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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

View Poll Results: What was the main reason for your relationship breakdown?
Financial issues 61 22.85%
Inactive parent 34 12.73%
Different parenting styles 37 13.86%
Clashing personalities 79 29.59%
Addiction (gambling, alcohol, drugs) 54 20.22%
Spousal and/or child abuse 53 19.85%
Other 111 41.57%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 267. You may not vote on this poll

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 12-04-2008, 07:50 AM
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Spousal abuse, child abuse, and financial issues.....terrified to see my 7 year old son starting to act like his father in total lack of respect for women.
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Old 12-12-2008, 10:19 PM
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I divorced him because I don't like his girlfriend.
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Old 12-13-2008, 06:06 AM
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financial issues, different personalities,
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Old 12-24-2008, 08:44 PM
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I'm seeing a lot of my own answers up here - all better put than I was going to write.
Peggy nailed it back in 2006 (which coincidentally is when I discovered my ex husbands 6th?7th? girlfriend). Different parenting styles, narcissistic personality, egocentric surrounding the penis and definately financial.
Infidelity was the nail in the coffin though.
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Old 12-26-2008, 04:58 PM
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Default Don't get alon

We argue all the time and there was no way out of it. I am sorry for the divorce and I wish I can fix it but he wants me to admit that everthing went wrong is my fault and it is not true
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 12-29-2008, 01:21 PM
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Alcohol.

The message I have entered is too short so I added this.
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 12-29-2008, 11:48 PM
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Mine was a culmination of things. Years of verbal and emotional abuse, he was very controlling until he had no choice but to allow me back into the workforce due to financial hardship. After that I had an inkling that something was going on between him & our nanny (17 years his junior.. aged 17 to 18 when living with us). I had them leave in August 2005, they moved in together & she was pregnant with their first child together by January 2006!

It's taken me a long time to move past the abuse, the self-esteem issues, the control, but every day I get stronger. I have had severe trust issues for the last 3 years, and recently started seeing someone I have known as an acquaintance for a couple years. It's a new world for me, and for the children as there is no yelling, no fighting, no confusion. They adore him, and he adores them.
There really is a lot to look forward to if you first take the time to find yourself again, and re-learn that you have more strength and abilities than you ever thought you did. It's so worth it to wait.

Best of luck to everyone.
  #28 (permalink)  
Old 01-18-2009, 12:28 PM
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I am still very sad about ourbreak-up. Our doughter is a year, and there was a real lack of interest on my ex's part. He didn't feel it was necessary to engage much with her when she was young because she didn't engage back. He is also a workaholic who rarely made time for us, and often just came home in the evening to eat, and then went back to work. I tried to be supportive, but taking care of our daughter, who never slept well and left me exhauted daily, walking our high energy dog, cooking, cleaning, shopping and doing laundry left me feeling so unlike my old self. I asked him for time to my self, but I never got it, not once. His work needs were always first.
What's sad now is that he makes time for her per his visitation schedule, and is actually spending one on one time with her, which I am happy about. If he had just made that time for us before I don't think I would have become so unhappy.
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Old 01-18-2009, 09:21 PM
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In my husband's case they were too young, and having their first child sent him into the "we ned to make more money" panic, so he started driving truck long haul. all went well for about 3 yrs, then she moved in with her boyfriend, then moved back. They tried to work things out, but when she had a suspicious second pregnancy and confessed to cheating with her boyfriend in the marital home it was tough. She eventually left for good.
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Old 01-19-2009, 09:45 AM
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I answered clashing personalities, but that would include parenting styles. We always argued on this, we simply don't have the same values. The problem is, it's not necessarily easier to deal with once you're separated. We are both still parents, and we don't agree more...
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