better.......as I understand you dont just do your scheduled weekends.......which is good.......make EVERY effort to change status quo if you want sole custody......but if you do be prepared to prove your case that the children would be enriched by living with you and not your ex........walking a fine line my friend.......however you can still have joint custody-meaning you both have equal say......sole custody I find is for mostly travel reasons and also my child said after was all said and done that gave him sense of placement thats all......then again my child is older and understood what was going on........depriving the other parent of say in the childs life hurts the child more than the ex.......you should have say in daycare (they look after the child more than they are at home -hard pill to swallow but its true).........as for extraciricular activities in MY opinion that is up to the child......why put them in soccer if they want hockey doesnt make sense.......as LV stated I would be advising daycare via writing (everything in writing my friend & keep a copy & date it) that there is NO custody order therefore they cannot deny you your children.....that I believe is not their call....if she was to stop and look at what she is doing your ex would realize that this doesnt hurt you it hurts the children mostly.....that will in turn bite her in the ass in court.......you have parental rights to those children so exercise them.....take everything you can get and live it to the fullest it will not bite you in the ass in the end
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Old 07-29-2007, 10:48 PM
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With my work I cannot have sole custody ,nor am even attempting to get it. Im going for joint custody only. I want to be part of their lives and be involved in any descions. She wants sole custody as revenge only. Shes a control fanatic. shes purposely creating controvesery and conflict knowing courts would not grant joint custody to parents who cant agree. But as history would indicate we agree on every important issue. Its the day to day stuff that became a power struggle.
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Old 07-30-2007, 09:54 AM
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it will be power struggle from now until your children are age of majority.......sorry to tell you that........its the nature of the beast........sole custody and joint custody really has not much difference........the only difference I can see (I have sole custody of my child) is that I am able to take my child away when I want to and the father cant deny me and if anything major medically came up I dont have to wait for his ok to tell doctors to go ahead with surgery for example. My child still sees the father on regular basis and anytime his father wants........denying access in my eyes hurts the kids more than the other parent.......
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Old 11-19-2011, 04:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littleman View Post
defacto custody means the usual residence of the child when there is NO custody order in place.....it applies if you are going through for sole custody position.....the judge may take into account for emaple if the child has resided with you for a number of years and nothing has been brought up in the past to change place of residence.....itcan either apply to father or mother doesnt matter who ever has current custody of child
If are still living together now, and it is my house and the child has been in the home since birth, who has de facto custody? is it "Defacto Joint Custody"? - This being the "child's" residence and the ex not having any claim to it, does it carry weight?

Would it not be in the child's best interest to minimize the change in lifestyle/routine/family members/caregivers and such so as to protect the child as much as possible from distress when the parents separate?

Or does it still come down to this irrational, without basis belief that a mother is a better parent and naturally knows how to better care for a child out of some magical maternal instinct. When statistics actually show that mothers kill their babies more often than men and Children from homes of single-fathers actually do better in all aspects that when children are from single-mothers!
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