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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 02-25-2013, 11:54 PM
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Justin Timberlake - Cry Me A River - YouTube

Take the above in dual context.

First - I don't care.
I know that's really cruel. But I'm trying to point out the larger point that life is big and mean and will stomp on you once and awhile. It happens to everyone. You're not special - and thus no one really cares.

Time to pull on the big girl panties.

Second- You can find some solace in this song looking at from the point of view as what may happen down the line. Maybe not romantically, exactly. But I bet at one point your ex will turn to you for something one day. There's still lots of time ahead. Then you can be all vengeful and say 'cry me a river', if you so choose.

Last edited by wretchedotis; 02-25-2013 at 11:58 PM.
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Old 02-26-2013, 12:36 AM
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I have read the responses here and, for the most part, agree with the wisdom and logic.

I understand your anger and desire for validation. However, the one thing that would keep me from spilling the beans is the simple fact that your reaction would eventually get back to your ex. Do you want him to know you care about what happened to your marriage? Never lie or cover up for the jerk but always think about the long term effects of telling your now-adult children the details.

Don't give him that power.
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Old 02-26-2013, 12:13 PM
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I grew up in a home with both my parents and believe it or not, I never heard them argue. Once I became an adult, I came to realize that it was impossible for them not to have an argument. My mother passed away at age 57 due to complications with diabetes, my Dad passed away at age 88. Long before my Dad passed away, I told him that my husband and I argued quite a bit. My Dad said " Please tell me you don't argue in front of the children because, when you kids were growing up your mother and I kept you all away from our problems." I asked him what were their reasons for taking that stand and, he said; " we did not think you children should side with one parent over the other, and we had to maintain a mutual ground for you children to have a good relationship with both of us." Thank God my children were too young to understand at the time. My husband and I agree to disagree and never got our children involved in our problems. My husband passed away after 38 years of marriage.
Saying that to say this. Now I ask you:

1. Is worth it to be unhappy because of your ex's ignorance?
2. Do you love my children enough not to involve them in your problems?
3. Do you want them to hate him or you or, both of you?
4. What lessons are you teaching your children?
5. What kind of advise can you give your children, if you are not handling your own?
6. How do you want them to handle their marital problems if and when they get married and have children?
7. Should they involve their children in their problems if their marriage is in trouble? I can go on and on.

However, You are not waking up to see the face of this man every morning.
Get on with your life and do not continue to fuel it with anger.
Tell yourself what was done was done.
Do not further involve your children in you and their fathers' problems
Let them have the unburdened lives that they deserve in order for them to be happy.
Make yourself happy, smile even when you feel like screaming, develope happy thoughts and think positive.
Thank God for each day you are able to open your eyes and see light.
Pray that God would unburdened you from your troubles and give you health and strengh to carry on.
Stop the anger and misery you are bringing to your life, you deserve to be happy.
You are in a new relationship and your partner does not deserves the baggage.
Be very careful, you may lose him if your feuding continues.
GET HAPPY, YOUR AND YOUR PARTNER MAKE EACH OTHER HAPPY. LIFE IS TOO SHORT.

Last edited by Edy; 02-26-2013 at 12:46 PM. Reason: Made a few errors
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