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Old 12-16-2014, 04:21 PM
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Default Community association/single-mom newsletter wording

I'm a single Dad, so therefore, this caught my attention. Perhaps I'm a little biased then, but I was reading through the community association's newsletter, where I sometimes enroll D at (Mom's neighbourhood), and their mention of their Christmas food hamper program.

That's when I came across this:
Quote:
"Did you know?
Financial Donations of $175.00 pays for all the groceries in a Christmas food hamper for a single
mom and 2 children under 7 years old. Mom has money to spend for Christmas and you receive..."
I found it weird at first, reading it worded in this manner (perhaps that is OD forums influence on me), but then thought afterwards, when I deal with folks there, at the centre, it is always much older folks, manning the "front desk", so perhaps it's a generation thing, or a mindset, and maybe some of these same folks write the newsletter? Who knows.

I wrote them, in a pleasant way (I believe so anyway), to perhaps suggest a change in wording to single-parent. Tried to paint it as a "hmm... I never noticed this before, but in hindsight, I wonder if the wording should be changed to try and be more inclusive and reflect everyone who makes use of this great program." suggestion.
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Old 12-16-2014, 05:02 PM
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Good for you for being prepared to do something about this. I'd copy your letter and send it to the minister of the church outlining your concerns. Maybe the minister can do a sermon one Sunday and talk about how poverty affects many, not just single mothers. You might even go so far as to suggest "individuals as well as families in need" - this would cover the gay/lesbian/transgender community as well.
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Old 12-16-2014, 05:07 PM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
... I'd copy your letter and send it to the minister of the church outlining your concerns...
This one isn`t church affiliated. It`s strictly a neighbourhood association. I guess they may have ties to the city too?

I think I'll just stick with having my suggestion sent to them. It's not my neighbourhood association, otherwise I may suggest more, as I'm sometimes involved in that one, but this one I saw the newsletter is strictly "I sometimes sign my daughter up there", in Mom's neighbourhood.
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Old 12-16-2014, 08:52 PM
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As a single dad, I notice these things around me as well! I feel I am not taken as seriously when I ask for accommodations or help, as maybe a single mom left with children might have been. Especially in the field of work I am in and the union which is old school and protect seniority before looking after my rights.

I feel as if asking for help or accommodation might be looked at differently towards me than if a woman were to do it. The only situation where I seem to have success useing it was asking for a family doctor, I said I was a single father of 2 young girls to the lady at the front desk, and could not find a doctor for last few years for my children and whammo, I got a call 2 weeks later. Just my experience and feelings over the past couple of years....especially the police incidents...if they involved me instead of the wife or mil, I am sure I would be treated at least a little differently, which I expect to a point because of the strength difference. Fortunately My patience has prevailed so far...sorry about the rant lol.

Its amazing how you notice those wordings that are not fair to your situation when your in it!
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Old 12-17-2014, 06:19 PM
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There are fewer "single mom's" than society portrays. I'm not of the opinion that women receiving spousal or child support are really "single". In fact, they get all of the benefits of the marriage financially and have one less person to cook for and clean.

I detest the "single mom" term. Its over used and out of context most times.
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Old 12-17-2014, 07:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
There are fewer "single mom's" than society portrays. I'm not of the opinion that women receiving spousal or child support are really "single". In fact, they get all of the benefits of the marriage financially and have one less person to cook for and clean.

I detest the "single mom" term. Its over used and out of context most times.
Bingo... single mom my ass.
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Old 12-22-2014, 08:31 PM
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I saw an ad posted all over Loblaws Super Center a few years ago. It was around September when school starts and the posters all over the store read.
"Busy Mom's know ______"
I made a complaint to the manager, suggested as a single father having to defend myself through a 14 day trial to remain involved in our children's lives. And successing. That I found the posters offensive.
I went back a week later and the signs were still up.
I don't shop are the Super Center anymore.
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Old 12-22-2014, 08:54 PM
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I used to bristle at the "divorced" or "single" boxes one checks off from time to time. Same with the "Mrs", "Ms" or "Miss"

Well I'm not married so therefore I am single. I do not like the "divorced" stigma even though it may more accurately reflect my current situation. I don't care to add to someone's database. Many, many years ago it was a plus to be known as a "Mrs" simply for credit-granting purposes (it was assumed that if you were female you had no earnings and therefore being a "Mrs" you had the benefit of the "Mr" in your household). One of the first jobs I had in the 70's as a teenager was at the Hudsons Bay Credit department. It was forbidden to give a woman a credit card in her own name if she got married. She had to change her name on the card and the husband had to approve of the card. LOL

As time goes on I am bothered less and less by the whole thing. I know who I am.

I think it is a good thing that you point this out Involved Dad. I think that people are generally well-intentioned and can perhaps use wrong wording without much thought.

... now if could get the dry cleaners to smarten up. I get totally irritated with the "men's shirts" and "ladies blouses"/"men's trousers" and "women's pants" thing. Ridiculous.
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