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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 11-11-2010, 01:39 PM
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Default Is there ever an end to this?

I would like to talk for a moment about my own concerns.
just tired of being harassed by my EX. I made a comment sometime ago and this is how I really feel. "I fart, he files." sorry for the reference but honestly that is what my situation has been reduced to.
We separtaed in the spring of 2004 went to trial in Dec 07. He turned around and put it to appeal. It was dismissed. So here we are almost in 2011. the other day I get an email that he wants me to contact the court to set up a conference date. (this is still over his grumble not mine) What it basically is is he still begrudges me support. Fine. Honestly I dont care what he thinks. He just wants to continue playing the victem. While at trial the judge granted an amount for SS. Tables were never consulted by anyone and the end result is that what I was given is 1/3 plus a little of what he should be paying. I knew this was low but sucked it up. I have always felt that I have a bit of responsibility to rebuilding my life and have been trying to do so. This latest episode of his to get back in court over this is about the 10th time now. Why should I have to keep putting up with this. is there anything a person can do to end the nonsense once and for all. Why cant he see that he is actually pretty lucky that I say nothing.
I have been considering a cross claim if you call it that. 1. He is in contempt as he has not provided income info over the last 4 years that is requested under the order. 2. wonder if a judge would consider reviewing the support as what was given was so under the guidelines for both CS & SS? then brings up the question of retro.
I know I will take alot of backlash about all this from alot of payors around here. so be it. What I really would like is some constructive advice in how to get him to just back off. My lawyer tells me I am doing nothing wrong and need is still there. The thing is is that this divorce while extremely needed has destroyed me both financially and career wise.
Just seeking a little peace for a change and if anyone has a thought would love to hear it.
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Old 11-11-2010, 02:00 PM
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You can't legislate common sense.

If he is a vixatious ligitigant the court will see that but you have to give them the glasses. And all it will get you will be costs.

If he has been ordered to provide disclosure and refuses to comply, you keep on bringing it up.
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Old 11-11-2010, 02:06 PM
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Quote:
We separtaed in the spring of 2004 went to trial in Dec 07. He turned around and put it to appeal. It was dismissed. So here we are almost in 2011. the other day I get an email that he wants me to contact the court to set up a conference date
That's his problem, not yours. He's filing a motion, he has to serve you with it, then you answer it and the court clerk gives you a date.

There are no "support tables" for spousal. Do you mean child support? If he's paying less than guideline amounts on that, then by all means request that the issue of support be addressed based on his failure to provide his financial disclosure. (You HAVE been requesting he provide his notice of assessments each year to determine CS right?)

You may not get retro, as the onus is on YOU to request his notice of assessments each year and recalculate CS based on that. If he refuses, you file a motion to change the support amount based on the notice of assessments. (Ideally you should have it written in that it's automatically recalculated each year to avoid this song and dance each time).

If he's unreasonable, you ask for costs. If he refuses to pay on time or at all, and you are in Ontario, you file with FRO to enforce it.

CS is automatic and governed by the tables if the parties cannot agree. Spousal is NOT an automatic entitlement.
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Old 11-11-2010, 03:41 PM
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Default Oh the Frustration..

The Frustration of frequent litigation... Only the lawyers love it..

I am a payor, but I am in a situation like yours, I want to be done with the lawyers and the courts and just get on with life. I begrudge the childrens mother for frequently inventing new reasons for continuing legal action.. But there is nothing I can do to stop it..

My Lawyer has told me that the only way to get it to stop is to enter into "Case Managemet" where one justice oversees all motions on your file. But the downside is that you may get a Judge who is predisposed to a position contrary to yours...

Maybe Case Management is the option for you... I think that's what it is called when one Judge oversees all litigation on your file?
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Old 11-11-2010, 04:11 PM
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Default Spousal Support "Tables"

NBDad,

My lawyer and a second lawyer I consulted orginally both told me they use the "draft Guidelines" to set spousal support amounts.

While they are not neccessarily "tables", I have heard other people refer to the "Draft Spousal Support Guidelines" as "Spousal Support Tables".
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Old 11-11-2010, 05:11 PM
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They still set the formula pretty well to what is the typical norm. Typical is leaving the recipient with at least 45% of the payor's net disposable income.

There has to be a HUGE wage gap to meet that criteria, ie. he makes 100K/year, you were a SAHM making $0 for years as an example.

99% of the posts I see on this forum about spousal support, the person asking about it isn't even CLOSE to being entitled to it.

If you feel you got hosed on the spousal support, then bring forward a motion to recalculate CS. You should be asking him every year to provide his notice of assessment anyway, and making him recalculate the payments based on the prior year's income. That's the standard, and it's also the law. If he makes more money, he pays more CS. If he made LESS money, he pays LESS CS.

If he refuses to recalculate things, you go to court to compel and ask for costs.
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Old 11-11-2010, 08:02 PM
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Agree with NBDad. If he wants it so bad, he can do the work for it. Why on earth should it be up to you to make all the arrangements so he can take you to court and drag you through it. Blech, sounds like a jerk to me.
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Old 11-11-2010, 11:35 PM
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opps seems I made a mistake what I was refering to was the calculations made through divorce mate, but the bottom line is that he lied about the income- the judge saw through- upped the CS to where it should have been at the time. When it came to the spousal Judge asked both lawyers if they had consulted this calculation and neither had. So she just pulled an amount. My old lawyer looked at me and I didnt know any better so I agreed. Now I am told that what it should be is 700/month more. Frankly I wish the ex would just stuff it, but I am in need at the moment and have told him repeatedly to just be patient I know what my obligations are. he has alot of resentment that keeps him motivated to continue.

as for trying to bring to court well have tried the vexatios litigant route the only thing that saved him was he screwed up his motion and didnt show up at court. Judge just gave an order for him to basically cease until the appeal was heard. That was 14 months ago and well he has had me in court once and then threatens me last week to go again. i did nothing to provoke this latest.

Just get the feeling that he is doing this in the hopes that he will wear me down.
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Old 12-31-2010, 01:59 AM
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You should look at the bright side, after all you are the beneficiary of the CS and SC. Saying he is "harassing" you, when I see he's exercising his legal rights to look for justice, seems inappropriate to me.

A divorced friend of mine was complaining few years ago that he's afraid to hook up again with a North American woman, because many of them are only looking to exploit the law: to have a child, spend 2-3 years at home, then throw out "the bastard" and live from his CS and SC. So as long as the law encourages such behavior, I don't think someone going from an appeal to another is necessary wrong.
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Old 12-31-2010, 12:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by florio View Post
because many of them are only looking to exploit the law: to have a child, spend 2-3 years at home, then throw out "the bastard" and live from his CS and SC.
Right, all us women are willing to live in an unhappy marriage for a few years all for the sake of $500 a month. There are faster ways to make money...
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