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General Chat This forum is for discussing anything that doesn't fit into another forum, or for discussing things that are off topic, or just for general venting.

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  #71 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2010, 10:31 AM
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Originally Posted by rwm1273 View Post
Lets back it up a bit. About three months before I went down to get the health care card, and was told they would not give it to me, and they suggested I talk with the ex.

The ex had previously refused to give me the card or numbers.

I went to court, and the judge said I should just go to the health office and get it, which my lawyer explained the problem I had with that. And also how I was not getting any info about the kids or when they had been to the doctor or any other health issues.

So we get a court order, which cost me about $3K, and took me several months to get into court for.

So now armed with the court order and the order that showed I have joint custody, I go to the health care office. I sit down with the lady, put the orders down in front of her to prove my case, and she pulls up the information on the computer. It was at this point we started to talk about the problems I had been having getting the health care card. Then she says I am not entitled to the cards. I asked why and this is when she got into the sexist crap.

I explained that I had a court order for the information, and she didn't care. She went on about the fact that she does not have to give me anything, and only the mother is entitled to the information. I had the orders in front of me, and she didn't care to even open them. Just went on about how only the mother is entitled to have the card. Only when I pushed the orders into her face did she finally change her attitude, or maybe it was when I explained to her that I was going to make a full complaint.

I did not spend time in our military protecting people's rights to be treated like shit by this person. I have been shot at while wearing our countries uniform, and I get treated like shit from fucks like this?

How would you people feel if the roles were reversed?

Billiechic should be very happy that I most likely not only pissed her off for the day, but most likely the month, as I did make a complaint, and not just to her boss, but to the minister as well. Maybe they have changed their policy.

Also parents are entitled to information about their children. I had every right to have the information, and I should not have had to go through the trouble I had to get it. The money wasted on getting that order would have been better spent on my kids.
Take another read as to the way you're communicating in this post.

"So now armed with the court order..."

"Only when I pushed the orders into her face..."

"I did not spend time in our military protecting people's rights to be treated like shit by this person. I have been shot at while wearing our countries uniform, and I get treated like shit from fucks like this?"

"...I most likely not only pissed her off for the day, but most likely the month, as I did make a complaint, and not just to her boss, but to the minister as well."



I have this picture in my mind of you going in there all military like, combined with a huge "woe is me" chip on your shoulder that says "GENDER BIAS". I could be very wrong here, but methinks you contribute to the treatment you get by insisting on carrying a cross and generally not interacting with people in an amiable manner.

There's just something about the way you come across that rubs me the wrong way. I don't think I'm alone here in that sentiment. Your latest post reinforces the notion in my mind that you are getting what you give.

All that said you do make good contributions to this board. You are obviously well-informed and you are a good communicator. If you only scale back the bitterness and the put down the cross for while, I think you will be much better received.

Or you can keep on keeping on and you will continue to face disagreement and will find yourself always taking the path of most resistance.

Am I wrong?

Last edited by dadtotheend; 10-20-2010 at 10:35 AM.
  #72 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2010, 12:59 PM
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Originally Posted by dadtotheend View Post
Am I wrong?
Nope. Think you hit the target on that one.
  #73 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2010, 06:06 PM
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Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Before I start jumping to conclusions, please explain what you mean by this. I'm not sure if you are putting a dig in on me, or if you are appealing to my sense of justice. If it's the sense of justice, then you are very astute, as it is one of my greatest assets and flaws.

It does sound like a crap situation. Your original explanation should have mentioned that you showed her the court order right away, and this "debate" would never have happened.
the way he made it sound he got into the argument with her and then after a while pulled out the order. Now he is saying he gave it to her right at the start?? Something is fishy.
  #74 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2010, 06:07 PM
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Nope. Think you hit the target on that one.
yep he came across to me as a person with a chip the size of a redwood on his shoulder.
  #75 (permalink)  
Old 10-20-2010, 08:59 PM
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Perhaps I should have posted more info initially however I did not expect to have such a reaction from so many here. The issue was about health cards, and I had something valid to post. My post about it was very short.

I had a court order for a health card, because I was having problems with getting one, and had difficulty getting the service provider to give me what ALL parents should have. This again turned into a big debate with several here, who just want to label me as some angry man. There is nothing fishy about it. Perhaps if I had just pushed the court order in the ladies face instead of putting them on the desk, I would not have had such a debate with her then, and you people now. I do not know why she refused to give me the cards and got into such a state with me. She was very nice to me for the first several minutes until she read the computer screen. But once again why should a man be treated like shit like that in the first place? Are we not equal? And yes parents are entitled to the information, there is nothing in FOIP that says you are not permitted to your children's health cards if you are the parent. It is only in how some interpret the FOIP laws that causes the problems.

But perhaps instead of everyone jumping on me as usual, perhaps give me a little benefit of the doubt. I am not an asshole looking for a fight. Too many here like to find fault in anything I say, and rarely actually read what I say or take it in the context of what was being said at the time. But I will take some blame for not being absolutely clear in what I sometimes post, but then again I don't think everyone needs to be held to that high of a standard do we? Several of the hardest people on me have given me credit for some of what I say, but in that same credit comes harsh words about me being too bitter. I agree initially my first few days may have been a bit harsh, but I have toned it down. Too bad some of the others have not seen that, and continue to jump on me, which leads into several pages of back and forth crap. Yes I know how to communicate, and yes I do know a fair amount of the law dealing with family courts. Yes I will defend myself.

I rarely go into any meeting unprepared. I also do not go in half cocked, but I will stand up for my rights, and since I have been through an awful lot in my life dealing with my ex, I do know how to defend myself, and I do not need to yell or make threats. I have succeeded in dealing with Alberta MEP, Alberta Child and Family Services, The RCMP, The city police, my kid's schools, their doctors, and the courts. Despite how each of these agencies initially treated me, they have all provided me with documentation to use in my defense in court. I would not have such strong documentation if I was ignorant, or an angry bitter man, and I definately would not have gotten custody of my kids.

Many people think I am a success story because I have custody of my kids now. The reality of the situation is my kids have lost out because of all the problems. My ex has lost out because she has been fixated on trying to force me out of their lives, her last little child has missed out on many things because my ex has been too busy trying to find fault with me and my wife. My wife has lost out because this family law problem has caused her immigration problems. I have lost out on my career and my health has suffered due to the stress of 7 years of hell.

What does make me angry is that if the courts were forced to apply 50/50 at the beginning of my divorce, we all would have been much better off. And before any of you go on about why I don't have 50/50 now, it is not because I don't permit it, it is our judge who is against it. She has seen too much of the lies my ex has made. But unfortunately the judge is not doing anything to fix the problems once and for all, and here we are still stuck in the machine.

Last edited by rwm1273; 10-20-2010 at 09:04 PM.
  #76 (permalink)  
Old 12-22-2010, 11:10 PM
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Do not give up, do not do stupid things, like trying to call her, trying to know what she's doing, trying to meet her. Doing things of the above may sound normal thing to you, because you want to help, but in fact it is draining you and will only get you in trouble. If you do not have money to get a lawyer, then go online or call for legal aid, your energy is better spent with a lawyer in your case. Retired OPP or not, they do not have more rights than you, unless you are doing something wrong. Spend your energy at getting legal help, the retired OPP or others will do what the court says and you can even represent yourself!! It is easy to let your feelings or emotions take over, but be strong the right way. The right way is not or almost never the easy way. Good luck
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