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Old 05-18-2011, 01:55 PM
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Default Can't even rely on my only sibling for support

I would just like to express my disappointment in my only sibling, my older brother and his girlfriend. They seem to make my life, separation, custody and financials their no. 1 topic of interest.
I have never been close to my brother until I got separated and needed my big bro for support. I spilled my guts and my feeling and was completely honest about my sad life as a married women. He looked like he finally would care to support me and showed that he had my best interest at heart..So I thought...
Me and my boyfriend helped my brother "escape" his marriage by helping him secretly leave his ex wife and support him in his new life with his new girlfriend.
Now, I find out that my brother has never been supportative in anything that I ever did. He dug and dug (or his girlfriend) dug and dug for information on me, as if my life was such an interesting one to get involved in, instead of focusing on his own mess of a life.
Now he's going around telling, who ever will listen, that I live this corrupt life full of lies and is trying to prove that I am a liar....
the funny thing is that wehaven't spoken for a year and don't even live in the same province.. How sad is that!!
I have spilled my guts in this forum, made great friends who support me so much deeper then my own brother would. I am just so hurt that my own flesh and blood (sibling) is not there for me,
and I am greatful that I have found amazing "new" supportive friends from this forum.. Thank you... everyone here deserves to find such supportive friends like I did. Sad that they aren't even related..
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:42 PM
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Hey;

Whats that saying?? Something about when you're down and out, you find out who your true friends are?

I went through the same sort of thing. My sister, who couldn't stand my ex when I was married to her, became the best of friends when we split. Even going so far as to a) let her move in with her after we sold the house and b) fed her information on what me and my new spouse were doing, or what my position/plans in regards to negotiations with her were, making my 2 year court battle a fricken nightmare.

I basically had to tell her it was my X or me. She stopped talking to my X (or saying she had anyways) after that, but took up bashing my new spouse. I finally cut off all ties with her last summer when the final straw was drawn (again, spreading untruths about my current spouse).

You know, we don't get to pick family, but we do get to pick friends. Just because you share blood, doesn't mean you share values. cut your sibling off and rely on your friends. Surround yourself with people who want to help you, not hurt you. You'll come out on top in the end. Like mine, your sibling must be a pretty miserable person to kick you when you are down.

Chin up.. Move on with your head held high!!
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Old 05-18-2011, 03:55 PM
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Default Thanks for the advice

andagain,

Thank you for your story It seem to be happening more and more often that when we are down, friends step up to the plate and help, NOT our family members.
I truly believe that family is the worst enemy when times get tough, they seem to disappear or start shit.
Some people really need to get a life...
And again, another friend from this forum steps up to the plate, and gives support

Thank you
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Old 05-18-2011, 09:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamoosha View Post
I would just like to express my disappointment in my only sibling, my older brother and his girlfriend. They seem to make my life, separation, custody and financials their no. 1 topic of interest.
I have never been close to my brother until I got separated and needed my big bro for support. I spilled my guts and my feeling and was completely honest about my sad life as a married women. He looked like he finally would care to support me and showed that he had my best interest at heart..So I thought...
Me and my boyfriend helped my brother "escape" his marriage by helping him secretly leave his ex wife and support him in his new life with his new girlfriend.
Now, I find out that my brother has never been supportative in anything that I ever did. He dug and dug (or his girlfriend) dug and dug for information on me, as if my life was such an interesting one to get involved in, instead of focusing on his own mess of a life.
Now he's going around telling, who ever will listen, that I live this corrupt life full of lies and is trying to prove that I am a liar....
the funny thing is that wehaven't spoken for a year and don't even live in the same province.. How sad is that!!
I have spilled my guts in this forum, made great friends who support me so much deeper then my own brother would. I am just so hurt that my own flesh and blood (sibling) is not there for me,
and I am greatful that I have found amazing "new" supportive friends from this forum.. Thank you... everyone here deserves to find such supportive friends like I did. Sad that they aren't even related..
I too have experienced betrayal from blood. I can truly relate. It is the worst broke feeling in that I've felt. Unfortunately the scum bag that portrayed me has made the worst mistake in their lives. That person will die a lonely and broken person. I will be there only to piss on their grave.
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Old 05-18-2011, 10:19 PM
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LostFather

Sorry you had to experience such a disappointment in your life with blood. You think that they would be the ones that stand by and support us...Wow, how sad
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Old 05-19-2011, 02:04 AM
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Yeah, happens. However, best not to involve the extended family into the adjudication, unless its for positive support or wisdom. Most people I think would rather not be involved.
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Old 05-19-2011, 12:48 PM
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I think sometimes family members are in competition and thrive on it when their siblings fail at something (marriage).. This way they can feel superior.. That seems to be the case with my sibling.. As I said, she couldn't stand my X until we split.. How weird is that??
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Old 05-19-2011, 12:58 PM
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Oh wow, I'm shocked. I thought I was the only one and never thought someone would actually post this type of situation being afraid I would get the response from two regular members who think this called "whinning". Having been in the same situation, I have always wondered, what exactly do they have to gain by getting involved, lying, except causing more conflicts in the extended family. My lawyer said it was out of "desperation".
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Old 05-19-2011, 04:06 PM
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lilspinx

I wish that was my problem. I have never involved my sibling in any of my business ever!! but it's funny...now there there seems to be a huge interest with my separation. If I'm working, how much money, if any, am I getting, the kids, bla bla bla..
They need a new hobbie
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Old 05-19-2011, 05:58 PM
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your are so right. You think they would have something better to do. My intention was to never involve them, but didn't know when they asked questions, being a normal thing to do, what they would do with the information at a later date. Actually, it wasn't even the info. I gave that surfaced later but fabricated story. what can I say, ome people have better imagination than others.
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