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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 11-25-2012, 07:45 PM
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Default What to do now?

Recently separated. Thankfully everything went smoothly with no drama. Now that everything is settled I am feeling a bit lost as to what to do with myself. All of my friends are in relationships. I am hoping to make some new friends but, as weird as this sounds, I am not sure how to go about doing that! I work in a demanding profession and don't have much free time. I am not a fan of the "bar scene". Anyone have any suggestions on a good way to meet some new people?
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Old 11-25-2012, 08:32 PM
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Take up a new hobby. Something you've always wanted to try, or something your friends do that you can be introduced to, then do on your own time. Take a fun college course. Look up interesting things happening in your town, and attend them! If you go in with the idea that it's for fun and for meeting cool people, and not just seeking a new relationship, you can meet new people of all ages.

At least, this is what I've heard is good. Not something I've been able to pursue myself.
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Old 11-25-2012, 09:16 PM
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Does your ex have any siblings?

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Old 11-26-2012, 07:06 AM
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I second giving POF a try. I was in a similar situation, joined POF about a year ago and I'm now in a relationship that's going very well. If nothing else, you'll have the opportunity to chat with interesting people (and some crazies, it's the nature of the beast), who can relate to your situation. There are some I still chat with that I've never met and probably never will, but I would consider them friends.
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Old 11-26-2012, 11:16 AM
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Quote:
I second giving POF a try. I was in a similar situation, joined POF about a year ago and I'm now in a relationship that's going very well. If nothing else, you'll have the opportunity to chat with interesting people (and some crazies, it's the nature of the beast), who can relate to your situation. There are some I still chat with that I've never met and probably never will, but I would consider them friends.
I agree qcfc. I met my current partner on POF almost 3 years ago.

I would recommend a couple of things before you meet anyone from there though. 1) Talk for a good length of time online first. People spill a lot of information online and it will help you determine whether or not you're compatible. 2) See them before you meet them. Use a webcam or something. I have heard MANY stories of the pic not matching up with who actually shows up at the the coffeehouse. And its always a bad scene.

A friend of mine is using a professional dating service...and although spending a lot of money, I'm not sure she's having any increased success. I'd do the "free" route first to see if you have any luck.
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Old 11-26-2012, 07:25 PM
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Thanks for all the suggestions everyone. Definitely going to check out POF!
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Old 11-26-2012, 07:43 PM
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If you meet someone that you find interesting, be very clear about what your expectations are ...to yourself and to the other person.
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Old 11-26-2012, 07:57 PM
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I met my man a little over a year and half ago and couldnt be happier. I second the poster about making it clear what your expectations are. Dont lead anyone on and be careful of the ones that try to lead you on.

I also met another man on there about 3 months before meeting my bf and we have become really good friends.
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Old 11-27-2012, 02:25 PM
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Met my Fiancee on POF 5 years ago. Dated a few other people but I found it important to get to know them by even just chatting. Turned out we lived very close to each other which was a bonus.

Try volunteering, we moved to a new community 2 years ago and for the first year we did not do much. Then I stepped out of my shell and started volunteering weekly, now I have some really great friends in our new area.
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Old 11-28-2012, 12:55 PM
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Yes, you should definitely get out there and try new things.

I met my beau on craigslist and we've been together for over 2 years now. You never know. I detest exercising at the gym but wanted to get in shape so I found some fun ways to get it done, like pole dance classes and rock climbing. Never would have thought to try either before but am glad I did because I've made some good friends and am getting into better shape.

Try checking out meetup.com, there may be some groups there that you'd be interested in.

Good luck!
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