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Old 01-22-2017, 11:20 PM
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Hi! Yes I'm angry! This divorce stuff gets me tied in knots.

I have a petty question but I want it in my back pocket if I need it and it's a valid argument.

I'm divorced and prefer to have nothing to do with my ex.

I've remarried and my husband has put my children from my past marriage on his benefits. I have benefits too. My husband has his own business and does not have benefits. Our agreement states that we split the cost of medical bills. My plan covers 40% and my spouse's usually covers the rest. I've paid for braces, glasses, chiro, massage, dental out of pocket and claimed the money back. I don't care and would rather just go on with no contact with my ex but he keeps coming at me with piddly demands. He had one dentist bill in 6 years ($200) and wanted half because that was our agreement.
Is my ex husband entitled to my husband's benefits? If I pay 40% through benefits, should we not "split" the rest of every medical expense regardless how the bill was paid?


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Old 01-23-2017, 12:39 AM
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I think you wrote "husband" when you meant "ex-husband" for one of the times you mentioned your husband.

What I think you are asking:

Cost of medical thing: $1000
Amount covered by your benefits: $400
Amount covered by your spouse's benefits: $600
Amount covered by ex-husband benefits: $0

So, it cost you zero dollars out of pocket, however if it wasn't for your new husband then it would have cost $600, so you think that ex-husband should give you $300. Is my interpretation correct?

If that were true, you would make a profit every time your kids needed to use any of their benefits. I can imagine that as a public policy there could be some issues with that. Probably not the best idea to incentivize adults to injure children or stepchildren. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you can only collect a percentage of the amount you actually pay, because if the rule was anything else it would be utterly ridiculous.

Since you pay zero, you can collect zero.
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Old 01-23-2017, 06:39 AM
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If it costs you nothing out of pocket because the children are covered why wouldn't you submit it? Regardless of you paying for everything (which technically if you are writing off 100% of the bill through two benefit plans you have paid nothing other than premiums). I suppose you could argue the ex should have to pay for his share of the children's premiums.

I am in the same situation. I have my step kids on my benefits but I couldn't imagine asking my husbands ex to pay for something that was already covered under both our benefits... seems sorta petty to me?


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Old 01-23-2017, 07:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
If it costs you nothing out of pocket because the children are covered why wouldn't you submit it? Regardless of you paying for everything (which technically if you are writing off 100% of the bill through two benefit plans you have paid nothing other than premiums). I suppose you could argue the ex should have to pay for his share of the children's premiums.

I am in the same situation. I have my step kids on my benefits but I couldn't imagine asking my husbands ex to pay for something that was already covered under both our benefits... seems sorta petty to me?


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I believe I mentioned it was petty. I agree. There are other things driving this anger. As I said, I was fine taking care of it all. It just incensed me after thousands of $ in claims I've covered to have my ex come after me for half of a $200 medical expense. Benefits aren't free.


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Old 01-23-2017, 07:41 AM
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Why did he take the kids for the medical treatment then? Why didnt you take them and claim it yourself?
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Old 01-23-2017, 07:56 AM
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so in 6 years all your ex has asked for is half of a 200 bill?? If I was you I would just let that one go. Its a case of picking your battles and 100 bucks isn't a battle I would fight.
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Old 01-23-2017, 08:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockscan View Post
Why did he take the kids for the medical treatment then? Why didnt you take them and claim it yourself?


I was away and something came up with my daughter. He moved to a different town so didn't use our usual places to fill prescriptions


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Old 01-23-2017, 08:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
so in 6 years all your ex has asked for is half of a 200 bill?? If I was you I would just let that one go. Its a case of picking your battles and 100 bucks isn't a battle I would fight.


Actually in 6 years my ex has not had to foot any bills for anything. I pay my benefits and have the kids fully covered. I have done all the appointments and driving (if you have any familiarity with braces you'd understand that's a lot of appointments). And on the occasions where we've gone over the allowable with dentists etc I have just covered it. It's least $1000 over this time. I really don't want to have contact. When this came up I thought this man hasn't had to worry about anything for years. I've told him about the extra expenses. But he's entitled he said.


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Old 01-23-2017, 08:48 AM
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So then bill him for his portion of the net cost of the braces and if its the same amount of your portion of $200 call it even.
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Old 01-31-2017, 01:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
so in 6 years all your ex has asked for is half of a 200 bill?? If I was you I would just let that one go. Its a case of picking your battles and 100 bucks isn't a battle I would fight.
I agree with sidelines, and with your sentiments as well. It's ok to accept your wish to feel petty and get even, but why act on it? What's is the benefit to you and your family?

While I'm not saying your ex (or mine) is a narcisist; I prefer the "gray rock" technique instead of 'no contact' in dealing with them.
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKv77LTKil4)
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