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Old 11-21-2011, 09:54 PM
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Default Am I being unreasonable?

I bought my ex out of the house...he got his new place last week.

Although knowing for 3 weeks that he was moving, he did not pack up even 1 room completely. I have pack all the things the kids want at his house (toys, books) and am even packing his clothes etc. Within 2 days of it being my house, he let himself in without my knowledge while I was at sports with the kids (he knew I wouldn't be home) - tracked dirt all over the house, left all the lights on, didn't lock up after himself. On the weekend, came by with a moving truck (which was arranged) but didn't even take all the packed boxes and left the house a mess, even scratched a couple of floors and dented a wall moving furniature.

According to the seperation agreement, he has 6 weeks to pack and move all his possessions. I informed him that I got the locks changed today and he could come and move his possessions when he wanted but needed to arrange with me first (i.e. give me notice and do it when I am home). He flipped, asked for a house key so that he could come whenever he wanted. I refused - stated it was my house and he needed to arrange with me before hand, not just come in whenever he wants.

Am I being unreasonable? I just cant have him destroy the house at will and do not trust what he will take (going through the few boxes he did pack, I found items that he was not supposed to take). I have ensured him that I will be flexible but cannot give him free reign.
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Old 11-21-2011, 10:44 PM
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No, I don't find any of that unreasonable. You gave him a chance to be reasonable and he hasn't, so you are just reacting. Changing the locks and making sure you are there to monitor him is a consequence of his disrespectful behaviour.
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Old 11-22-2011, 06:32 AM
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why six weeks to move?? In my agreement once he had the money that was it, anything he let was considered mine to dispose of how i wished.

You are not being unreasonable, he is. He has already shown he cannot be trusted to not damage your house and to be responsible. Why should you take anymore risk? If I was you I would pack his stuff and leave in in a room close to the front door. Make a list of what you put in each box and maybe take pictures of the stuff.
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Old 11-22-2011, 07:14 AM
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Have a garage? A shed? Put the stuff in there, and give him whatever time is left on the agreement to get it out of there. Anything left past that date will be disposed of.
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Old 11-22-2011, 12:30 PM
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I'd say, even go so far as to itemize the shit, and have him SIGN OFF.. for 3 years in court, I listened to my ex (an his lying lawyer) say he got NOTHING FROM THE HOUSE.. funny - a whole truckload left.. I should've taken pics, and had a signature.. I have always regretted that, b/c if I had a buck for every time I heard the sob story of how he left with nothing, I'd be doing alright PS: the GARAGE IDEA IS GOOD.. but then he may piss and moan about moisture or some other far-fetched complaint. HAVE ANOTHER ADULT WITH YOU WHEN PRINCE CHARMING COMES TO COLLECT HIS WARES..
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