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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 03-17-2006, 05:42 PM
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Friday Nights... Yahooooo
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 03-18-2006, 09:28 AM
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Ok what a great thread

but I think you Ladies forgot a few think like
- not having to pamper the fragile male ego anymore(except your childs)
- not having to fake it anymore
- no more listening to them wine about this or that

Sorry men and I do know this goes both way and I am still a bit angery about the whole thing but now I only have one child to raise instead of two.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 03-20-2006, 10:03 PM
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Hey Jenny

No worries about the bed.... soon you'll be sleeping from corner to corner, then try to share your bed with someone, before you stole all the covers... now you steal all the bed.... ha ha ha...

Peggy
You can still be wrong in discussions, but now your both wrong, when before only one of you was wrong... lol
O and don't make any decorating "disasters" eh...

ha ha ha... I have so much fun you guy's 15 years and going strong, two teenagers (that have managed to stay out of trouble) .... ha ha ha no-bodies caught me yet... and anyway why should I buy the cow when I can milk it..... yup ladies you are in for some fun.... remember to bring your dancing shoes...
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2006, 12:46 PM
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Question Strange feelings

It seems strange to have such strong feeling of the negative as I've read in the postings to the best about divorce. I think we should follow the old saying on how to decrease divorce in making marriage harder to do.

Why did you get married in the first place w/o some idea of what your partner is like? Why would you stay married if circumstances forced changes?

Was the old movie line correct "men marry women hoping that sweet thing won't change and women marry men hoping to change them and they both lose".

Oh well, if you want the bed to yourself, with only an occasional use by others, want to vacuum at 3 am, eat ceral at night, then why bother to marry. Sexually there are technologies which surpass men and women both. For companionship, get a dog. What is the advantaged in marriage outside of taxes?
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Old 03-21-2006, 03:12 PM
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Sure there are benefits( and negatives) to being married socioeconomic, physical and emotional reasons. But I think for most of us here - those aren't enough anymore and instead of focusing on all that we have lost this thread is celebrating all the good that can come out of it. The sleeping alone, being totally in charge of our lives might seem petty but it sure feels great at times. And I want to celebrate that!

I love that saying btw.

Do we always go into marriage with our eyes wide open- no. Do we see what we want to see? yeah a lot of times. It can be a rude awakening if we realize that the person we married changed( or we did) or if we want to slap ourselves for not "seeing" what we were getting into .

I am rambling a bit here. I hope I am getting my point across. There is a great article in this months Glamour Magazine by Kristin Armstrong( ex wife of cyclist Lance) all about the conspiracy of marriage . I will quote from it
"Marriage has the potential to erode the very fiber of your identity. If you aren't careful , it can tempt you to become a "yes woman" for the sake of salvaging your romantic dream. It can lure you into a pattern of pleasing that will turn you into someone you'll hardly recognize and probably wont like. I am warning you because I only wish someone had warned me"
She also talks about how she reveres marriage more at 34 then she did as a bride at 26. Wonderful article.
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Old 03-21-2006, 07:36 PM
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That's a great quote. I hope that women who go through that in a marriage will find themselves again after divorce. And truly discover who they are and were meant to be. In some cases marriage can be suffocating. This can go both ways, for men and women.
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 03-23-2006, 08:34 PM
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Default Ladies!

I'm not divorced...only separated.
Which in turn leaves me to be the black sheep of this thread.
Not only being "only separated" divide's me from the other posts in this thread, but the vary fact the majority of posts relate to male short comings and conversely I would have to oppose the masses of this thread.
Oh if I could only indulge myself with a reply, expressing the various nonconformities and idiosyncrasies of the modern day woman that poised itself in jock itch proportions throughout my life.
Ladies!.......be nice.
Grace....thank you for taking men into consideration in your post.
Your all funny though!

Kind regards,

Chopper
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2006, 06:19 AM
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Not being yelled at for the way I:

- play with my child
- interact with my child
- change diapers, bath, clothe, feed, read, etc
- have fun together

I guess basically the freedom to enjoy my child without getting hit in the head every day. Oh, she still does it... but now I can walk away, hang up or ignore her e-mails.

"Serenity Now"

Yeeha!
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2006, 06:37 AM
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I'm not technically divorced, as we were only common law, but since we separated a year ago, its been probably the worst year of my life by way of stress and the best year of my life for being able to finally find myself and let my children see "me". At the end of the day, they are all that matter. They will see both of us for who we really are and with any luck, they won't just love me, they will like me. One day, I hope to marry and show my children what a healthy loving marriage looks like and hope that they strive for the same. I also pray that they understand why our "marriage" ended and that there is nothing more important that how you treat people in this world. We can only lead by example. Our children are what we leave to this world. I plan on leaving two wonderful loving boys behind.
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2006, 08:19 PM
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Hey as a woman( and only separated not divorced) I can only speak to the best parts for me. I imagine my ex likes having the toliet seat up and no hair in the drain( well except for his own) but since I don't know that for sure, I can only talk about the good things for me. Like the toliet seat down etc. Alot of what I find the good parts would go for both men and women( the autonomy is a biggie!)

Feel free to post your faves- if they be us nagging women- just do it. That is what this thread is for! We woman know we are not perfect.
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