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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

View Poll Results: What was the main reason for your relationship breakdown?
Financial issues 61 22.85%
Inactive parent 34 12.73%
Different parenting styles 37 13.86%
Clashing personalities 79 29.59%
Addiction (gambling, alcohol, drugs) 54 20.22%
Spousal and/or child abuse 53 19.85%
Other 111 41.57%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 267. You may not vote on this poll

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  #171 (permalink)  
Old 11-28-2012, 11:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peggy View Post
I don't know if a marriage ever breaks down for one single reason.
So true! For me it was a build up of multiple issues as well: finances, division of labour; disagreement over having children or not; my Ex's addiction issues; my obsession with my career... But I guess the biggest killer was problems communicating with one another... Made it hard to talk about all the other stuff that wasn't working. My Ex wasn't interested in counseling. Things just got worse and worse over time.
  #172 (permalink)  
Old 11-29-2012, 12:38 PM
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We led entirely separate lives. He was consumed with business and success, and spent very little time with the children and I. Ultimately his business failed as well as the marriage.
By the time that I left I was completely void of feelings for him.
I certainly hope to find a true partnership where there is equality and a mutual respect for one another...and I think that I may have found that person
  #173 (permalink)  
Old 11-30-2012, 10:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Troubled in TO View Post
We led entirely separate lives. He was consumed with business and success, and spent very little time with the children and I. Ultimately his business failed as well as the marriage.
Based on your comment below, it doesn't sound like you respected your partner. You technically do have "separate lives" as you are unique and individual people. Just because you are married to someone it doesn't mean that every aspect of your lives are enmeshed. In fact, some would say that distance is needed in a relationship for it to work.

In fact, many relationships break down because one party is dependent on the other for their entire "emotional health and well being". They are unable to find themselves, meet their own objectives and life and often project blame at their personal happiness, which was well within their control as a unique and individual human, on the other partner.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Troubled in TO View Post
By the time that I left I was completely void of feelings for him.
But, the person in question is still a parent to the children. This is a strong statement to make about the parent to the children. I recommend you really double check if you are "void" of feelings for the other parent in the matter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Troubled in TO View Post
I certainly hope to find a true partnership where there is equality and a mutual respect for one another...and I think that I may have found that person
If you apply the same rules that you had with your other partner... You may find yourself in the same place again.

Good Luck!
Tayken
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