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Old 08-03-2009, 06:16 PM
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Question 1st Court Case

I have been seperated from my sons father since June 2006 in which we mutualy seperated and I got an apt Sept 2006 with my then 10 month old son.

In May 2008 his father decied to move to Calgary, Alberta (we were and still are in Northern, Ontario) in Sept 08 I took a trip out there so our son and him could see each other again.

When the girlfriend he moved out there to be with decied to kick him out he came to stay with us for aprox 2 weeks at the end on Dec 08 and begining of Jan 09 tellnig us he was gonig ot make a life here again and be there for our son. He then met a girl and moved to Sarnia, Ontario Jan 09 once again leaving his son.

I have never denied him access to our son while he was in Northeren, Ontario where we live and even when he moved away to Calgary he was still always welcome to come visit and I even brought our son to him once in an attempt to keep him involved.

Since he has been in Sarnia Jan 09 he demads that our son visit with him for a week or 2 week and even a months time to which I have denied. As I feel that given our son is now almost 4 year old and has not had contact with his father other than a few phone calls in over a years time it is not best for him to go. That it would be best if his father came to visit him a few times and realy made an effort to call and know about him and his life before he takes him for a weekened and with time a week and up to 2 weeks time. (as far as I know thats what most juges will award a parent who has moved away)

He says its "stupid of me" and that our son will be "just fine" and that he has a right as his father to have him "when he wants" and threatened to show up and take him, tellnig me I had better be prepaired.

So of course I filed an affidavit stateing that his father was involved and took him most wekends from ruffly 1-2 years old and was somewhat involved untill he moved in May 2008 and has yet to become involved and establish a relationship once again with our son. Also that I would like sole custody as he seems to be unstable and moves frequently with no reasons pertaining to our son and that I would like him to become involved again and visit often and then be able to take our son often when not in school ect.

To which he replied with an answer form of outlandish accusations stating I could not and am not a good mother as our son's in day care and such includeing my lack of education being a huge factor in me being unable to raise and teach our son. (I have only grade 8 and yet have had our son in my primary care including all dicistion making since birth and ultimatly 10 months of age and continusly recive commplments on our sons behavior, knowlage ect.)

He has now found a way to not attend court saying i'll find out tomorrow when our court date is . My guess is that by him filing the amount of papers he did he then made the case too complicated to even begin into in hte aprox 10 mins we get with the judge in our first court date and as far as I can guess has postponed the court date to a later date.

Heres my question does he really have a chance at gaining joint custody and having our son for a month in the summer and 2 weeks asap as he is demanding and asking the court for as our son starts school Sept 2009 ?? Or is there a good chance I will get sole custody as I have been the primary caregiver since Sept 2006 and as he hasn't really been involved since May 2008 ?

Ps, Sorry for the length of this post but very gratfull to those whom answer
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Old 08-03-2009, 06:37 PM
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first off my mother only had 6 months of grade nine and she was a good mother. I totally agree with you, the contact has not been consistant in the past and you just want your child to get use to the ex before you allow him to leave for two weeks. The man may be the childs father but he is also a stranger to him. Just tell him you want to take it slow as to not overwhelm the child. Once you see how a weekend goes then you can decide on a week etc.
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Old 08-19-2009, 08:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
first off my mother only had 6 months of grade nine and she was a good mother. I totally agree with you, the contact has not been consistant in the past and you just want your child to get use to the ex before you allow him to leave for two weeks. The man may be the childs father but he is also a stranger to him. Just tell him you want to take it slow as to not overwhelm the child. Once you see how a weekend goes then you can decide on a week etc.
Thank you for your understanding
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Old 08-19-2009, 09:04 PM
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An update my sons father did not show up for our 1st court date and instead found away around it by claimnig he is to disable (which he was actualy claimed ot be legaly blind however at that time he also worked taking apart train parts, cleannig them and putting them back together for several the months he was in Calgary and also took 4 Greyhound bus trips in the same amonut of tiem, so his claim to be unable is crap especaily sicne he can still text msh and is on the computer frequesnlty) as he is on assistance unable to pay the travel fair from Sarnia to Northern Ontario and is also without a place to stay if in Northern Ontario. We now have a court casse/settlement confrence schedualed for October. I have told him that on that date we will be pretty much supervised as we try to agree on access dates and custody for our son, to which he is being silly about. I've said he can have all long weekends and all school vacations even the entire week of march break provided he has seen our son at least 3 times prior to him taking him for an entire week. That he and i share the summer with our son with 2 week intervals. And that he simple keep his sleep schedual ect the same as here at home when school is on ect .He finds this pointles and demands that he have him teh whole march break no matter what and 1 week of xmas and the month of July and half of Aug 2010 even if he hasnt seen him once before such dates. He also feels its a "waste of money" to only take him for a long weekend. Truly he beilves i will have to help pay for travel even thoghut i have never moved out of the city were in sicnce our son was born and he has movedtwice even as far as out of province! ...What do you think he will really be able to get and what kind of stipulations do you think i should ask for?
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Old 08-19-2009, 09:18 PM
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Oops forgot to add that at our case .settlement confrence he will also not be phisicaly present and rather on the telephone for the entire thing! It boggles me how a mother trying to protect and be reasonable for her son has to attend everything but the father in which is being vindictive, petty and unreasonable can get away with never attending a court date?
ps sorry for all the bad grammer and spellnig im pretty upset right now so i'm not even loking it over :P
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Old 08-20-2009, 07:23 AM
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there are many versions of being legally blind but if he can take apart train pieces and put them back together, use a computer and text then I would be thinking that he would not fall under any version of legally blind. Maybe visual impaired, but not legally blind.

The summer at two week intervals sounds like a good idea. the entire week of march break and every long weekend is also generous. I am not sure about the seeing him 3 times before he gets to take him for a week though. Not that I do not agree with you because of his history before. Maybe he has to see him three times before the first time in order for the child to get use to him before a week long thing. After that I am not sure. If he starts getting consistent with his visits then it should be better.

As for the sleep thing I am not sure about that. Sure you want to be consistent with the childs schdule but sometimes you have to be flexible. We had a later bedtime in the summer and for the extended school breaks. In the summer about a week before school started my mother would gradually move our bedtime until it was what she considered "school time bedtime" It was good because we had the extra time to get use to the idea of an earlier bedtime instead of the night before school hitting the bed earlier.
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