Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > General Chat

General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

Closed Thread
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2010, 02:29 PM
tugofwar's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: mostly in my own little world
Posts: 1,384
tugofwar is on a distinguished road
Default Concentrating at work

Hi,

I was hoping someone can offer some advice. Some days when I get to work, I have a really hard time focusing on doing my work and staying focused on work and not everything else.
What can I do for myself to try to concentrate more on work?
I find that I am really easily distracted......
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2010, 02:31 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Vaughan
Posts: 2,369
billiechic is on a distinguished road
Default

no advice here..same prob.
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2010, 06:27 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 188
mominont is on a distinguished road
Default

No advice either

I'm sure there were days I surfed Canlii all day long.

mominont
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2010, 07:23 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Toronto
Posts: 5,448
Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
Default

My doctor sent me to this meditation group. It worked really well for me, and if I start getting distracted or feeling anxiety I just take a few deep breaths and it goes away.

But for me, I did yoga and martial arts for years and had practiced meditation before, so I picked it up pretty quickly. I don't know if it would be that easy for everyone.
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2010, 07:35 PM
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,943
logicalvelocity has a spectacular aura aboutlogicalvelocity has a spectacular aura aboutlogicalvelocity has a spectacular aura about
Send a message via Yahoo to logicalvelocity
Default

Once you have closure on the issues, it will get better.
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2010, 07:36 PM
blinkandimgone's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lucknow
Posts: 5,229
blinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura aboutblinkandimgone has a spectacular aura about
Default

I treat work as a hobby - somewhere to go to take my mind of my life. When I'm inside the walls of my office, nothing else exists - unless one of my children is on the phone. Vice versa when I'm at home.

I also keep my day fairly well structured so that I committed to doing a specific task between specific hours which I find helps keep me focussed. I have my days for sure, but so far my head hasn't exploded.
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 05-06-2010, 11:30 PM
MaggieT's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Ontario
Posts: 44
MaggieT is on a distinguished road
Default

I remember the time!! And to give you some reassurance...time does heal and the crazy racing mind will go away...as you feel more secure in your decisions and start to feel like you are going in the direction that you want, you will slowly start to notice that you are not thinking the same way that you used to...
I tried my best to focus on my job and I used to remind myself that this was the only time during the day that I did not have to think about the ex, the separation, lawyers, plans, who said what, how am I going to respond to that...BUT...to get to that point, I would spend my evenings...after I put the kids to bed with a pen and journal and I would write, write and write...everything and anything that I wanted.
I would write letters to myself, to him, to my kids...I would be sad some days and then mad on other days...I had my pity parties with those sheets of paper and I also had my triumphs with pen to paper!!
by the time I was read for bed, my head was a little clearer and the next morning it was out of my system...
I still have those journals...and one day ...after I am gone, my kids will likely read them and understand as adults what it was like for me to go through what there father put me through...they don't need to know that now as they are just children...but later in life, it may help them get through a rough time knowing how strong and independent I was!!??
Hope you find peace to your days and nights and remember...you can't change what happened in your past, but you can use the information to guide you through your future.
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 05-07-2010, 01:14 AM
dadtotheend's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,644
dadtotheend will become famous soon enoughdadtotheend will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieT View Post
II still have those journals...and one day ...after I am gone, my kids will likely read them and understand as adults what it was like for me to go through what there father put me through
Only if you let them read them. Don't know why you would though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieT View Post
...they don't need to know that now as they are just children...but later in life, it may help them get through a rough time knowing how strong and independent I was!!??
Or not.
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 05-07-2010, 11:29 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Vaughan
Posts: 2,369
billiechic is on a distinguished road
Default

I would never let my child know the crap that I went through. Unless it would help her get through something similar. Having to tell her (in order to help her) is my worst nightmare.

Maggie..your kids should be able to see how strong you have become. Telling them is not going to help that, and it is likely to hurt them. Take the high road.
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 05-13-2010, 07:37 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 17
noblefather is on a distinguished road
Default

On the 5th day of my ex wife announcing her intentions, my boss told me to bring my gym gear to work. The next day he took me to the gym and i've never looked back. 14 months later I'm in incredible, no amazing shape. So my recommendation is to work out, get active, the result of physical extertion will put you in a better frame of mind. there are some days when I'm not as productive as i'd like but when i've been to the gym and have to deal with my ex I'm a lot less resentful and civil despite feeling so wronged by what has happened to me.
so join a gym, exhaust yourself at least 3 times a week, you'll feel better and your health (mental and physical) will improve.
Closed Thread


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
My wife is refusing to work agreatdad Divorce & Family Law 13 04-21-2010 04:42 PM
Ex not willing to work singledad99 Divorce & Family Law 1 02-14-2009 11:39 PM
sick kids & time off work... mcr Parenting Issues 1 12-15-2008 02:48 PM
Ex Spouse Refuses to Work maurice Financial Issues 7 09-03-2008 10:20 AM
Kicked out - no money, no work permit, no help phaidros52 Financial Issues 8 12-07-2005 07:09 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:53 AM.