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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 11-06-2012, 09:08 PM
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Agreed, but what is the likelihood that this will get imputed by a court? She is going to try to argue that we agreed to it and that its status quo. I guess from what I read, she has a responsibility to earn to her full capacity before seeking spousal support.
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Old 11-06-2012, 09:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stressfultimes View Post
Agreed, but what is the likelihood that this will get imputed by a court? She is going to try to argue that we agreed to it and that its status quo. I guess from what I read, she has a responsibility to earn to her full capacity before seeking spousal support.
Truthfully? Trying to guess the likelihood of what a judge will order for a particular case is like gambling. You can arm yourself with however many case laws, but every situation is unique and there are so many variables - how one present's one's case, quality of legal advice/representation, the judge, documentation etc. - that at the end of the day, if a case does go to court, it's all just a gamble, in my opinion.

Your best bet of achieving the outcome you want/prefer, whether negotiated or court-ordered, is to adopt a firm and fair/reasonable position that is backed by facts, based on evidence and works within the limits of the law, and stick to it. Depending on what the stakes are and what you are able to live with/without, being able to compromise will be a big help as well.

You are still in the early negotiation phase where both parties will try to draw a line in the sand and push for as much as they can. Like Mess said, the other lawyer is trying to bully you and hope that you are unaware of the law and your legal rights, and will feel intimidated enough that you either cave or get so flustered/frustrated/angered that you make the mistake of coming up with an equally untenable position to counter with.

Mess' advice is sound. Educate yourself. Understand the law, know your limits, keep focused on the goals, and deal with the other side in a calm, rational manner by presenting them with a fair/reasonable position (that will also appear fair/reasonable and supported by law to a judge). If you make your case strongly enough, the other side will be more willing to negotiate rather than have a court decide if they are convinced that you have a stronger case than them.

That said, in my opinion, based on what I've read in various cases and the information that you've shared so far (and looking at this aspect and this aspect alone): There's a good likelihood that income will be imputed at her pre-maternity leave maximum full time income, given that she was never prevented from earning that much and had only been earning the reduced income (whatever the reasons behind it) for about 2 years/a little over 2 years (in the context of a 10 year relationship) before you guys separated, and there's nothing (medically etc.) preventing her from returning to full time work going forward, no matter what she claims. But then again, i'm not a lawyer nor the judge who will be deciding your case.

Last edited by Exquizique; 11-06-2012 at 09:41 PM.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 11-06-2012, 10:02 PM
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I see she has not made any claim that she is working on certification/education on her day off -- that would be a hard one to argue against.

Here are my responses to her arguments:

1) "it would be taking her away from her son but will be going back to work when he goes to school next September. "
A short term argument ... keep in mind that you probably won't settle this for another 6-9 months, so really this is irrelevant. He's going to JK in Sept 2013 (10 months from now)?

2) "he now hasn't gone to day-care on that day for e years....one of which was after we separated. "
Irrelevant - she's saying that somehow because he never went to daycare on Thursday (for e.g.) that he cannot go to daycare on Thursday now? That's just bizarre.

3) "her work can't take her back 5 days now."
This is a short-term argument at best. In the longer term, she will encounter opportunities to fill the extra day ... IF SHE TRIES. And one of the (supposed) goals of SS is to promote self-sufficiency.

Last edited by dinkyface; 11-06-2012 at 10:04 PM.
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 11-07-2012, 10:32 AM
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Thanks again, one more question. I have been paying my proportionate share of household expenses but staying at my parents house for part of the time to avoid conflict. Should I be paying this proportionate share or just half? I'm afraid that this is setting precedence for CS and SS. When I deposit cheques, I always write "household expenses on the cheque"
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Old 11-07-2012, 04:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stressfultimes View Post
Thanks again, one more question. I have been paying my proportionate share of household expenses but staying at my parents house for part of the time to avoid conflict. Should I be paying this proportionate share or just half? I'm afraid that this is setting precedence for CS and SS. When I deposit cheques, I always write "household expenses on the cheque"
It is not setting a precidence. Best to leave as is to not rock the boat and create conflict because you aready agreed on it. Just make sure you communicate an end date (eg: the day you 100% move out or the day the house sells, etc).
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