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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-18-2010, 04:44 PM
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Originally Posted by logicalvelocity View Post
As far as an individual going on to start a second family, is rather common this day and age but that does not forgive them for their first family obligations.
However our current child support laws seem to forget that parents have obligations to support the second family too, and often when the second wife sees that the kids from the first family have more money given to them due to child support, then they find out that they would be better off to file for divorce too.

Australia has solved this problem by doing a cost sharing system. It takes the income of both homes, compares the number of children and days each child spends were ever, and calculates the support based on the days the children spend in each home. It makes no difference the number of kids, the parentage of the kids, or the income or relationship of all the parents. It is a household income sharing plan. Not fool proof, but better for all kids, not necisarily for the parents.
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Old 09-18-2010, 09:48 PM
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Originally Posted by asnf View Post
I am smiling as I am finding myself on the opposite side of the table where I am the father trying to protect that little time I have for my child - the mother being uncooperative to have that father-child relationship maintained. At it stands now, she is trying to move my daugther away from me making that access schedule impossible to meet.

asnf, on top of it all he is the one that moved to another province so I understand your plight too. I asked him how will he see the kids if he moved a 3 hour plane ride away and he had no answer.
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Old 09-18-2010, 09:52 PM
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Originally Posted by rwm1273 View Post
Been there and overcame it. Got the kids now. Took 5 years and $200K. 2 years on and another $20K and still rising costs, but the kids are doing better with me now.
Wow, all that money could have been towards the kids. Im glad you are all doing great now!
I do my very best with my boys (3). They are happy and as their teachers say "well adjusted" kids.
It bothers me more I think, than it does them.
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Old 09-18-2010, 09:55 PM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
card vs car hmmm, I think they probably forgive you for the lapse in the birthday card. I know I would LOL!!
I forgive you too...the car is good! LOL
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 09-18-2010, 10:03 PM
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Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
like it has been said many times on this board before, we never hear both sides of the story. Not saying there is ever a good excuse to not see your kids but there are CP out there who will do anything to keep the NCP from the kids including false allegations of abuse etc. Also I am not saying that is the case of the posters in this thread. Sometimes due to lack of funds etc the NCP no longer has the ability to fight and decides to wait until the kids come looking for them so they can explain.

No my dear, this is not so in my case. Though I do not have the time to tell the entire story I will say he willfully moved from our province to another, a 3 hour plane ride away,with no job prospect setup, only to move with the "internet girl" who is probably taking care of him.
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Old 09-18-2010, 10:05 PM
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Wow, all that money could have been towards the kids. Im glad you are all doing great now!
I do my very best with my boys (3). They are happy and as their teachers say "well adjusted" kids.
It bothers me more I think, than it does them.
I did not say I was doing great. Got laid off again on monday. Not much in the line of job prospects here at home. I never was without work when I worked overseas. Wish I could return overseas, or at least move to another city in Canada were there was some reasonable work for me. But ex won't permit that, so kids continue to suffer. No child support from the ex wife either. Last time we were in court to deal with that, she claimed she couldn't pay because she was going to go to school and finish her degree. Still not in school 9 months later. Now looks like we will be having a bilateral home assessment just so the judge will have grounds to finally give her the boot. But that is another $20K hit to the wallet, and since she is on assistance, guess who will most likely need to pay. Added to all this is the fact that when I was paying support to her, Alberta MEP put a writ against me to ensure I would make my support payments.(always did) This writ prevented me from sponsoring my current wife to live in Canada, and therefore work or go to school, not to mention she had to leave every 6 months to renew her visa.

Yes could have paid off the house with the money wasted in court. But she also wasted near as much of tax payers dollars too. And all because she was unreasonable, and continued to cause problems with my access.

I hate Canadian laws. And I am a former Canadian Military member. Treated like a second class citizen.
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Old 09-18-2010, 10:21 PM
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Originally Posted by rwm1273 View Post
I did not say I was doing great. Got laid off again on monday. Not much in the line of job prospects here at home. I never was without work when I worked overseas. Wish I could return overseas, or at least move to another city in Canada were there was some reasonable work for me. But ex won't permit that, so kids continue to suffer. No child support from the ex wife either. Last time we were in court to deal with that, she claimed she couldn't pay because she was going to go to school and finish her degree. Still not in school 9 months later. Now looks like we will be having a bilateral home assessment just so the judge will have grounds to finally give her the boot. But that is another $20K hit to the wallet, and since she is on assistance, guess who will most likely need to pay. Added to all this is the fact that when I was paying support to her, Alberta MEP put a writ against me to ensure I would make my support payments.(always did) This writ prevented me from sponsoring my current wife to live in Canada, and therefore work or go to school, not to mention she had to leave every 6 months to renew her visa.

Yes could have paid off the house with the money wasted in court. But she also wasted near as much of tax payers dollars too. And all because she was unreasonable, and continued to cause problems with my access.

I hate Canadian laws. And I am a former Canadian Military member. Treated like a second class citizen.

Gosh, my heart goes out to you rwm. Just hang in there, thats what Im doing now. I know what you mean when you say "you" are not doing great, thats a lot to deal with.
I find myself frustrated with the laws and the entire justice system too.
The MEP is another story. I had to go straight to the Minister of Justice to get them to start doing anything on my case.
Thank goodness I am getting SOME money now, not all and the arrears are mounting.

I know, we are the ones paying so that people like your ex can sit on assistance. So unfair. I work everyday in pain..(spinal arthritis) to provide for the boys.
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Old 09-18-2010, 10:23 PM
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I am always skeptical when I hear somebody bad-mouth a person with whom they choose to marry and have carnal relations.

I hate these sort of discussions because there never really is an intelligent way to respond without starting a fight. My wife is a complete liar and from her, I learned not to believe anybody. However, I never bad mouth my wife to ANYBODY in real life.

After yelling at me and insulting me in front of our kids, my wife calls up her girlfriends to complain that I am the one who is yelling and insulting her in front of the kids. Meanwhile, I never bad mouth my wife to ANYBODY.


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Originally Posted by IronMama View Post
only to move with the "internet girl" who is probably taking care of him.
Maybe that offers a clue as to where the shared responsibility in this failed marriage lies.
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Old 09-18-2010, 10:37 PM
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Originally Posted by AnarX View Post
I am always skeptical when I hear somebody bad-mouth a person with whom they choose to marry and have carnal relations.

I hate these sort of discussions because there never really is an intelligent way to respond without starting a fight. My wife is a complete liar and from her, I learned not to believe anybody. However, I never bad mouth my wife to ANYBODY in real life.

After yelling at me and insulting me in front of our kids, my wife calls up her girlfriends to complain that I am the one who is yelling and insulting her in front of the kids. Meanwhile, I never bad mouth my wife to ANYBODY.


Maybe that offers a clue as to where the shared responsibility in this failed marriage lies.

Anar, I hear you loud and clear.
No fights here..LOL.
I dont think I "bad-mouthed " him here or any other time to be honest. Just stating the truth.
I completely understand your feelings of anger, and distrust, I have had them too. The "distrust" I have right now in almost everyone, I learned from him.
We must try to overcome, and move on. Its hard but I know I have to do it. You can too.
Peace!
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