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Old 02-15-2017, 10:59 PM
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Default Another case of woman murdered by her ex. Separated women take note.

Life sentence in Sherwood Park domestic murder | Edmonton Journal

This sort of story just sickens me. I read about this on Yahoo earlier today. Couple were married for 29 years and separated for 3 years. Woman had recently started a new relationship. On the day they were supposed to sign divorce papers he murdered her.

Women have to be very, very careful.
Don't let your guard down for a minute. Invest in up-to-date security system. Get a dog.

Here is another news report with a bit more detail:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmont...ence-1.3984385

Last edited by arabian; 02-15-2017 at 11:05 PM.
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Old 02-15-2017, 11:12 PM
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Sad thing is that these are the most predictable types of homicide and therefor the most preventable. If the idiots who work in family court ( judges, social workers, psychologists, custody assesors and lawyers) actually did a lethality risk assessment on everybody who stood before them, they could prevent a significant amount of these tragedies.

It would only take a few minutes and then interventions could be put in place for protection and therapy.

But no....could you imagine? Family court saving lives instead of destroying them?
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Old 02-15-2017, 11:24 PM
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I believe there were police protection/restraining orders in place.

Not much else the court could do. This was not a case of child custody as the children are adults.

i think women have to take extraordinary care when: contemplating a divorce; throughout the separation period; and even after the divorce. I know I took precautions at the time of my separation and for many years afterwards. My ex didn't seem "right" that last year of our separation and in the early years of our post-divorce litigation. This isn't anything I could have gone to the police with... just a bad feeling. Who knows, perhaps the measures I took to distance myself from my ex saved my life....
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Old 02-15-2017, 11:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stillbreathing View Post
Sad thing is that these are the most predictable types of homicide and therefor the most preventable. If the idiots who work in family court ( judges, social workers, psychologists, custody assesors and lawyers) actually did a lethality risk assessment on everybody who stood before them, they could prevent a significant amount of these tragedies.

It would only take a few minutes and then interventions could be put in place for protection and therapy.

But no....could you imagine? Family court saving lives instead of destroying them?
I'm certain there are people who post on this forum who would fail your "lethality risk assessment"... I would be very interested in reading information on one of these assessments.
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Old 02-15-2017, 11:32 PM
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I have to admit, such things are one of the reasons I haven't put much (well, any) effort into finding a new relationship. I am not sure my ex would react well.
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Old 02-15-2017, 11:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
I have to admit, such things are one of the reasons I haven't put much (well, any) effort into finding a new relationship. I am not sure my ex would react well.
That is just terrible. Sorry to hear that. Can't say as I blame you though. The woman in the case had police protection order and it didn't do her any good. She likely let her guard down.

Make sure you have a good alarm system in your home. I didn't realize how important these things were until my separation. My ex tried to break into the home on a few occasions but I had changed the code. Also, the police were alerted to him as they had to escort him from the home several times prior to our separation. On the outside, to our friends, my ex came across as a laid-back sort of fellow with a great sense of humor... a real charmer. There was another side of him though.

Fear is immobilizing. When the person we spent significant amount of time with becomes a mortal enemy it's time to check out the living situation. I can't imagine how awful it is for woman who have to stay in close physical proximity to the father of their children when the guy is a walking time-bomb. This is likely why so many woman (and some men I suppose) stay in bad, dangerous relationships... we all think it will get better in time.

Same can be said about post-divorce relationships with the father of the children. Many think that with time and distance things will get better. Or not.

You are wise to be wary. Of course you are thinking of your child(ren) and probably think that the world will be better for them if you are in it with them right?

I think you should keep your guard up and let friends and family know your concern so others can help keep vigil and watch your back.
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Old 02-15-2017, 11:58 PM
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The lethality risk assessment was formulated by the death review committee who complied research about women and children who were murdered by their spouses or ex's. I believe it was a list of 25 or 30 common risk factors. Women who scored as low as 4 or 5 of the risk factors had been murdered.

Some that I can remember are:

1. Death threats
2. Controlling behaviour
3. Immenent or actual separation
4. Assault or threatened with a weapon ( knife, stick, etc)
5. Threatened with a gun
6. Stepchild in the home ( sexual jealousy)
7. Substance abuse
8. Dependence on spouse
9. If the woman is afraid she or the children will be killed ( this is one of the strongest predictors)
10. Mental illness in the perpetrator
11. History of criminal activity, trouble with the law
12. History of violence
13. History of breaching court/ restraining orders
14. History of hostage taking/ forcible confinement
15. Jealousy
16. Threats to harm or actually harming animals or pets
17. Threats to harm the children
18. Explosive anger problems

Last edited by Stillbreathing; 02-16-2017 at 12:02 AM.
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Old 02-16-2017, 12:06 AM
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I would think that the controlling behavior and imminent separation would be very big indicators.

Some other factors are religious or cultural factors where women are not encouraged to go outside of their communities for assistance. In fact, they are often shunned by their close family relatives for even hinting that their marriage is violent or that they are afraid.
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