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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

View Poll Results: What was the main reason for your relationship breakdown?
Financial issues 61 22.85%
Inactive parent 34 12.73%
Different parenting styles 37 13.86%
Clashing personalities 79 29.59%
Addiction (gambling, alcohol, drugs) 54 20.22%
Spousal and/or child abuse 53 19.85%
Other 111 41.57%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 267. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-26-2006, 03:17 PM
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Default What was the main reason for your relationship breakdown?

Hi all,

I wanted to hear from our members what they feel was the main reason for their relationship breakdown. It would be interesting to see whether the breakdown was inevitable, or whether the main issue was something that could be worked on, but it simply wasn't the right place or the right time.

Please feel free to elaborate, especially if you think there was an "other" issue that resulted in your breakup.

Last edited by Lindsay; 06-26-2006 at 04:01 PM.
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Old 07-12-2006, 07:40 PM
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Default Other Reason

Infidelity
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Old 07-13-2006, 10:51 PM
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Unhappy Main Reasons

Our relationship had lots of problems it wasn't just one specific problem. There was financial difficulties, parenting issues, division of labour issues as well as substance abuse issues . We were in marriage counselling on and off for almost a year. There was substantial trust issues that arose from the finances as well as the substance abuse. There was nothing left for me to do as he was just not willing to be an equal partner. We have now been separated for 6 months.
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Old 07-14-2006, 09:31 AM
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That's quite a lot to have to deal with scrapmom

I think a lot of new members will get some comfort in knowing that their separation, like yours, is not a result of something they did or didn't do. Sometimes things simply don't work out, especially when there is a lack of team effort. Thanks so much for giving us your input.

Lindsay
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Old 07-14-2006, 09:53 AM
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Mine was sexual incompatibility for the most part, I don't see that as infidelity when one partner looses interest, or does not grow in sync with the other. My guess is thats where most "infidelity" originates from, but I realize that's bold statement (now ducking the darts thrown at me)
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Old 07-15-2006, 09:29 PM
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My wife suffers from depression and anger issues. This has translated into verbal and emotional abuse toward my two children from a previous marriage. Additionally, she has been abusive toward me physically as well as verbally and emotionally.

As a side note, when I asked the police what would happen if a woman 5'2" "beat up" a man 6', they stated "when we stop laughing we will make a report.

Subsequently......on another occasion, I asked a male police officer what would happen if a man were accused (note, I did not say was guilty) of domestic violence and he stated that it was a very serious issue and would be thoroughly investigated. Very often he added, people are arrested on very little evidence. While I appreciate that men should not hit women, I think also that people should not hit people and that any violent scenario should be met with equal interest and diligence.
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Old 07-15-2006, 11:13 PM
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Hi Barry Allen,
I just had to comment after reading your posts. My impression of you is a gentleman for two reasons--you didn't retaliate at your wife and after discovering your legal obligations you just accepted it, learned a (very expensive) lession, and thanked everyone for their input.
There really is a double standard in so many aspects of our society. A women 'can' hit a man and the man is the laughing stock of the police station( you should have reported them to their supervisor) yet a man can be accused of hitting a woman and rot in jail until allegations prove otherwise(if this is the case). There is too much abuse in this world and nothing...I mean nothing should be tolerated. I also believe that hitting anyone, man woman or child is wrong. By the way, I'm speaking from a woman's perspective. right is right and wrong is wrong
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Old 08-25-2006, 02:09 PM
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Default mixed messages

Barry:

I had the same situation, my ex threatened her life, my daughters life, and began hitting her head against a wall. when I called the police, i was told, 'get out of the house before u get arrested'. there needs to be a better balance in the system.
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Old 08-28-2006, 10:09 AM
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I don't know if a marriage ever breaks down for one single reason. In my case there were so many issues: financial, emotional abuse, repeated infidelity, lack of interest in parenting, not agreeing on whether to have more children, complete lack of trust in the end.... I don't think I could pick just one of them as the main reason for the breakdown of the relationship - except that each item built up too long so that in the end I was actually happy to leave. No regrets.
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Old 05-06-2007, 08:21 AM
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Infidelity
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