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Old 02-06-2017, 09:16 PM
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Default Angry emails

I was wondering if anybody has had to deal with an ex who is constantly insulting or accusing them during email communication. Unfortunately we have a child so we need to stay in frequent contact. However, she has a short fuse and almost every message contains some sort of nasty statement.

I feel like saying that any further communication that includes insults/accusations will go unresponded. However we are heading towards trial so I'm not sure if that would be a good idea.

Any ideas on how to deal with this kind of angry personality? Any help much appreciated!
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Old 02-06-2017, 09:30 PM
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Mine does that continuously, just realize that it is a mind set and ignore it.

Find the one thing that you can agree with and work with that.
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Old 02-06-2017, 09:53 PM
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trinton has a little shameless behaviour in the past
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I just ignore the non sense and stay respectful in all of my communications. usually they argue to try and prove you don't get along

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Last edited by trinton; 02-06-2017 at 09:55 PM.
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Old 02-06-2017, 10:20 PM
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Default Angry emails

Quote:
Originally Posted by ghostofaman View Post
I was wondering if anybody has had to deal with an ex who is constantly insulting or accusing them during email communication. Unfortunately we have a child so we need to stay in frequent contact. However, she has a short fuse and almost every message contains some sort of nasty statement.



I feel like saying that any further communication that includes insults/accusations will go unresponded. However we are heading towards trial so I'm not sure if that would be a good idea.



Any ideas on how to deal with this kind of angry personality? Any help much appreciated!


My rule of thumb is does this require an answer (is this a question) and if not she gets no reply.


A judge once told me during a CC no communication is better than bad communication.

I live by this now

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Old 02-07-2017, 11:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghostofaman View Post
I was wondering if anybody has had to deal with an ex who is constantly insulting or accusing them during email communication. Unfortunately we have a child so we need to stay in frequent contact. However, she has a short fuse and almost every message contains some sort of nasty statement.

I feel like saying that any further communication that includes insults/accusations will go unresponded. However we are heading towards trial so I'm not sure if that would be a good idea.

Any ideas on how to deal with this kind of angry personality? Any help much appreciated!
Read this book and watch this video:

https://www.amazon.ca/Biff-Responses.../dp/1936268353

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i81fo0j4l6A
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Old 02-07-2017, 11:45 AM
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rockscan will become famous soon enough
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Step 1: read the email
Step 2: determine if there is a question requiring yes or no response
Step 3: respond yes or no in ten words or less
Step 4: put email in folder
Step 5: walk away from computer
Step 6: praise a deity that you are no longer married to the crazy

Example:

Dear jerk, i hate your guts and hope you die. You were a rotten husband who ruined my life. Can you pick up the kids from school on Friday instead of my house? I will never forgive you for ruining my life. Even my neighbours hate you for cutting the grass wrong. You are a useless piece of crap. Sincerely, crazy ex wife.

Response: yes i will be at the school.

See?
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Old 02-07-2017, 12:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post


I took the jfs new ways conflict resolution this summer they use this as well. BIFF!

Brief
Informative
Friendly
Factual

Good tool when writing to the OP.

Great link Tayken!!!


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Old 02-07-2017, 01:58 PM
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Thanks for the great (and hilarious) responses - going to buy that book and not take the bait. Really appreciate the advice!
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Old 02-07-2017, 03:11 PM
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Here's some language I found useful in the past. Following rockscan's example:

Dear stripes,

You are a despicable person who wants to mess up all living things on earth. Your touch causes houseplants to wither and I hold you responsible for the death of my girlfriend's rabbit. Plus, you are really stupid and obsessed with satanism. I would like to take Kid on vacation in June, will you swap weeks with me? By the way, there's an entire chapter about you in the DSM because you're crazy.


Sincerely, ex

****************

Dear ex,

I do not read or respond to messages which contain insults or degrading language. If there is something you would like me to know, please re-send that information in a message which is civil.

Sincerely, stripes

****************

Dear stripes,

I would like to take Kid on vacation in June, will you swap weeks with me?

Sincerely, ex

****************

Dear ex,

Yes, I am willing to swap weeks with you. Please provide me with the dates of your planned trip.

Sincerely, stripes
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Old 02-07-2017, 03:16 PM
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This is what I wasn't sure about - Should I address the nasty language and tell them that I won't respond to it, or should I just answer the question and ignore the hateful crap around it?
I've tried asking her to be polite but that didn't go over well at all.
I don't have very thick skin and the constant accusations are getting to me..
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